Reviews and Gyaan

Hello there!

Watched Go Goa Gone? It's as cool as Delhi Belly, both in terms of language as well as the story. I loved Kunal Khemu's acting though Saif was annoying - to the eyes as well as ears. The movie is funny, and a nice 2 hour pastime. The songs are smartly cut short to suit the fast pace of the plot. Yet I am crazy about Khoon Choos Le and Slowly has nice beats. Go watch GGG if you haven't already. It's an A rated film that I am going to rate 4.5 on 5. Might even watch it again!

I've heard Shootout at Wadala is a fine film as well, but they're all the same to me - Shootout at Lokhandwala, Wadala, Chakala and Khandala... A few item songs with scantily clad girls doing raunchy moves and more than essential violence and dirt. Naah. I'd much rather watch Chhota Bheem and the Throne of Bali or Gippi. Kiddie movies suit me just fine, exactly like my Cotton Candy favorite at Baskin Robbins.

I've turned the last page of Oath of Vayuputras and the book had me bawling towards the end, shan't tell you why if you don't know. Cant give out the spoiler which is the most friggin awesome part of Amish's trilogy. Mannn, what a woman! Sati is incredible. And Shiva is magnificent. Superb writing there, Amish. Well done! I'm hoping the upcoming films on these books live up to the wondrousness as I now embark upon Krishna Key by Ashwin Sanghi. His last book Chanakya Chant seemed quite engaging, but it had me skipping paragraphs and pages midway when it dragged. I'm hoping this one is better, though I have been warned otherwise...

Belated Happy Mother's Day and Akshaya Tritiya by the way! I wish you'all loads of success and happiness in your lives. While my ambition was to lead a happy day this day so that the bliss stayed for eternity, it did not entirely happen that way. My personal motto is "Na kisi ko dukh do, na kisi se dukhi ho" (=Don't let anyone upset you, and don't hurt anyone)... Amen to that!

To take this endeavor ahead, I was just randomly browsing the internet and I came across some videos on YouTube that made a lot of sense to me. Here's what I saw and absorbed from Dan Connor, Susan Fee and others. Hope it helps you and me, too.

When you feel your temper soaring due to something obnoxious that someone has said, here's how you can respond to keep the situation in control:

"That's interesting - Why would you say that? / Why would you do that? / Tell me more / Why would you ask that?"

(While you should make this a part of your verbal repertoire, pls use it judiciously in apt situations. Else the purpose is lost and you just become an arrogant prick.)

Another cute guy on the web said "Focus on Expression, not Impression". Don't bother about making some kind of impact on the audience, instead pay attention to what you are saying. That is often what matters while people are judging you. In any case, you should not bother too much about what people think of you. Coz the more you obsess about it, the more unpleasant and unwelcome you become among them. You cannot please everyone and you should not even aim to! Rather, change your perspective and everything else changes.

The only way to not be criticized is to blend in, to hide. But then, nothing great was achieved this way. Identify what is truly important, and be careful who you seek feedback from else the wrong folks will deflate and de-motivate you. Desensitize yourself and ask the right questions so that you get the suitable answers which help you grow.


Dan Connor from powerdiversity.com yells too much. I know the loud and shocking factor works for some but it appears fake and pushy to me. Susan Fee, on the other hand, comes across as a very pleasant, intelligent and positive individual. However, both of them said stuff that struck a note with me. Like when Dan said, "Be kind, it's okay not to always be right". Your ego tricks you, and you must chuck it rather than making wrong decisions that you might regret later. Wise words that I know a lot of people can benefit from, but I am also doubly sure that they are not going to be reading this....

