Thursday, May 23

I - IBMer

Hey there!!

Must tell you this before anything else.... I and hubby dearest were just getting ready to sleep (which indicates that we were in bed but I would not finally stop talking for the next half hour or two, with him listening patiently, praying in his heart that I would just doze off mid-sentence).

So, the mad woman that I am, I started singing aloud(not very melodiously) - "Kaan khujaanaa, Kaan khujaanaaaaaaaaaa...."

My adorable husband, always ready to lend me a hand, immediately (and if I may add a little mystified), started scratching my ear, as I continued humming - "Ungliiii ghusodddd ke... Khooooooooooon choos le tu mera khoooooooon choos le, bloody khooni Monday tu mera khoooooooon choos le."

Hubby looks at me non-plussed. A stupid line from a song in Goa Goa Gone was not something he was expecting at Monday midnight.

Never mind...

So, I have completed 3 years at IBM - let me take a bow! The longest tenure yet in my career that started with Optimos (1.5 years as an undergrad), followed by Inlingua (2 years as an Arts graduate), Alchemy (1 year as a Psychology postgrad) and Yellowbox (less than a year - a mistake). Over 8 years of work experience with more than 7 years in the training domain. It's been great - so much learning, so many experiences, a whole lot of exploration externally and within myself...

IBM's been a great employer. I've grown tremendously here as an individual and professional. Got loads of opportunities - a few that came my way and I excelled at, others that I identified and grasped with both hands. From a trainer of executives to an OD trainer to a master trainer coaching new trainers, I've come a long way baby. And there's still so much more to come. I recall I'd said that I would spend at least 5 years at IBM - well, my word is 60% kept. Highs and lows, deceptions and motivations, frustration and joys, making new friends and losing some - scarcely have I missed anything so far. I did miss my dream of being the fastest promoted AM here. I thought I could accomplish this feat in 2 or less than 3 years. My work was on target, but jerks were more successful at their practised shit of screwing good people's happiness. Life...!!!

Too much familiarity breeds contempt - knowing the people and processes here, sometimes things get a little too annoying and unbearable. What and who they are is not the point here. The point is that every company has its own set of factors that are positive and negative. But better a known devil than an unknown one. Or it just a case of not wanting to leave the comfort zone?

I remember a tale that goes like this : A young couple were moving into a new apartment and they went and met one of the neighbours - an old man who lived next door. When they asked him how the people in that building were, he counter questioned, "How were they in your earlier locality?" "Oh horrible!" the woman replied. "Well, they are the same here", responded the old man. Another time another couple went up to him and asked the same question and he asked them the same thing. This young lady said, "They were all sweethearts. It was lovely being there." The old man answered, "They are the same here."

It's not about how other people are. It's about how you are. That's what determines how well you will fare with a set of people or processes.

But something that I recently read on Facebook also makes a lot of sense - Before you disregard yourself as suffering from depression or low self esteem, check and confirm that you're not surrounded by a bunch of assholes... True eh? Birds of a feather flock together. So if you're feeling lonely, it's probably because the rest are a fugly (=fucking ugly) gang.You're better off alone than a member of this horrid kitty. And I am living this motto now. It's pointless to try and fit in when the people around you are not even worth knowing, forget befriending. Find the kind of people that really inspire and adore you, and you admire. Those are the sort of people who matter anyway. Not these bunch of snobbish idiots. They'll never get ahead in life, and they'll keep you down with them. Let them talk behind your back, that's the best position to lick your ass anyway... Which they sooner or later will... Coz ability and sincerity take you ahead in the long run, even if lowly means take you on a short sprint at the outset.

Time to run and rock :-)

Coz rolling stones gather no moss !!


Monday, May 13

Reviews and Gyaan

Hello there!

Watched Go Goa Gone? It's as cool as Delhi Belly, both in terms of language as well as the story. I loved Kunal Khemu's acting though Saif was annoying - to the eyes as well as ears. The movie is funny, and a nice 2 hour pastime. The songs are smartly cut short to suit the fast pace of the plot. Yet I am crazy about Khoon Choos Le and Slowly has nice beats. Go watch GGG if you haven't already. It's an A rated film that I am going to rate 4.5 on 5. Might even watch it again!

I've heard Shootout at Wadala is a fine film as well, but they're all the same to me - Shootout at Lokhandwala, Wadala, Chakala and Khandala... A few item songs with scantily clad girls doing raunchy moves and more than essential violence and dirt. Naah. I'd much rather watch Chhota Bheem and the Throne of Bali or Gippi. Kiddie movies suit me just fine, exactly like my Cotton Candy favorite at Baskin Robbins.

I've turned the last page of Oath of Vayuputras and the book had me bawling towards the end, shan't tell you why if you don't know. Cant give out the spoiler which is the most friggin awesome part of Amish's trilogy. Mannn, what a woman! Sati is incredible. And Shiva is magnificent. Superb writing there, Amish. Well done! I'm hoping the upcoming films on these books live up to the wondrousness as I now embark upon Krishna Key by Ashwin Sanghi. His last book Chanakya Chant seemed quite engaging, but it had me skipping paragraphs and pages midway when it dragged. I'm hoping this one is better, though I have been warned otherwise...

Belated Happy Mother's Day and Akshaya Tritiya by the way! I wish you'all loads of success and happiness in your lives. While my ambition was to lead a happy day this day so that the bliss stayed for eternity, it did not entirely happen that way. My personal motto is "Na kisi ko dukh do, na kisi se dukhi ho" (=Don't let anyone upset you, and don't hurt anyone)... Amen to that!

