Show me No Shows

I just gave someone my blog details, and then I realised... All I have been going these past few months/years is cribbing outside and flaking within. Gawd, the way my blog has evolved is from fun and happy-go-lucky, creative and lively to cynical and grumpy under the guise of wise and resilient. 

I earlier thought my long writing gaps and absences were my miss, but now they appear a boon; too much crabbiness for you to deal with already!

So, well, let me tell you what I've been doing these last 2 months, and what I plan to do these next few weeks...

Let's get the basics out of the way - I watched Sacred Games, all 8 episodes in Season 1, and I uncovered just how much social pressure shapes our actions. The show was good, though not extraordinary, but what struck me, was how much of a prisoner we have become to technology and entertainment. Earlier we used to wait one full week to watch the next episode of one of the handful shows on TV, but now with Netflix, Amazon Prime, SonyLiv, Voot, Hotstar and what not, we sit down like mindless zombies and keep watching episode after episode on loop, totally out of control of our brains, and utterly manipulated by the entertainment providers. Just how useful are these shows anyway? Do they teach us anything new, anything worth knowing, something to not be missed? 

No. All they do is give us meat to talk about to our peers who are senseless zombies like us, and ways to engage our mind and divert it from other, more ambitious, constructive actions. Real hobbies are dead today, because all we mention in our CVs and online portals under the hobby section is watch TV and listen to music. I used to write poetry and stories on my blog; these last few years - all I have done is write reviews of shows and movies and (very rarely) books. Damn! Just where did I go wrong... I thought I was a sensible lass, what crass!

The person who reminds me I am better off, is my husband, whose aim in life seems to watch all videos under the sun, useful or otherwise. The only person in my life who truly seems to have a balance of live versus unreal is my son - he is the one who enjoys conversations, likes to be outdoors and connect with the real world. He does like an occasional cartoon or two, but he's far superior to us adults when he says, "Enough now, let's play together". Child, indeed, is the father of man. Thank you, little Aaru, for teaching me this crucial lesson. 

We look for validation in all that we do. Am I watching the latest shows? What am I missing out on? What is everyone around me doing? How badly will I suffer if I am left out? 

We have lost our souls and our individualities. Me, no exception. I loved Game of Thrones after initially shunning it, until I could bear it no longer. I am eager to watch the ultimate season next year. I love Roadies that I religiously follow every week on Voot, and Splitsvilla, all thanks to my hero, Rannvijay Singha. I also have an inclination towards horror and comedy on Netflix and Amazon Prime. Koffee with Karan and BFF with Jeep was also interesting. 

I was drawn to this easy channel of entertainment, an obsession that kept me away from intelligent pursuits like reading, writing and doing something more tangible. I said work and the kid exhausted me, so I sunk into the sofa with my mobile phone and spent hours online, disconnected from real life, real people and my real self. I had no time for praying and meditation or exercise. But I was always available online. WhatsApp and Facebook made me more distant from those that sat right next to me. I left WhatsApp groups that were not relevant or useful, which made me watch dumb videos and memes, and shared endless Good Morning and mindless banter. I unfriended/unfollowed folks that I did not resonate with anymore. I make it a point to keep my phone away when I am with people, and I try not to look at it, until absolutely essential. I spend time on LinkedIn and news sites, and I have disabled all notifications from time-wasting apps. 

I am guilty, consider me reformed. 

Drawing a line is critical, to know when to stop and where to focus. It does not mean that you have to completely end something, but you need to know what is urgent and important, if you want to live life the best possible way. You decide your priorities, but your achievements determine your life. Be a fool and a slave to the wrong things, and that's all you'll ever be good for. Crap. A wasted life. Nothing to write home about, and a feeling of worthlessness long after the ship has sailed and others have moved on to greener pastures and better lives.

I hope the right people read this, I hope this post touches at least one, at least some of you. It will be my personal victory if you get on board with me in this struggle that appears flimsy, but will be a turning point in the long run. Evaluate your time, your life, your decisions. Anything that you should not be doing, quit. Something that has been on your bucket list forever, do it now. Clothes that you haven't worn and stuff you haven't used in the last 6 months, throw it - you will never use it again. Trust me. You won't miss it. For all you know, you don't even know when and where you misplaced it. Friends that you haven't met in ages - well, either you are not friends anymore, or you need to take the time to rebuild that relationship which you have taken for granted and cast away to the dogs.

I had only been thinking of blogging for some days. 

I did it today. I'll procrastinate later, I said. 

Get up, get a life. Get your life back. 

Lofty words. I know. But easy to do, no? 

Rephrase: 
Instead of "I don't have time"
Say - "You/This is not a priority"

Instead of "rejected"
Say - "redirected"

Your life will change. Don't mess up the big things for the small stuff. 

No regrets; that's what your epitaph should say.

I'm here if you need me. 

Cheers!
Anuja    

Hand-curbed

He loved to look at their hands. Not in the dirty, fetish kinda way, like they spoke about in psycho movies and books. His fondness was in the curious, genuine sort of way.

Short and stubby fingers. Long, bony ones. Fleshy palms. Green river-like veins trailing from wrist to knuckles. Fair hands so smooth that butter sliding over them would appear rough. Hardened skin with corns borne out of labor and lack of care.


He loved them all. They enthralled him beyond imagination.


Each one told him a story that he was eager to know.


Like the last time he was mixing shades of blue bangles for the lady of the visiting diplomat. Her hands, though neat and manicured still told a sturdy tale. After all, she had worked as a stenographer for a lengthy period of time, apart from working with thimbles and needles, and washing the clothes and dishes for even longer.



