Sunday, November 8

Toddler Tales


So I saw this hilarious picture on Facebook which spoke about 13 things that toddlers can do which (unfortunate) grown-ups like you and me can't.

Here is the list: 

1. Sleep on 15 pillows and wake up without a neck ache
Damn, this is true! The number of times I've heard myself and others complain about sprains in the neck and waist or an aching arm because somebody did not position themselves ergonomically while dozing! And yet, I observe my little bub sleeping in all possible (and some impossible) positions and then bouncing around like a rubber ball without a hint of any pain anywhere. Wonder where they get this miraculous trait from. Not from me, I am sure, who needs her "just right thickness" pillows and mattress...

2. Wear nothing but underwear and shoes while Grandma is over
And sometimes, not even that. 
Now, that's a bummer. 
I am not the dressy types, and there is nothing I hate more than getting dressed up AND then sitting at home. Home = PJ and sloppy tshirt venue. So when someone comes calling, and especially if it is a crabby relative, then to smear the sindoor a few more centimetres and put on bangles and bindis becomes a Herculean task. And then you get admonished for forgetting to wear the bicchiya (toe ring). Grrrrr! 

3. Look cool wearing a cape
My bub can carry off anything and look like a superstar. He is indeed handsome and cute, though I know all kids qualify as pretty. My panchamrit and coconut water guzzling paid off as Aarush was born with flawless skin that he did not inherit from his parents. And of course, he's got me to dress him up with the right sense and coordination. But come to think of it, even if these things were absent, he would look just as amazing wearing anything (or nothing, which is what is quite a few times). Not a feat you or I 

4. Eat the same food for all meals for 3 weeks
I CANNOT and I mean really can not eat the same food even the second time, which is why you will rarely find leftovers in my kitchen. I call the cooked food "stale" and even if it were freshly prepared for each meal, I would be oggling my eyes at the chef demanding an explanation for the lack of variety, planning and creativity. Kids, well, you know how they are. When the bhindi craze starts, it's bhindi morning noon and night and for the next 3 days. My son is not in that zone yet, but I do repeat food items every 2-3 days and he is okay to gobble it down with pleasure. 

5. Demand an audience while pooping

Ahem. I'm not averse to poop talk, having been subjected to it by a very enthusiastic pop and bro at all times including meals. But my son sure takes the cake. He'll actually look me in the eyes and make those painful faces as he deposits the dump. Very pretty sight, I assure you. (Go on, imagine it, why should I have all the fun alone?! LOL)  

6. Tell strangers the truth about their appearance
Aarush does not talk, like actually talk, yet. But I am in no doubt about his candor despite his tender age. (Takes after his mother, who is you cannot even call mild or diplomatic euphemistically.) He is very upfront about who he likes and what he wants at any given point in time, which changes the very next second. So, well... This remains to be seen. 

7. Assemble people to perform a song you just made up
Oh boy, does the bub enjoy attention! He laps it up as he dances, acts cute, comes to be petted and cuddled, and walks up indulgently to bestow a few kisses on you on his own (or requested) accord. This is something kids need not be taught, but we should actually learn. Blowing your own trumpet, and dancing on the tune too. Laughs galore. His intelligence and curiosity have us spellbound already, so here's raising a toast to Einstein in the making!

8. Fit entire body in the bath tub
This is too painful, and hence I shall not talk about it. I've been struggling to do this for years. Not just because I am a blessed 5 feet 7 inches, but even when I was shorter. The knees pop out, and the neck feels cold, and then the legs... No no, let's move on. 

9. Inspire gushing praise for something ridiculous
Read point 7. But this is important, mind you. Appreciating and reinforcing good stuff is critical for development physically, mentally and emotionally. NEVER and I stress on never, ignore your kid. Or anyone for that matter. No matter how silly or atrocious, give feedback so that the child continues or stops doing whatever. Don't treat them like kids in this regard, or they will always remain childish and embarass/harass/annoy adults when they grow up (physically).

10. Completely fill your phone memory with nostril selfies in a few minutes
So the cute baby isn't a year old yet, but you should see the way his fingers cruise on the phone/laptop screen. He goes tap-tap-tap better than his parents even at this age. 21st century kids, I tell ya. Let's just say he learnt it in his mom's womb. He knows when the phone is locked, and asks for it to be unlocked. He wants to handle the phone when his videos are playing and interact with the images on the screen. It's mindblowing. And irritating, too. Go play with your toys mister, and leave mine alone. (And there is goes, crashing...)

11. Sleep sideways across the bed
I don't know how or why, but these tiny tots take up complete place on the enormous bed. I am always precariously perched at the edge every morning, as the little one moves 180 degrees and then another few angles every few minutes. Not that I need a bump or two, but I probably should brace myself for a couple of robust kicks that land me closer to the ground once he grows a few centimeters and months.  

12. Get an extra cookie from the sample lady just because you're cute
Oh yes. Sometimes it's a kiwi. Sometimes it's something trashy like empty tumblers and spoons. But he always manages to walk out with something that has caught his fancy and people generously (or helplessly) offer. I'm thinking of visiting a couple of jewelry shops soon, come Diwali. 

13. Get super excited about grocery shopping
Not at that age yet. Dreading it. Thank god for online shopping that can be done at office or while the devil is blissfully asleep.

... And that's about it!

More stories another day. 

Keep smiling, dearies :-)


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