To take this endeavor ahead, I was just randomly browsing the internet and I came across some videos on YouTube that made a lot of sense to me. Here's what I saw and absorbed from Dan Connor, Susan Fee and others. Hope it helps you and me, too.

When you feel your temper soaring due to something obnoxious that someone has said, here's how you can respond to keep the situation in control:

"That's interesting - Why would you say that? / Why would you do that? / Tell me more / Why would you ask that?"

(While you should make this a part of your verbal repertoire, pls use it judiciously in apt situations. Else the purpose is lost and you just become an arrogant prick.)

Another cute guy on the web said "Focus on Expression, not Impression". Don't bother about making some kind of impact on the audience, instead pay attention to what you are saying. That is often what matters while people are judging you. In any case, you should not bother too much about what people think of you. Coz the more you obsess about it, the more unpleasant and unwelcome you become among them. You cannot please everyone and you should not even aim to! Rather, change your perspective and everything else changes.

The only way to not be criticized is to blend in, to hide. But then, nothing great was achieved this way. Identify what is truly important, and be careful who you seek feedback from else the wrong folks will deflate and de-motivate you. Desensitize yourself and ask the right questions so that you get the suitable answers which help you grow.

Dan Connor from yells too much. I know the loud and shocking factor works for some but it appears fake and pushy to me. Susan Fee, on the other hand, comes across as a very pleasant, intelligent and positive individual. However, both of them said stuff that struck a note with me. Like when Dan said, "Be kind, it's okay not to always be right". Your ego tricks you, and you must chuck it rather than making wrong decisions that you might regret later. Wise words that I know a lot of people can benefit from, but I am also doubly sure that they are not going to be reading this....

Susan Fee spoke about when it is okay to speak and when one should stay silent when dealing with a difficult person. Here's her twopence:

Speak up when:
- silence could be damaging to your or someone's reputation or relation
- you have a clear desired outcome in mind, not just vague philosophies

- the comment is behavior based and a specific change is expected

However, you better be silent when:

- you wish to seek revenge/hurt someone through your words - this might offer a temporary release but it is negative and does not solve anything
- the comment is personality based or talks about universal observations
- you are unwilling to accept responsibility and contribute to the solution - if you want the other person to do 100% and more without chipping in

This does not mean that you bottle up your feelings or clam up. This will work in reverse, as you will start venting one day without any constructive result.

Apart from the above, I also looked up power / danger phrases and emotional vampires. But that is something you might wish to explore on your own if interested.

Time for me to implement what I have gleaned! Have a gorgeous week ahead, guys. Monday blues are blowing away!!



Wednesday, May 8

And we meet again...

And here I am... exactly a month after my last post - a million apologies, peeps. Been unbelievably, ridiculously busy. And if you know me well, you must know that this is not a word I use frivolously like most others. I manage to find time no matter how preoccupied I am. So, if I have genuinely not been able to drop a line, pardon me. But tell me you understand... and that it's all right :-)

Its no surpise that life after marriage gets busier. Now as I complete one year of blessed matrimony, I realise a hundred times over how true that is! A full time job and full time housework afford me absolutely no time to do all the lafantargiri and awaragardi that I used to endlessly engage in earlier. Wake up early in the morning (afternoon, for us MNC night owls), start cooking for the hubby even before you sip a glass of water, have a rushed milk shake for breakfast and then hurriedly pop some bites in your mouth as the awaiting cab threatens to leave without you... Whatta life! But then, coming back home and cuddling with the hubby totally makes up for it. Unless we're bickering, of course. In which case, everything, life included, is a total waste and pain.

I'm filled with a lot of different thoughts and emotions as I write today. The weird bit is not the variety, but the mixed quality of these feelings. While I adore my mum and salute her for all that she has done for me (and keeps doing, of course), yet I get pissed no end when she doesn't listen (physically) or obey (intentionally). It's not just about failing senses, it is also about a person who you care about not realising that their body needs to slow down as it cannot possibly keep pace with the mind and desires. She stresses herself physically and mentally, and I become the villain for pointing this out to her. Darn! Talk about life being contradictory.

My husband... the awesome person that he is... yet there are times when things just get so horribly exasperating! Now, don't for a moment assume that I am being unreasonable and I want a person to be perfect. He already is, in a lot of ways, and that is precisely why I got hitched! The point is he wants me to back off whn we are not together and not bother him by asking him to keep in touch. Really? And then tiny issues get escalated and grrr... And then, there we are again, knowing fully well that neither of us can live without the other.... As if things were never wrong even for a moment...

But never mind that... Such are the ironies of life. The people that you love the most are often the ones that you cant stand or understand.

I am now past midway through the Oaths of the Vayuputras. The book drags in the beginning but soon increases pace. Some parts of it are terrific, and the characters are brilliant. Especially Karthik and Parvateshwar. And the romance between Shiva and Parvati, not to mention... I hope to finish this book soon, and then move on to Krishna Key, a Jeff Arch novel, Manuscript of Accra and the incomplete part of Ravana.

Watched Ek Thi Daayan and loved it... what great acting! Also saw Iron Man 3 (drags in places where you can't see Robert Downey Jr's face) and Bombay Talkies (okay-okay). Been singing Aashiqui 2 songs (Tum Hi Ho) and also Ilahi from Jawaani Deewani something that stars Ranbir and Deepika. Over and out on the entertainment and hobby bit.

Professionally, I am expecting some positive results at work. Have worked hard. The cycle has been set in motion and the bad karma is moving away. It's just a matter of time. High time!

Take care! May the force be with you (and me).

- Princess

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