But all that was in the past. A past that her present would never disclose.

Except when someone looked at her hands.

He had. And he smiled at her, the knowing smile which shows both awe and empathy. She had smiled back, grateful that he hadn't said a word about what was obvious on his face.


She knew that he knew. It did not matter how. They were united in secrecy.



Another time, he had set eyes on a few cuts and burn marks on a homely maid's forearm. Punished for not being handsome enough, not bringing home enough money, and not being a good wife or mother.


He had seen them all, and they had shared that awkward moment with grace and simplicity. There was nothing tactical or inappropriate about it.


There had been no infidelity or sacrilege. It was possibly the purest form of understanding between any two individuals. Unconditional and unspoken.


He tried to sketch them a few times to preserve the memory of that vision and silent conversation. He made a mess of the entire experience. So, he stopped drawing. But his enchantment with this unusual hobby was far from over.


Working at a bangle shop suited him just fine. Though it did not pay enough to buy the new jacket that had caught his fancy at the Chor Bazaar, it gave him unrestricted access to all types of women and their hands. And with that, he was content.

"Chhote, aa gaya tu?"
( = So, you're here )


"Haan, bhaiya."
( = Yes )


"Chal, pendant ke counter par khda ho ja. Bhole ki chhutti hai."

( = Take care of the pendant counter. Bhole is on leave )


"Par...."
( = But...)


"Arre, chinta mat kar. Teri choodiyon ka dhyaan Monty rakh lega. Waise bhi auraton ko choodi dekhni hai, tujhe nahi"

( = Dont worry. Monty will look after the bangle counter. Anyway, the ladies are interested in bangles, not you )


The entire shop guffawed. A few clients looked at Chhote, they were not sure what they felt though the poor chap looked crestfallen. Most unknown sorrows are met with indifference.


Somebody's world was crumbling, and all they felt was indifference....


After all, intact bangles do not mean somebody's dream isn't broken.


- Princess

A wanderer's fantasy

(This poem was conceived as an entry into an Indiblogger contest : one that promises a trip to Melbourne, no less!! And if that does not sound worth it or exciting, then you MUST visit this website : www.visitmelbourne.com/in )

Founded in 1835,

Hey you can call me naive!

But I'm going to Melbourne soon,

And I'd need facts to stay alive.

As I step out of the Tullamarine,

An airport so huge and fine;

I marvel at the City of Literature,

The street art as rich as full-bodied wine.

Unravelling the numerous charms,

Hidden in the city divine;

The aura and versatility,

Enthrall the body, heart and mind.

Struck by wanderlust,

I "shuffle" through the Melbourne lanes;

Having my fill of the Australian cultural capital,

My fatigue and boredom wanes.

A lively, ambitious teenager hoping to study further,

I held Melbourne inspiring and dear;

(Did you know Cate Blanchett, Rupert Murdoch

And Kylie Minogue were born here?)

A hop, skip and jump,

On and off the free City Circle tram;

The Docklands and Cooks' Cottage,

Gift me memories unforgettable and glam.

Melbourne Aquarium whisks me away,

To the waterworld and kingdom of swim;

Level 88 on Melbourne’s Tower Eureka,

Seems more incredible than a crazy whim.

My highest flight of fancy ain't a match,

For balloon flights teasing the clouds,

The greeter's service makes me comfy and welcome.

I feel one with the jovial crowds.

As I think of home and family,

The "Indian" River Lagoon strikes a chord;

Lookout areas that transport me to paradise,

And causeways ingenious and broad.

Chinatown, gardens, spa, events and zoos,

Melbourne's got it all;

Eat, explore, shop and make merry,

I rejoice until I fall.

As my reverie ends,

And I ponder when and how,

Indiblogger and Visit Melbourne whisper,

... It's your time to visit Melbourne NOW!

Cheerio!!

(With fingers crossed as hard as I can...)

- Princess

Forsaken Faith

Saahil loved women. They made him happy in so many ways.

He used them to suit the purpose at hand. He explored them in bed, showed them off at social dos, wooed them when he felt flirtatious, seduced them when he wanted to feel powerful, ignored them when he wanted to hang out with the guys and politely bade goodbye after he was done with all of the above.

And women… They seemed to know it all – his history, reputation and character - and yet got attracted to him. Some because they wanted a wild guy exactly like him who they believed they could tame and keep for life, others because they themselves wanted to enjoy a brief, stormy ride in the woods.

The string of women never ended. One gave way to another, and for Saahil, ever woman was a feather in his overflowing cap; a victory that made him feel like the alpha male he fantasized to be. He guiltlessly hounded them, sometimes one at a time, other times several at once.

Good if they agreed, better if they didn’t. It gave him a challenge to focus his ambition and skills on.

What baffled the other guys was that Saahil wasn’t what you’d call good-looking. He wasn’t young or affluent either. He was just about average in every way. And yet he landed the classiest of girls. How could charm account for everything? The way he talked was anything but genuine, his objectives were anything but genteel, and yet, there he was – making his moves and taking his chances with any and every chic that he came across. Some guys just had all the luck in the world…

People laughed behind his back and bitched all around him. That didn’t unsettle him. He didn’t like anyone anyway; to him, they were all idiots that he had to put up with. Until he won the lottery.

But until that time, Sahil was happy and content in his world of lasses, blether and liquor.