Susan Fee spoke about when it is okay to speak and when one should stay silent when dealing with a difficult person. Here's her twopence:

Speak up when:
- silence could be damaging to your or someone's reputation or relation
- you have a clear desired outcome in mind, not just vague philosophies

- the comment is behavior based and a specific change is expected

However, you better be silent when:

- you wish to seek revenge/hurt someone through your words - this might offer a temporary release but it is negative and does not solve anything
- the comment is personality based or talks about universal observations
- you are unwilling to accept responsibility and contribute to the solution - if you want the other person to do 100% and more without chipping in

This does not mean that you bottle up your feelings or clam up. This will work in reverse, as you will start venting one day without any constructive result.

Apart from the above, I also looked up power / danger phrases and emotional vampires. But that is something you might wish to explore on your own if interested.

Time for me to implement what I have gleaned! Have a gorgeous week ahead, guys. Monday blues are blowing away!!


Cheerio!

Princess

And we meet again...

And here I am... exactly a month after my last post - a million apologies, peeps. Been unbelievably, ridiculously busy. And if you know me well, you must know that this is not a word I use frivolously like most others. I manage to find time no matter how preoccupied I am. So, if I have genuinely not been able to drop a line, pardon me. But tell me you understand... and that it's all right :-)

Its no surpise that life after marriage gets busier. Now as I complete one year of blessed matrimony, I realise a hundred times over how true that is! A full time job and full time housework afford me absolutely no time to do all the lafantargiri and awaragardi that I used to endlessly engage in earlier. Wake up early in the morning (afternoon, for us MNC night owls), start cooking for the hubby even before you sip a glass of water, have a rushed milk shake for breakfast and then hurriedly pop some bites in your mouth as the awaiting cab threatens to leave without you... Whatta life! But then, coming back home and cuddling with the hubby totally makes up for it. Unless we're bickering, of course. In which case, everything, life included, is a total waste and pain.

I'm filled with a lot of different thoughts and emotions as I write today. The weird bit is not the variety, but the mixed quality of these feelings. While I adore my mum and salute her for all that she has done for me (and keeps doing, of course), yet I get pissed no end when she doesn't listen (physically) or obey (intentionally). It's not just about failing senses, it is also about a person who you care about not realising that their body needs to slow down as it cannot possibly keep pace with the mind and desires. She stresses herself physically and mentally, and I become the villain for pointing this out to her. Darn! Talk about life being contradictory.


My husband... the awesome person that he is... yet there are times when things just get so horribly exasperating! Now, don't for a moment assume that I am being unreasonable and I want a person to be perfect. He already is, in a lot of ways, and that is precisely why I got hitched! The point is he wants me to back off whn we are not together and not bother him by asking him to keep in touch. Really? And then tiny issues get escalated and grrr... And then, there we are again, knowing fully well that neither of us can live without the other.... As if things were never wrong even for a moment...


But never mind that... Such are the ironies of life. The people that you love the most are often the ones that you cant stand or understand.


I am now past midway through the Oaths of the Vayuputras. The book drags in the beginning but soon increases pace. Some parts of it are terrific, and the characters are brilliant. Especially Karthik and Parvateshwar. And the romance between Shiva and Parvati, not to mention... I hope to finish this book soon, and then move on to Krishna Key, a Jeff Arch novel, Manuscript of Accra and the incomplete part of Ravana.


Watched Ek Thi Daayan and loved it... what great acting! Also saw Iron Man 3 (drags in places where you can't see Robert Downey Jr's face) and Bombay Talkies (okay-okay). Been singing Aashiqui 2 songs (Tum Hi Ho) and also Ilahi from Jawaani Deewani something that stars Ranbir and Deepika. Over and out on the entertainment and hobby bit.


Professionally, I am expecting some positive results at work. Have worked hard. The cycle has been set in motion and the bad karma is moving away. It's just a matter of time. High time!


Take care! May the force be with you (and me).


- Princess 

Experiences...

Hello there!

How are all you lovely people doing? I hope you had a colourful Holi and a marvellous Easter :-)


They say what you deserve comes to you, even if it comes late. It is hard to believe this when you do all the good possible in the world and then you are rewarded with loss and frustration. I have been down in the dumps for as long as I can remember owing to certain complications at work and outside. But der aaye durust aaye. Things are looking up now. And as you are my trusted well-wishers, I do hope aap log nazar nahi lagayenge!!


