Thursday, June 26

Portentous Bliss

Blessed r d ppl who cry
They hav tears dat cooperate,
Sum1 I know bleeds wid pain
Yet cant vent d hurt inflictd by fate…

To b weak is a strength
Dat softens minds wicked,
D wise and mature suffer
For not bein dumb and crooked.

She’s lonely in crowd
Her joys wrapd in a shroud,
She sings herself to sleep
And her day ends wid a tearless weep…

“Happy? Of curz m happy!”
She nods her head and squeals;
But ask her deep inside,
How content she feels…

A shrug and silent sigh
Betray her depresin unrest,
D very folks she lives for,
Are those dat hurt her best.

“Where do I err?” she murmurs
“Where am I so wrong?”
Days tumble into each other,
As she wonders all night long.

Each second she yearns for luv,
Each second she grows desperate;
Blessed r d ppl who cry
They hav tears dat cooperate…
- Lonely Princess

Wednesday, June 25

Shantaram – II

Bac again… Not an entirely pleasant experience dis time coz Shantaram’s taken an evil, ugly, gory turn. D violence in jail dat Lin endures is horrific, n I cringed each time I read abt d police’s mental and physical brutalities. Plus thrs a lot of economics and black market specifics; as readers of my blog kno, I hate technical details. In fact, I hate details! Explanations n justifications r my pet hate, except whn m givin my side of d case ;-)

Well, thrs dis segment on sufferin dat I found very engaging. A topic largely thot abt and very wel spoken on, d book stil manages to deliver sum punches in d form of one-liners and explanatory sermons. Here’s a few o thm… sum wid my wisecracks, and d rest betr widout it ;-)

- Is suffering what is done to you or what’s taken away frm u? Come to think o it, its both, what in psychology is termed punishment and negative reinforcement respectively. In my opinion, the latter is worse, coz it’s less vivid, more subtle and more frustratin…

- Suffering is a matter of choice. U axpt, mebe even invite suffering… for reasons varied. To look superior or to exploit ur inferiority. To test urself or to judge others around u. To prove ur able, dat u can laugh whr odrs cry … Jus like wat I said d last time ppl affectin u n ur emotions… coz u choose to let thm… Pity my “no-expectations” resolution is still in d dumps…

- How would u know real sufferin unless u’v known pleasure? Nuthin is ever sacrificed until u hav it and thn give it away… BY CHOICE… hai na? D same point was once said to me by Ammi - dats my aunt for those who duno. (No m nt Muslim, but we call her husband Abba, and y Abba I’ll tel u sm other time.) Anyway, I dno whether dis was her brainchild, coz she’s read Shantaram, too. She certainly deserves credit for this thot tho - young saints and bacha sadhus – dressed in white, d world admires their renunciation of worldly pleasures, but do they really know what they’r givin up? Then how can u cheer thm for their sacrifice? Quite a philosophical family I got na… For betr or for worse ;-)

- V hav all believd since times ancient dat sin and suffering r related; those who do evil suffer for d bads they’v done. But wat do u observ in real life? I cant help noticing dat it is actually d good folks who bear d burden of tears and pain while d goondas enjoy life… d only solace is dat they will b repaid at a later date… Good to hear, hard to abide. However experience tells me dat watver u do now wil b compensated soon… if u hurt sum1, ur gona get it bac in an apt way suitable for u. and if u do gud, none can stop u frm smiling even in grave circumstances… So lead d way angels!

Enuf on dat. Time for luv ;-) One tires of hearin n talking n feelin abt dis emotion, d most commercial, expressable and universal of d lot. The book dsnt linger too long on it thankfully. However, evry few pages, u can c Lin sharing his feelins and his inexplicable luv for Karla, who comes across as a confident young woman, seductive coz of her courage, assertiveness and independence. No book for adults is complete widout sex and lust, and u’v a few miniscule episodes scattered here n thr, fortunately nt stretchd and overexaggerated… Anyways, bac to d interesting anecdotes and lines…

- Sometimes u luv wid nuthin mo dan hope, and sometimes u cry wid evrythin except tears… nw dats a beautiful line, aint it? I cried out al my tears last yr and havin none left, I tackle thins dat hurt me dreadfully by soothing my chipd n wounded heart… d heart has been made to break, and ppl cant live widout hurtin or bein hurt. Cynical, bt true. Period.

- On a more positive note : The author says, luv wasn’t inventd in India bt it was certainly perfectd here. I mean come to think o it, our box office is strewn wid romance and tragedies. Tho v claim dat luv’s a western concept, v hav given it d real status it deserves and now holds… Cheers Hindustani! Keep luvin… It’s wats keeping us alive n together…

- Ppl u luv, wud u luv thm if they wer powerless and poor? (No comments here. This is for each one of to ruminate and accept. An interesting exercise wud b to enumerate all of d qualities in ur luvd ones – gud or bad - coz v sumtimes luv ppl for their bad qualities, and then subtract thm one by one. Do it in solitude, and see life n luv anew…)

- 3 punch-lines : 1. Sum ppl sho their luv and affection by putting odrs down. They dnt mean to, bt its jus their way…2. Romantic luv trusts and believes in d constancy of anodr human heart, and 3. To live is to love, and to love is to forgive…

And here’s my own thot - U tend to love d ppl who need u… Your parents, your lover, your best friend … They all want you and they tell you so, directly or implicitly, and dat is y u luv thm… Na?

Of curz thr r a thousand other thins dat evoked a nod from me, n given my reading is jus abt 50% complt, m sure to come bac to u wid a sequel for dis post, too…

Until then, m ok n hope ur ok...
Still readin,
Lonely Princess

Wednesday, June 18

Aeeeee Shantaraaaamm...