What lay in his past? Did he have a story that could explain the way he was? Had he been ditched by a girl? Was he ever duped and misled so badly that it scarred him for life? What was his reason to go about scarring other women? Was he really superficial and fake? Was he just too lazy to think and care?

His showiness was a mystery to the ladies he interacted with. They couldn’t figure out why he was so artificial and casual. They didn’t understand how he didn’t think or care about who did what and who said what. Nothing perturbed him. It was a blessing when they had other commitments and secrets. Obviously, it backfired when they felt emotionally uncared for by him.

After all, which girl wants a guy that says ok and hangs up when she’s yelling at him to get lost coz she’s upset?

Well, he did call back after sometime. Sometimes.

The other times, he just broke up without a word and went off his gay path.

(Gay, as in merry. But yeah, some people did suspect that he was gay…)

The only thing that interfered with their conclusion was the continuous and endless spate of females that he hung out with openly and in private. He blatantly wheedled one and sneaked out with another. He shamelessly declared, “everyone is my girlfriend” when someone asked about his current flame.

If the unfortunate girl was in love with him, too bad for her. He had no intentions of hanging around for too long. After all, just how long can a dog keep running behind one car?

She just ought to thank her stars that they weren’t engaged or wedded. Saahil wasn’t a guy that would remain loyal or caring forever. And marriage wasn’t a priority for him anyway. Everything that he needed was freely available without connubial hassles. And he knew how to make the most of it.

He WANTED to make the most of it.

Saahil stepped out of the house and kissed his girlfriend as she called for the lift.

It had been a lovely night, she thought.

“I’ve to pick up some booze and munchies on the way. Got friends coming over tonight”, he said.

She held onto him as they rode down the lanes.

As he dropped her, she clung onto him and said, “Please call me when you reach home.”

“Love you baby”, he said.

He reached the mall half an hour later. The streets were filled with traffic.

But there she was, as dainty and gorgeous as ever. Waiting for him.

"It was gonna be a beautiful day", she thought…

Dum-Darr

I marvel at people that live life on the edge - daredevils who engage in terrifying stunts and freaky adventures. The folks that they show in movies and TV shows, and also the ones that do them live putting their lives at stake, giving life and safety the middle finger. Call them bold, label them imprudent – they sure believe in adrenaline rushes and living life in the fast lane.

I wouldn’t call myself rigid or sissy, but I do have a preference to live a safe, organized life with a decent amount of predictability and control. I enjoy doing things out of the ordinary, but death-defying exploits and I aren’t exactly what you’d call on the same side of the coin. I’m not afraid of dying, and I do relish the occasional high that risks bring, but the fear of an accident occurring and marring me for life is more forbidding.

Life is treacherous, we all know it. My hair stands on end when I watch racing and adventure sports. Bike stunts appeal to me like no other. And yet, I get jittery when I’m riding pillion with someone who even changes lanes or takes a sharper than necessary turn.

(Have you heard this one? Anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot, and anyone who goes faster than you is a maniac. LOL)

How is it living each day as it comes without contemplating about the future? Be it soldiers of war, or a mere bus driver within the city – who knows what’s going to happen at the next instant?

For that matter, even a pedestrian in broad daylight isn’t completely safe. Haven’t we heard enough about drunk drivers injuring people coz they lost control? Sad but true. Which is why I always tell mum whenever she worries about me working late or staying out late at night – things can go horribly wrong even during the day, so let destiny take its course and live our life fearlessly. What’s bound to happen will happen. Nothing can change or stop that. Why handicap yourself by imposing restrictions when you can make the most of your days alive?

I have heard umpteen instances where people who do all types of crazy stuff lead happy and healthy lives, and those who go the extra mile to take care of what they eat, how much they sleep, what they do and don’t do end up with heart attacks and other diseases that prevent them from enjoying a normal life.

Thought for the day: Live life the way you want without bothering about tomorrow. Eat sweets - who knows tomorrow you might get diabetes. Watch movies, travel, visit temples and lounges – who knows if you end up blind or disabled for life tomorrow. Take up that hobby you’ve been postponing and deliberating over – who knows you might never get a chance to do it in the future. Talk to that person on your mind irrespective of whether you’ve met for the first or last time – who knows, either you or that individual may not be around anymore…

(Exception: The vices that get you addicted. Liquor, drugs, sex and the like. You need to draw a line there and be careful. Don’t let the heady stimulation wreck your common sense and logic.)

On that note, I remember a bizarre show on television – 1000 ways to die. Heard of it? It shows real-life clips of odd ways in which men, women and children die because they do not anticipate their or someone else’s actions to be fatal. It is telecast on Fox Crime channel I think, somewhere around 11 or 11.30 every night. You should watch it. The last few times I saw it, I was taken aback, aghast at how we go about our daily or unusual lives without realising that death’s lurking around the corner… A mindless prank, a diet plan, a well-planned date, an unplanned rendezvous, carelessness at work – whew! And you thought there were only a few set ways to die – heart attack, accident, illness or old age…

You recall they gave us essays to write in school – topics like is TV a boon or bane? I wonder what to pick. While stuff on channels like Discovery and TLC is educational and enlightening, there are also a host of shows that are entertaining but counter-productive. Reality TV, which I presume is only second to the BPO boom in terms of being revolutionary, poses a threat to safety and integrity. Look at Emotional Atyachar and Big Switch on Bindaas, Breaking the Magician’s code on AXN, etc.

