Lost in Transition

It’s funny when two people love each other, and still can’t seem to lead a happy life together. So many things get in the way – lifestyle, routine, habits, preferences, expectations, desires, prejudices, anxieties and apprehensions…

When I came across this couple, I was really not sure if they were right for each other. Strange are the ways of fate. They fell in love not so long ago, and they seem to be going strong in spirit, even though their daily life is a far cry from blissful and ideal.

His idea of leading a good life is letting each one have his own way and not complaining. Hers is about living each moment together and being one in every way possible. When her philosophy intrudes upon his, she is upset and this, he handles, by cracking silly jokes in a bid to avoid an argument. No points for guessing that the outcome is the exact opposite.

How do I know? She told me.

And she also said what follows… albeit not in the same words…

(This is for you, sweetie… I know how you feel… Don’t worry. Things will be ok, whatever destiny has in store for you and him.)

How do I know? HE told me. The one above :-)

How right is it I wonder; with you around me, I still feel so forlorn.
How right is it – this loneliness of the mind and soul…
Is this how it’s meant to be?

I am so livid; you just don’t seem to understand...
When the one person who should know what I feel,
Stares back at me asking “What’s wrong with you?”

Stop telling me you’re smart and perfect; you’re not.
You are intelligent, and that’s why I am with you…
There’s no need for you to prove it every half hour.

I look at you and see a person so beautiful and wise.
Why then does the splendour turn a shade dull and bright in turns?
I feel like I mean nothing, and yet I know you love me much.

I don’t know what to do, to avoid or to pursue.
If I do the latter, I know you get frustrated.
And if I do the former, I’ll loom in the distance and keep you at bay.

You behave self-sufficient, you critique in ways shockingly mean.
Why do you not believe that I am a part of you?
You can let your guard down, it’s ok; it’s just me, the one you love…

We kicked this off with a smile, and commenced our journey of faith.
Why then do I feel it dwindling – your words have a million unintended meanings.
I’m lost, confused; I don’t know what’s happening within your mind and mine.

I know our life could be divine, if only we’d will it to be,
I see the flame inside you that could light up my life like a thousand torches.
Yet I see that you’re curbing it, not trying hard enough, I wish I knew why.

Is this what you want - this remoteness that makes you feel free and in-charge?
Am I still a choice that you’ve not completely made?
Coz I think that way… I feel that way… And I hate it.

I could keep pushing this turmoil, we could pretend that everything’s fine.
But is it? How right is it – this procrastination and hypocrisy?
Is this how it’s meant to be?

Help me…
Help me help you…
Coz I love you, and I don’t wana go away…

- Princess