My husband has been pampering me no end. But we've also had some horrid moments. Turns out life isnt all hunky dory if you marry a person of your choice... LOL. In the end, it all boils down to adjustment and tolerance. The fact that count is that we cannot live without each other. And equally true is that we make life horrible and beautiful for each other. Part of the deal...

Appreciation has been flowing in at work. Better late than never. It's been 3 years and I thought I would be the first one in history to get promoted in record time. But time takes its course and seems like my due will be meted out to me soon. Been very busy and working very hard, so its only fair! But then, whoever is part of the corporate world or even the human world for that matter knows that fairness is a myth.


My parents love me to bits. They all do. Its a wonder how. Given the pathetic ways we treat and hurt them. They're angels, man. I feel so awful when I hurt them. But then, I forget that when I think they're acting nutty... The cycle continues, love you loads guys.... I do hope you know that despite my sick behavior.


Life's good. I hit the spa pretty regularly since my Four Fountains membership is about to expire soon. Going again tomorrow. Gudi Padwa custom! Hehe...


I stay impossibly busy these days having taken up a lot of new challenges personally and professionally. It's great. I also seem to be sleeping better despite all my zillion engagements. All in all, the uphill tasks seem to be done. Hope to carry the zest and success with me for a considerable time to come.

The Bollywood movie Himmatwala and Dia wine effectively ruined my long Easter weekend, but I watched G.I.Joe in 3D so that kinda killed the bad taste in the mouth. It did not however end up as marvelous an experience as my hubby led me to expect, as the person next to me was stinking worse than an open gutter. Talk about a horrid smell in the nose... Himmatwala was a torture and I shall forgive my darling dad for recommending it in the first place, but I cannot forgive Dia for being such a sickeningly sweet drink. I shall go the beer and red wine way the next time I feel like getting high and happy, thank you very much.


Lemme tell you more about the book I've been reading recently - Spicy Bites of Biryani by Ashwina Garg.


The cover of the book looked like your typical chic flick novel and the title was likewise. However, I was in for a surprise when the book turned out to be a refreshing read. The characters are real and the story is smart. You can easily relate to what the protagonists feel, and I found myself identifying with each one of them in their nightmares and joys. I especially loved the chemistry between Aditi and Sanjay, they are so different and yet their scenes together are fun and sizzling. Even the sensual bits are tastefully described. Aditi a little deviant, Sanjay a workaholic. Jayshree wanting to invite a little excitement in their life yet afraid to go the entire Mayank way.


Emotional scenes where serendipity struck more than a few times - how despite being together people stray in a relationship as they do not get enough attention and time from their partner, warding off boredom by means of something novel even if its not socially or personally acceptable, the concept of space and boundaries in a relationship, feeling helpless though intent and effort is right, men comfy in their unkempt skin while ladies obsess even if they look like fairies, envy and insecurity even if person publicly and formally your own....


Being an English virtuoso, I could not miss the typos and grammatical glitches, but thankfully they were few and insignificant. The drama quotient is upped a few notches towards the end, and while it is not innovative, it is what flows naturally.

I might be toeing the line here but I will go as far as to say that I liked reading this one better than Ravana, Oath of Vayuputras (Shiva trilogy by Amish) and Chanakya Chant. Writers these days are very talented and intelligent, but most of them cannot prevent the story from dragging. In my opinion, that is the biggest roadblock for Indian writers. Talk about Jeffrey Archer whose Clifton chronicles is about to unleash its third wave, or all those courtroom and thriller writing authors - they all have such a grip on the reader's mind that he cannot relax until the last page has been turned. What finesse! What genius! Got loads to learn, rising Indian stars.