The first two have me flabbergasted at how teenagers are getting lured into testing the love and loyalty of their “partners” and family. While it’s good for those that are escaping a life of sorrow and regret, it’s also detrimental to the concept of trust and openness. The magic show – well, while it’s astonishing and engaging, as a friend rightly pointed out, they’re killing the fun of watching a magic show in real life by disclosing all their tricks and revealing the stark simplicity in their awesome “haath ki safai”.

Movies like Bunty and Babli, Oye Lucky, etc show innovative ways to dupe and kill people. Harebrained idiots watching the show would only be glad to take a hint or two and enact the same in their real lives, either to pull a fast (and sometimes lethal) one on friends and strangers or to actually take revenge.

Hmm… Looks like I’ve done it again… Jaana tha China, pahuch gaye Japan…

Time to say bye.

Cya later, alligator!

- Princess

Baby I'm Addicted...

This goes out to most boys (and some girls, too) who drink for any and every reason, any and every day.

Why do you drink so much?

What is it about alcohol that is so irresistible and makes you so desperate?

It’s ridiculous.

Honestly.

I won’t deny the desire and pleasure of a drink now and then when you’re very stressed of extremely happy, or you want to celebrate a particularly significant occasion in your life.

But drinking coz you can afford it and drinking coz booze is available is downright stupid.

And the fact that you can’t control yourself in the presence of alcohol is disgusting.

I’ve seen more than a few folks who drink almost every single day for no other excuse than they’ve been to office or they have nothing else to do. Guys get together after work and lounge at someone’s place with bottles of beer, rum and whisky maybe because it makes them feel cool, or could be because they believe that it is essential. A day without alcohol makes them feel incomplete and bored. As if they’ve wasted one day of their life. Now how wise and exciting is that?!

I can fathom a few logical reasons for drinking (if any reason for drinking CAN be termed logical). One, it’s just something you do when you gang up with a bunch of friends/colleagues. (As if just sitting around munching on snacks and listening to music isn’t happening enough.) Two, it’s a-given that guys drink whenever they can, so this agenda doesn’t require any planning or discussion. Three, people are addicted. Either truly or they believe they are. In my opinion, it’s more psychological. “I’ve had a hard day, and I NEED a drink.”

And of course, when you drink, you sure NEED a smoke…

Why am I getting so worked up about it? Well, simply put, it ANNOYS me.

What’s with drinking everyday ya? Or every alternate day for that matter? Or every weekend even?

So fine you drink one day coz you feel like it. Fair enough. And then you drink the next day coz a colleague wants to drink. Nonsense! And then you drink the day after that because one of your team-mates got promoted. Haa! The next day it’s someone’s birthday, so a drink is in order. And obviously, you catch up with friends over the weekend or visit a new hangout, or your girlfriend wants to go partying …

Loser!! Get a grip on yourself. Whoever said that booze available is booze that needs to be drunk?!! Whoever said you can’t say no? Why the hell do you think that if you refuse to drink, someone might get offended or ridicule you?

I seriously don’t understand.

I mean, you’re educated enough to know that you are making yourself dependant on this poison. You might convince yourself that you’re not addicted but your actions and emotions speak otherwise. If your will power cannot hold you back from regular binge, then dude, you gotta serious problem. Indulgence is one thing, overdoing it and being unable to control yourself – deep shit you’re in, mate. And what sucks is you don’t even realise or accept it.

You’re screwing your own health – physical, mental and emotional. You’re jeopardizing the life of others who depend on you – your family, whether born or unborn yet. And how fair is that?

No… I do not believe you when you say you know what you’re doing. I do not believe you when you say you are in control. Drinking more than twice a week and more than 4 times a month, is a grave concern. And if you can’t stop yourself, lord save you.

Stop calling your girlfriends, siblings, spouses and parents nags just coz they care for your health and ask you to refrain from drinking.

Stop thinking you’re cool and drinking is a way to prove that.

Stop supposing that there is no better way to enjoy life. Recreation and rejuvenation has better modes than this ugly habit. Exercise. Watch a movie. Hang out at a club or park. Pick a hobby. Play cards or chat with relatives and friends. Learn how to dance or speak a new language. Do something creative. Find ways to make your loved ones feel special. Do all the things you miss out on coz you waste half your breathing time making merry after a bottle of booze.

Life is much more than a high, buddy.

Quit the alcohol. Kick the pot. Chuck the cigarette.

It’s not worth it, trust me.

Why am I saying all this?

Coz I care.

And you know I do…

I hope you care for me, too…

Be good!

Princess

BPO Bloopers

Once in a BPO, you get stamped in a variety of ways.

I’m not talking about prejudices people harbour or accusations non-BPO people hurl at you. I mean working in a BPO develops some traits in you that are peculiar to this industry.

For example(s)…

I now get ready to swipe my identity card whenever I happen to pass any door. It’s so spontaneous! As soon as I reach a doorway, whether I am at home or at a restaurant, my hand reaches for my I-card (which is obviously not hanging where it does when I’m at office). As we know, security and data privacy are top concerns in a BPO, so you are required to be frisked when you enter/exit and permitted admission to certain areas.

Another really funny thing - most call centre agents (also called customer service executives/representatives) pick up their personal telephones/mobile phones with the call opening they use at work! No, I’m not kidding you… as any agent will readily tell you… So, when a friend calls, the sleepy young man unpretentiously quips, “Thank you for calling XYZ. This is Amos. How can I help you today?” And the caller goes ha ha ha, making the person feel foolish and mortified. Yet resigned to the fact that that is how it is…

All part and parcel of being in a BPO.

Just like losing track time of time, and not following schedules.

