Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker

Monday, December 12

Almost the new year... and yet the same old


The year has gone by real fast, as I've undoubtedly mentioned a hundred times before :-) 

And I look back to see how I've fared, managed to accomplish a fair bit as a mother and professional, and tried to be a better friend, wife, daughter, etc. Evaluating my success on these criteria is outside the scope of this post, and my head, so let me look at how I'm feeling at the end of it. 

Working moms like me, how are you doing? 

I often end up feeling like I'm missing on so many things in life choosing to juggle my home and office work. The financial and intellectual independence that my job affords me takes its toll on my social presence and connects. I look at womenfolk in my apartment mingling with each other and talking non stop about issues that I cannot make head or tail of, since their conversation started in the kitty last week and will (hopefully) find a resolution by the kids play date the following week. Try as I might, I can't hold a complete conversation with them, because our lives are so different and so are the priorities and recreation. 

When I ask myself, do I really want to sit with them every afternoon gossiping over a cup of chai? The answer is no, but what sometimes makes me feel a tad disappointed is that I don't have opportunities to have many adult conversations once I'm off work. You either are a working mom with no social life in the evenings, or you're a housewife mom with loads of time with other women of the same clan keeping you company. I'm sure each category has their own cribs and benefits. I'm not passing judgements on anyone, just making my voice heard about how it feels to not have a chance. 

Apparently, they can't shift their get togethers to a more comfortable time for us professionals since they need to be home with their families, and that makes sense. But a little adjustment on both sides, well, that could do the trick and give us all a fair exposure to understand each other better and form firm friendships, at least given the physical proximity.

I keep waiting for weekends to do something different, spend time with the man and catch up with friends. Something I am sure all women (working or homebodies) experience. Of course, there are the independent ones that make things happen for themselves and don't need anyone else to get the ball rolling...

But for us who await weekends to be with family - A tough task since the home chores and shopping beckons, the man has official offsites over weekends, and friends (who are mostly in other social groups, unmarried or kid-free) have their own plans. Moms like me, do you also feel the pinch? 

I keep telling myself this is only for a short while. 

Aarush will be grown up soon and then I can start with my own social commitments, but wont it be too late then? People will already have moved on, and I will be stuck. 

I tried connecting with a few groups on FB and WhatsApp which was like a mom-connect. Disengaged myself the very next day. I was looking for some meaningful conversation, plan some get togethers with kids and feel more included and enriched. But what do they do there? Share random pictures of themselves and their families, discuss nonsense nonstop so that working moms open their phones and see 474 unread pings which are absolute crap...

No win win solution, is there?

Maybe I'm the odd one out. 

Maybe this is the time I need to only focus on what my job, family and kid wants of me, and then there will be a time when I can live for myself. 


Until then...

Back to routine. The job, a few books and movies, random surprises and plans which actually work out.


Asta La Vista

Goodbye, Abba - You shall be missed

Subhash R Rathi. A man of umpteen roles and talents. He was a son, brother, husband, uncle, grandfather, partner, colleague, friend, advisor...