Professionalism and customer service in India have a long way to go as well. My husband is battling with Kotak Mahindra while I am locking horns with Reliance Internet over pathetic service and unacceptable customer care. Hardly had I typed this, when Airtel decided to join the bandwagon with their ridiculour security checks and unwillingness to help. So much so, that they disconnect calls when they cannot help or you wont accept their word. So much time and money wasted. Not to mention frustration and irritation. But finally what can we do about it? Nothing. This is India after all... Customers are a pain in the a$$ here.


About the LBT - Local Body Tax or something... I'm so done with this strike in Pune that began over 2 weeks ago. Whoever applies the tax and whoever pays it, it is only burning a hole in the consumer's pocket. So why all the drama? We were mute when petrol prices were hiked and we will be helpless when they raise costs of other commodities. So why this chaos? What difference does it make to anybody else really? We're at the losing end no matter what... If only they'd tax Sharad Pawar, Vijay Mallya and other millionaires, everybody else would be spared.

That's about it for now...


Wait. Before I sign out, I must share this.... A trainee at work met with an accident and he is no more. I am shocked with this news, and it serves to remind us that life is unpredictable. Be the best you can be and live life to the fullest. Don't regret and don't hurt anyone. Make this a wonderful memory that you and everyone else remembers with bliss.


Until we meet next...



Cheerio!

Princess  

No Alvida's

He got into the lift just as she was about to close the door.

She had thought about this moment several times in the past month, but fortunately or unfortunately, it had never occurred before today.


She had moved into the massive corporate complex at HWG Corp and she knew that sooner or later they would bump into each other. Her ex had been with the same company for the last 7 years and she knew he worked at the same site as the one she had been posted to.


They looked at each other for a brief second and then looked away. Neither knew what to say or think. Having dated for 5 years, they definitely had "something" between them and ignoring was way too rude. Yet, now that they were both married, too much conversation was inappropriate. Civil was the way to go.

"Hi", he said shyly, before she could say anything. She recalled that he had always been shy and polite. Even when he was wooing her, she had not figured it out until well over 5 months later.


"Hey, how are you?", she replied. She really wanted to know, they hadn't spoken in ages...


"Good. And how is married life?"

He knew she was married. Hmm. Did that mean anything? She decided not to think about that too much.


"Great."

He keeps telling me he loves me, but I don't feel very loved most of the times... is what she actually wanted to say. But then, everyone knew that these conversation starters were not meant to be taken literally. "Good" and "great" were the only responses one was looking for when they enquired.


She looked at him carefully, taking care not to stare. He was wearing a checked shirt of his favorite color blue. His face looked chubbier than before, but everything else looked the same - his big sparkling eyes, his upturned nose, his wide smile and hesitant body language...


"So, how's work?" She asked him casually.


"Good. Are you still with Global Wiz?"

"No, I have joined HWG. It's been a month."


"That's great. You will like it here."


"I hope so. Thanks!"


Such inane chats were never her forte. Nor his. They had long conversations earlier where he told her about the world she knew nothing about - business, economy, GK, and the like. And she told him about nightlife, latest trends, astrology and gaming. Soon their conversations dwindled. While he pampered her and loved her more than his life, she realised there was a generation gap between them that they would never be able to bridge. When she had expressed a desire to move on with their lives separately, he had lashed out and pleaded in turns. But just as destiny had brought them together without warning, it flung them apart in a jiffy. He had gone on to get married to a girl within his caste. She had found her heart and soul in a guy that she had recently got hitched to.

As this history flashed in her mind, she noticed that the floors weren't changing. The lift was stuck! A complex like HWG and a power cut? No way!!


He pressed the alarm button calmly and smiled at her to reassure her. A bell rang to signal that there were people in distress.


Some things never change - he was still as gracious and responsible as always.


The light came back on and the lift started moving. What the hell was she thinking? This wasn't a movie where stalled lifts gave way to romantic encounters and out of the blue realizations about hidden emotions.


Her floor arrived. She got off gingerly and looked back to say bye. He was already looking at his mobile and just as he was about to dial a number, he looked up and saw the doors closing.