I know people who work for BPOs and can sleep for entire days at a stretch. Sleep becomes the be all and end all of their life. They work their shift (which is usually not 9-5) and then their first and last priority remains to catch up on sleep. And considering that most of them stay alone, or with friends, and consume alcohol fairly often, sleeping indefinitely is no great challenge.

They have no clue whether it’s a Tuesday or a Thursday (for obvious reasons, nobody forgets the weekend, nor does anyone forget Monstrous Mondays – assuming that week offs are on weekends). They eat at any odd hour and are not particular about lunch time and dinner time. And more often than not, they are not punctual. Invite or plan something with a BPO employee, and they will definitely arrive an hour late. It’s the just the way they are…

(Yes, I said they. I’m a very organized person, in case you don’t remember/know, and I work by the clock, setting frequent alarms to remind me of various engagements and appointments.)

And well, if you’re late all the time, you can’t get all your to-do’s done for sure. Which means you keep putting off and postponing activities. And then you lose motivation and interest. Procrastination. One of the many things I hate the most. Extremely common among most people employed in the IT and ITeS sector.

This evil, unfortunately, I have acquired over the last few months.

I mean, c’mon ya. When you’re working 5 days (or more) a week and you’re frazzled, you just want to put your feet up and relax over the weekend. There are some chores that do manage to carry out, but others that are optional get pushed away week after week. So I arrange to have my bills paid in time in order to avoid the late fee, but I keep changing the reminder date on my schedule for other non-deadline tasks like shopping, checking out a particular place or catching up with a particular person. My weekends are spent doing nothing with good friends, or spending time with the family so that they don’t complain…

Another thing about being a part of this industry that I do not favour… Smoking and consumption of alcohol. The excuse is “we lead stressful lives, and our jobs give us much agony”. I fail to understand how other professionals are unruffled, it’s not like they have easy jobs. However, we shall abandon that debate for now, considering most people these days smoke and drink. A common word for them all – it’ll ruin you, stop it. If it’s for fun and you know you’re in control, well done. But if you are a compulsive addict, you’re in deep s*** baby.

Oops. I get a feeling I’m getting into the critical/patronizing mode. So, let’s call it quits.

Also, week-offs become more important than weekends (unless you’re in support functions and get fixed Saturdays-Sundays off). So, weekends cease to be forever exciting and motivating… The buzz-word is “weekly off”. And sometimes it’s split… But let’s not get into that snag.

Politics, hypocrisy and gossip – also a part and parcel of BPO life? Well maybe it’s omnipresent. No point condemning just this industry.

However, perception… That’s very important. Like I’ve shared before, you gotta manage your perception better than your performance. If people SEE what they want to see, then your performance can be fudged or fabricated. (That’s not the way I function, though I’ve noticed several people utilize this very effectively and successfully).

Now when I mean perception, I don’t mean only as regards work. It’s also about the things you say and the way you say it. So, what you mean as a joke could become an HR issue if the other person does not take it in the same jovial sense. You gotta watch what you do and you gotta treat people as colleagues, not friends. For most BPO-ittes, colleagues are colleagues and not friends. A lesson I seriously need to learn…

On that note, I say ba-bye… Have a good day!

Be back soon…

Cheerio!
Princess

Johny Don’t Lie No More

OK so I bet you’ve heard the song Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira, and also the nursery rhyme we learnt in kindergarten. The one that goes “Johny Johny. Yes Papa. Eating Sugar. No Papa.” Right… that one…

Wanna know one of my all-time favorite jokes that nobody but I crack up on?

Well, you got no choice. I’m obviously telling you.

So (tee hee hee) there’s this elephant that kills the zebra (ha ha) and the giraffe is investigating the matter. A hippopotamus is witness to the murder (LOL), and the elephant pleads him not to reveal the facts. When the giraffe goes up to the hippo, the hippo calmly discloses (smirk smirk) all there is to say. The elephant goes all snotty and sad and confronts the hippo.

Elephant to Hippo : “So, dude, why did you not protect me? You could have covered my a**.”

Hippo to Elephant: “My dear friend… You know what they say… Hips don’t lie.” (ROFL)

Ok… ridicule me all you like. I still love this joke. So what if no one but me laughs?!!

Right. Getting back to the point. I’ve not written this post to tell you jokes and poems. It’s to share with you one of my greatest learnings, whatever little I’ve managed to grasp in my twenty years (and five).

DON’T TELL LIES.

Bet your parents and teachers drilled it into you when you were young. Their intention was to make you a good, honest human being.

My intention is the same too (god bless your merry soul), but the motivation is entirely different - You’ll goof up and be trapped if you lie. So better tell the truth than be caught with your pants down.

It’s like this, you gotta remember all the details if you ever hide something. And trust me it’s too much of a bother. You can afford to forget trivialities when you’re on the right side of the line. Not when something sudden comes up a year or two later (or even a month or week later) and you can’t recall what you’d said when you’d shared the facts originally.

No way am I preaching, nor am I saying that I’ve been as truthful and scrupulous as the great Harishchandra all my life. There have been many times when I told white, grey and black lies… And though I wasn’t caught each time (thank heavens for that), I certainly didn’t enjoy the few times I was.

Like when I told mum I was going to Mumbai for my friend’s brother’s wedding, and instead went for a modeling show. Or when I met a friend without informing another friend. Gosh. Extremely embarrassing moments. Especially for someone like me who always wants to show how honorable and faultless I am.

However, I admit it, and I apologize for all the worry and hurt I’ve caused. Trust me, it wasn’t worth it. Telling the truth would have led to a spat, but it’s better than to blunder by lying.

Now let’s look at the other side of the coin. Why do we lie? Coz someone does give us the confidence, freedom or opportunity to tell the truth. Someone’s reactions to the outcome of our actions may forbid us from sharing the reality with that person.

I knew my mum would not approve of my going for a show to Mumbai. She was dead against my modeling in the first place, and for me to be walking the ramp wearing costumes magnificent and modern, no way was she going to be happy. And I wanted to go. Had not going been an option, I would have discussed it with her, and accordingly made a decision. But nope, I HAD to go, and there was no way I could do that without offending or worrying momma. Bingo! Lie in place. Caught a few weeks later. Sorry, Maa… Didn’t mean it that way, you know that… Sorry, and love you.

And… hiding the truth is as good as telling a lie… No arguments.

I won’t go as far as to say that I admire all honest folks, that’s not my only criterion to like or dislike a person. However, I do find it extremely brave when people accept their mistake or oversight. In the corporate world, the blame game is very popular. So, when an individual comes out in the open and admits an error, it’s worth appreciating.

Talking about admiration, I’m mad about the creative team at Vodafone. What a brain these guys got! First it was Pug, then ZooZoo and now the Blackberry Boys jingle. Proves that you don’t always need an Amitabh or Shahrukh or Akshay or Aamir to sell a product. Sometimes, good melodies and great ideas can do the trick. Hats off to you guys, if you’re reading this! Good job.

Waise, Vodafone comes across as quite an exciting employer. My bhabhi worked there for a year, and it was superb to hear her telling us about the various events they hosted and the wonderful goodies they gave out every now and then. Talk about keeping internal customers happy, and Vodafone would come out tops. Innovative way to brand your products and market value. Cheers again!

Who else do I admire? Rajnikanth! Hahaha… It’s true. That guy rocks! At his age, to have a fan following that tremendous and passionate – not a feat anyone and everyone can manage! I was eager to see Robot, but didn’t find the time or company! Definitely gona catch it when I can...

On that note , I’m gona share some amazing Rajnikant jokes… Yenjoyyy!!

Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.
When Rajnikant does pushups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the earth down.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.

Ain’t that super cool? But there’s one more “R” I heartily adore…

Rosech / Rosesh Sarabhai! I miss that serial. Wonder why they don’t come up with a new season… Wana read some of his poems? Here you go!!

Title: Momaa ka purse

Momaa ka purse jaise hospital ki pyaari si koi nurse
Purse mein rakha tissue paper karta hai paseene ka ilaaj
Aur lipstick ho jaise bhookhe honton ka anaaj
Momaa ke purse ka hai makhmali sa sparsh
Momaa ka purse
Momaa ka purse.

Another one…
Khatar khun khatar khun khatar khun
Sun mere dil ki dhun
Tere pyaar ki oiling mil gayi isey
Toh khatar khun ka ho jaayega gun gun "

Come back next time for some more killers by Rajni and Rosesh!

And feel free to share Rosesh and Rajnikanth's awesomeness on the blog, You can comment by clicking the link below that says comments...

And I’m not lying :-)

Cheerio!
Princess

The Seven Deadly Sins

It's the seventh of September today.

Time to baato some gyaan.

Do you know about the Seven Sins? I'd heard about them, but I wasn't quite sure what they were, or what their significance was. So, you know what I did - I checked them out. On my pet site – Wikipedia.

The Seven Deadly Sins (also known as the Capital Vices or Cardinal Sins) - a classification of the most objectionable vices - used since early Christian times to educate and instruct followers concerning (immoral) fallen man's tendency to sin.

The sins are Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride. The acronym SALIGIA captures their first letters in Latin: superbia (pride), avaritia (greed), luxuria (extravagance/lust), invidia (envy), gula (gluttony), ira (wrath), and acedia (sloth).

Dante Alighieri (the famous poet) spoke about the sins in his epic poem The Divine Comedy, and here I shall present to you some info about the same.

Lust – We all know what lechery is… Excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. Of course, Dante's criterion was excessive love of others, which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary. Giving in to lusts can lead to sexual or sociological compulsions and/or transgressions including (but not limited to) sexual addiction, fornication, adultery, rape, perversion, and incest.

Gluttony - The over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything. In the Christian religions, it is considered a sin because of the excessive desire for food, which means it is withheld from the needy. However, depending on the culture, it can be seen as either a vice or a sign of status.

Saint Thomas Aquinas, an immensely influential philosopher and theologian in the tradition of scholasticism (popularly known as Doctor Angelicus / Doctor Communis), went so far as to prepare a list of six ways to commit gluttony:
• Praepropere - eating too soon.
• Laute - eating too expensively.
• Nimis - eating too much.
• Ardenter - eating too eagerly.
• Studiose - eating too daintily.
• Forente - eating wildly.

Greed - also known as avarice/covetousness is a sin of excess just like lust and gluttony. As seen by the Church, greed is applied to materialism, or the acquisition of wealth in particular. Disloyalty, betrayal, bribery, scavenging and hoarding of objects, theft, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all actions that may be inspired by greed.

Sloth – This was believed to be the failure to utilize one's talents and gifts. The modern view goes further, regarding laziness and indifference as the sin at the heart of the matter. Sloth is regarded as a lesser sin as it is more about NOT doing something (omission) than actually doing wrong (commission).

Wrath - Also known as rage; it may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest as vehement denial of the truth, impatience, the desire to seek revenge by harming self or others. Thus, suicide was deemed as the ultimate, albeit tragic, expression of wrath directed inwardly, a final rejection of God's gifts.