Sometimes, its better not to say bye. Who knows when we will meet again....  

- Princess

Experienced Wife Snippets

Here's how you women can make your marital life perfect...

This is that one-off time when I am not going to "lecture" the men but actually address the women... Coz advice given to the males always is forgotten / ignored / misunderstood / criticized...

(All ears now, aren't you, men and boys?)

I am now going to jot this down for the benefit of the females who I expect will be more open and intelligent in putting these lessons into practice. After all, they are the ones that truly need help despite the fact that they are often judged to be at fault when marital bliss is absent between spouses.


Here is my two pence, hope it makes your married life easier...


- Do not expect your man to be the same guy who doted on you and did not let you do a thing, who called or texted you every few minutes / hours, who made you feel like a queen in every way you imagined and dreamed. "Ghar ki murgi daal barabar" is no misconception. The girlfriend who was earlier available only for a few hours a day now becomes visible and approachable 24 hours a day. Obviously there will be repercussions. Be prepared to be involuntarily forgotten or purposefully ignored. TV and gaming will score over you in a list of priorities. There is nothing you can do about it. The first few times if you crib, he will keep it away. Soon, he will stop caring and it will become routine. You have to adjust to and accept your diminished value in his life. You are now expendable since you tied the knot with him. Had he still been pursuing you, you could have wrung him around your little finger. Your loss.


- He married you for convenience first and love later. Maybe you were his best bet or he was just forced into conjugal life. Either way he will still expect you to run the house and do all the chores. If you cannot, hire a maid but do not make his life miserable by requesting help or discipline. No matter if you have a job and earn more, house work will always be the woman's duty and the man will find it beneath him to do these tasks. If he does put the clothes in the washing machine and if he does keep things in their correct places, it is a favour he is doing on you. You might have lived like a princess in your house, but you're married now and that's not his problem. Gear up to hear this each time he folds his quilt - "I do everything I can for you".


- It is okay if he abuses and yells, but you cannot as much as wag a finger at him. Male chauvinists, the bunch of them. They want to threaten you and scare you. They will try to dominate you and show their manhood. If you accept it gracefully, then bless you. If not, the house will echo with screams and choicest words that will resound in your memory until the day you quit (the relation or this life).


- Be thankful for every tiny and every single thing he bestows on you. He wants to feel like a king all the time and be appreciated and respected. So what if he makes you feel like a total mess and a loser? If you are angry, calm down yourself coz no way was he at fault. But if his mood is screwed, you are definitely to blame. Your hurt and disappointment are due to your own expectations. If he actually takes the pains to please you, you ought to feel lucky and grateful. He cannot be held responsible for your needs and peace. All he wants is a happy or silent household. Do not voice your worries or sorrows. Just be quiet and deal with it yourself. Nobody else cares anyway.

- No matter how much you love him and how much he loves you, he needs his space. He cannot deal with being hounded and accompanied all the time. Don't keep waiting for him to text or call or ping you. You do it if you want. Or... The best way to handle this is to identify some time mutually when he can revel with his dumbbells, PSP and cell phone and whatever else. Let him bask in his own space for awhile and do not expect him to even remember you exist. It's not that bad really, you get time out for yourself as well... And as I read by Rori Raye - you could be pushing him away by chasing him... Give him a chance to miss you. Which means leave him alone now and then. Do not take care of everything. Do not plan all the time. Take things as they come. Do not be his mother. Let him be... and he will come looking for you with greater love and affection.

***


Sounds pretty nasty, innit? Cynical, realistic, bitter or pessimistic - whatever you call it. These tips will help you survive if you are like me. If you aren't, well you're more self actualized and I need to learn from you.

As the oft repeated sentence goes, "Shaadi wo laddoo hai, jo khaye pachhtaye, jo na khaye wo pachhtaye."


Ain't bad all the time, of course. But then, who needs advice when the going is good?


Good luck with your spouses.



- (was) Princess