The next sin, Envy is similar to greed, yet different. Envy is aroused when another person has some quality or possession that one would like to have. Those who commit the sin of envy resent that another individual has something they perceive themselves as lacking, and they wish the other person to be deprived of it.

Pride (hubris) is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and the ultimate source from which the rest arise. It is the desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self.

Now this is interesting - The Roman Catholic Church also recognizes Seven Virtues which correspond inversely to each of the seven deadly sins...

Vice Virtue
Lust - Chastity
Gluttony - Temperance
Greed - Charity
Sloth - Diligence
Wrath - Patience
Envy - Kindness
Pride - Humility

Some consider Justice as an eighth virtue... But I guess that's enough info download for the day :-)

By the way, do you remember I told you about how the Pandavas set out to reach Heaven in their mortal bodies and they all (except Yudi) failed? Coincidentally, 3 of the 5 Pandavas failed due to their pride, while Bheema and Draupadi were unsuccessful because they loved something/someone else more than God in their lifetime...

Amazing how the stories, philosophies and mythology connect!

My greatest sin? I'd say Pride... I got too much of an ego and I'm damn sure about every single thing I do... Some call it intelligent confidence and appreciate it :-D

Discover yourself!

-Princess

One + One = Eleven (??)

The wedding season is here again!

(Congrats Neeta, Vishweta, Abhijeet, Sayali, Rujuta, Gaurangi, Amruta, Rahul and all you others whose names I’ve not mentioned here for space/privacy reasons. Wish you all happy wedded lives!)

As you can read above, a lot of my batch mates – both from school and college, are tying the knot – amongst themselves, or with “sundar, shahani, layak pora and pori” (=smart, pretty and eligible young men and women) searched by their families from around the globe.

Conversations with friends (or even other folks) sooner or later land up on the topic of bachelorhood and impending matrimony. I’m wondering if this is creating any kind of stress among those that are yet single or in the market out-for-grabs. The pressure is not just on marriageable “kids” but also their parents, who are busy searching for potential brides and grooms as a primary task.

I have been ruminating on the concept of “peer pressure” over the last few weeks. How the same peer pressure that acts upon a person as a child, also continues to affect an individual when he/she gets married and has a job. And that’s not the end! Peer pressure also operates among the elderly in various pertinent ways. Owing to influence by age-mates, a school-going kid learns to smoke/smoke up, a professional takes up a responsibility or position he/she does not enjoy, and the grandfather starts using purgative when his digestive system is doing great!

I’m not saying peer pressure is always bad. If peer pressure makes you vote, it’s great!

(Pune went to the polls today. I hope you voted, too! The media and youth made tremendous efforts to get people to the polling booths, and I’m hoping this will create a strong government with able people in the times to come. Amen.)

So why exactly am I talking about this? Coz I’ve been wondering how people cower down and identify themselves with the gang that they hang out with. The adapted habits could be voluntarily chosen, subconsciously accepted or internalized simply through the fear of being bullied or ridiculed. Like when I used to spend entire days at CCD while in junior college, I used to meet a bunch of friends regularly, most of who used to smoke and dope. While there was no force on me to start doing the same, there were others who decided to try it, and then continued doing it coz it looked “cool” and made them feel like partners-in-crime. Now when I meet those buddies again, they smirk how they stupidly joined the rat race in a bid to “fit-in” and create an impression. Some have got off their addictions, others are still enjoying their definitions of style and youthfulness. Each one to his own.

I believe values and principles play a major role in what you choose to do, and what you choose not to do. For me, drinking might be acceptable, but for someone else, eating meat could be a bigger crime than doing drugs. Hence, we really cannot say what is right and wrong. People grow up with their own unique experiences, they meet a different set of individuals, they belong to various groups... And thus, the final product, that is the person, is possibly the best he/she could be. And if we can accept that, well and good. Else, who cares?!!

I care. For people who are close to me. For people I’ve known for a long time. For people that mean something to me. And so, I try to change them. Not for selfish gains, but for their own good. Which is why I shout on you, M, when you let people walk all over you. Or you, S, when you do something that is bad for you in anyway – personal or professional. Or you, N, when you go out of your way to do something for those that don’t deserve it. I know I should keep my trap shut and let you do what you guys please, after all, it’s your life and your choice. But I care... And I speak... And I get hated... But that’s OK... As long as I know you’re OK...

Well, I’ve sure come a long way from where the post started. So, let me retrace my steps. Orkut and Facebook are abuzz with pictures and status messages that are informing the network about people’s engagements, weddings and babies. It delights me to see those that I hung out with as a kid or teenager, now taking vows of love and loyalty. It is a little difficult, I admit, coz the person suddenly seems older and distanced, but it sure is a happy occasion. I just find it weird that people don’t want to invite their school and college buddies to their grand ceremonies. What could the reason be? Too many guests to invite? Not worthy enough? Too much expenditure? I’m guessing...

Hey people, I’m gona post a public announcement when I tie the knot. I want you all to come, regardless of how many times we’ve met or whether we were close or not. Coz each one of you is special to me. And I want you to join me on my special day.

(Nope, it’s not happening anytime soon. Shall let you know when the pipeline’s buzzing!!)

So, be ready to block your calendars.
This is one smile you owe me for all the times my blog has made you smile :-)

Cheers!
Anuja

Slam Book

Remember high school days when Slam Books were THE talk of the entire class and every section? Who’s filling whose, and who’s writing what was such an exciting discussion! And then there was the owner’s request, “Please don’t read what anyone else has entered.” (Which we obviously ignored, and glanced through anyway.)

For those of you who have skipped this stage (poor you!), let me explain the concept.

Slam books are those cute books that have pages filled with various captions about personal details – right from name and address to friends, favorite teachers/movies, crushes and even person I hate the most, etc. (Didn’t quite like the hate bit, but as kids we weren’t too good at empathy and matters of the heart, right?)

Everybody had one; most had two, coz one wasn’t enough to incorporate their entire social circle. Besides, some got slam books every term – such was the craze! Some even filled the same book twice coz they had nothing to do, or wanted to pen in something different from the last time…

So, anyway, the point is, I’m going to fill a slam book right here on my blog today, giving you a chance to know more about me – Anuja, the live (and kicking) person. Enjoy!

I am… An emotional fool, a loyal friend, a fantastic but possessive lover, a quick-tempered and imaginative perfectionist. I’m Anuja (aka Lonely Princess), God’s favorite child…

I graced the earth on… July 23rd, 23 summers ago.

My sun-sign… Cusp - Cancer / Leo (Haven't I spoken about that enough already?!)

I like... (Gosh, there’s two posts on that already! Read this and this for details.) However, here’s some things that I can say off-handedly - icecreams, Milkybar cadbury, books, music, cosseting and laughing uncontrollably, blogging, sleeping without alarm clocks and deadlines…

I hate... Lizards, politics, procrastination and laziness, purposeless and insensible behavior, transience of decisions and relationships, braggarts, too much discussion about anything, and being stood up.

My favorite actor/actress… King Khan SRK, Urmila, Big B Amitabh Bachhan, Madhuri, Govinda, Johny Lever, Rajpal Yadav, Javed Jaffery.

My favorite singer… (Read this) Sunidhi Chauhan, Madonna, Atif, Enrique, Asha Bhosale, JLo, Kishore Kumar, Maroon 5, Kailash Kher, Alisha, Green Day, mum and me!

My favorite books… (Check this)

My favorite movies… (Read this)

... Or you could simply visit my profile page on blogger for the above. (Always keen to save time!!)

My favorite color… Blue, lavender, black, yellow, white, magenta, orange, green… Guess that covers the entire spectrum! (Basically, all bright colors. Not fluorescents, for sure!)

Love is… A crazy feeling that can make you speechless and yet fill pages and pages with the language of the heart. It can make you the happiest of people and take you to the seventh heaven, and dash you back on Mother Earth with as much force. (An entire section! Click here)

Friendship is… That amazing feeling of knowing that there is someone who you can laugh with, cry with, enjoy with and fight with... And yet stay together without any blood bond... It is what carries you through those days when love threatens your peace and joy. (If only friendship wouldn’t always culminate into a love relationship…)

At this point in time, I miss... The rains! The delicate aroma of the wet mud, the drops of life that fall on the skin and rejuvenate all that’s dry and dead, the exhilarating sight of the showers that part for no man or creature. Multi-hued raincoats and pretty umbrellas. People running to find shelter from the rain, as tiny tots jump with glee and kiss the raindrops… Aah! Reminds me of the mad Pune monsoons…

What I do in my free time… At work, I blog and play computer games whenever I get some time off. My favorites - Spider Solitaire and Freecell, Battleship, Red Bugs, Hammer Heads, Bookworm and a Bejeweled-like but cuter Chuzzle. I also came across this funny game on the MTV Roadies website - Slap Raghu. At home, I watch TV (I’ve already told you about my fav shows), read, play cards or chat with mum, sing or listen to music.

I want to be... Famous and popular (they're two different things, you know, right?!!), humble and helpful, more ambitious, less emotional and less expecting than I am now.

My friends... Have hundreds of them splashed across social networking sites. But, those are close and in regular contact, I can count them off my fingers...

3 things I can't live without... Vaseline lip guard, sweets and music.

If I knew I was going to die in an hour... I'd call and tell my loved ones "I'm sorry for all the hurt and trouble I've given you. But I love you... And I'll miss you..."

My biggest regret... None! I don't believe in having regrets. Life is once, just live it!!

A song that relates to me and my life... Tanha tanha yahan pe jeena, ye koi baat hai, koi saath nahi tera yahan toh, ye koi baat hai, kisi ko pyar de, kisi ka pyar le le, is saare zamane mein yehi pyaari baat hai (Movie - Rangeela)

My tuppence to humanity... It's all for the best, and there's no other way it could have possibly been better :-)

Love ya fellas!
Lonely Princess

Alco-Horoscopes (contd...)

Heyloooo!

Ready for the remaining list?

What your sunsigns say about YOUR EXPECTED BEHAVIOUR AFTER YOU GET DRUNK!!

LIBRA
"I'aam jushtt a shocial drinkerrr," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'aam so damn shocial." Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Frienddevice set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble -including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with every man/woman in the room or even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!

SCORPIO
Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe sauce as something to savor in itself, and not as a personality-altering tool - though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything - especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

SAGITTARIUS
Saggi’s when buttered, will spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, and Anna Nicole Smith?) They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else - like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).

CAPRICORN
Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty. No wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star : independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who're you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hookup with a cute groupie.

AQUARIUS
Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-all-ism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain on stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative - and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist). Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.

PISCES
If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality - with Liz Taylor and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and windup in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know.

So, how true is this, folks?!! Leme know...

Cheers!
Princess