Some men are born gr8, others hav gr8ness thrust upon thm. Find ur moment…
– Night at d museum (Hollywood movie starring Ben Stiller )

(Dubbed in Hindi and called “”Museum ke andar fas gaya Sikander” (… so much for innovativeness!)

How you doin ppl? Feels nice eh wid d sun shinin away to glory… some respite frm d fury o d rains… I'v recently joind as an Associate Consultant at Alchemy Mngt. Consultancy Pvt. Ltd. My first full-time day job aftr MA... so far so gud, but hopin tons for d future!

Here’s wat I promisd u d last time – excerpts and (like it or not) my comments on Shantaram, a book by Gregory David Roberts. Aftr havin putting off reading d book (or “Purana” is a betr name, considerin d 930+ pages in d book) for a long time, d critics and my pet bookseller finally managed to convince me to start dis epic. M glad… d book is an amazing read, d language cute, d observations about life and people profound yet lucid (even d parts whr d Indian Hinglish version is writn)… it includes all of India’s potty obsessions and abusive conversations. So, nosing thru dis saga hasn’t been too soporific… Touch wood! Hope it dsnt leme down at d end like JefArch’s POB…

I was tryin to figure out what exactly the foundation of the book was, y it was named Shantaram whn d protagonist is cald Lin (aka Linbaba), and I almost tore my hair whn after ploughin thru a 130-odd pages, dis mystery stil remain unsolvd. Jus like all gud thins in life come aftr delay, d author revealed the secret around the 137th-8th page… It’s coz d protagonist goes to the village and ppl thr christen him Shantaram!

The book is streakd wid a million deep thots and brilliant observations. I luvd sum sentences and ramblings so much dat I had to tear myself away frm d paragraphs n jot d lines down so I cud appreciate their wisdom long aftr I’v read thm in print. And for those who luv intrstg tales bt cant find d time, patience and inclination to read this Mahapurana for themselves, this’s your savior, Anuja…

I deserve smthin for bringin u free knowledge and sensibility, dnt I?! So read my annotations and enlighten urslf patient netsurfer… However, leme warn u at d onset : thr might be a different way I perceive and interpret thins so dnt take all I say on face value, use ur grey cells at least a bit buddies! ;-) Here u go!

- Luv is a sinking lifeboat. You try ur best to keep it afloat; you throw ur pride out, then your self-respect and then your freedom, but u c it’s still sinking so you throw your friends and family out. Everybody. Evrythin. And lo! You’re still sinking…

- Being with a good listener is the second best thin in the world. What’s the first? No, not sex. It’s power. If you take away the biological aspect of it, sex is nothing but power. Love is the opposite of power. That is why we fear it so much…

- Indians have a lot of love in them, that is why they can survive together. India is 6 times the size of France, but has 20 times the population. We know the French to be the most civilized people in the world, yet there would be rivers of blood if they were crammed together in such a small area. Indians certainly are a patient, loving and lovable community! Remarkable, eh! ;-) We nudge and push and scratch and abuse when we are tryin to get on board a train, yet we promptly bend down to apologize by touching a stranger’s leg when we accidentally step on his foot! Wat an irony!

- Even with the purest intentions, we end up making things worse when we are actually trying to do our best to make things better. Every1 has a mission in life, we have all come here to play our roles and do what He bade us to do. It is good to know what is wrong with the world. But sometimes, no matter how wrong it is, you cant change it. A lot of the bad stuff in the world wasn’t that bad until someone tried to change it. Think abt wat happens whn v visit zoos and wildlife parks. V feed d animals thr, so dat v save thm d effort of finding food. But wat hapns aftr u leave? Used to free feedin, they perish and suffer… D same goes for foreigners who cajole tramps for fun-sake. Once the beggars exhaust their 500 rupee note earned by doin monkey trix, they find not a soul to pay for a cup of tea… If only ppl dint try to play Messiah, thins wud b betr…

And here are some of my thots, o lovers of thotfulness and idleness ;-)

- Courage is not just to take initiative and do the dare, but also to realize the silliness of it and say “No” at d cost of being taken as a coward. Just like intelligence is the sensibility to know what to do, and the wisdom to know what NOT to do…

- Luv is so much like sleep… When you’re in luv u think nuthin else can b betr than dis, similarly when ur in deep sleep, u jus dnt want to get outa it, it’s bliss! When ur asleep u dnt think of food or ppl, and likewise u forget hunger and others when u in luv – ur partner’s supreme priority!

- Others have the power to affect you coz you let them. They can make you happy coz you have given them the power to control your happiness, someone makes you sad coz you expect them to make you happy, to care for you, to stand by you. The minute u realiz no1 can decide ur emotions and feelins u’l feel free and happy, complete and content widin urself…

Ahem… ek din ke liye kafi dose hogaya kya? ;-)
Hope u enjoyd dis as such as I did. I apologize if I hurt any1’s sentiments wid my thots, but d germ was in GDR’s philosophizing. So spare me and go after him!

B bac wid mo… thr’s abt 500 pages still to go!


Wednesday, June 4

About people and peace

Hows it goin buddies?! I’m havin a gr8 time, relaxin n workin for myself… N bloggin whnever I can! My MA result’s out; I got an O (outstanding) grade wid GPA 5.94 / 6. Evrybdy’s congratulatin bt m nt too plsd… I kno m greedy, but I was hopin to bag 16 O’s outa 16, a perfect score… I got 15, a measly Org. Behvr paper ruined my goal… Anyways studies over for gud, so party time folks!!

I’m goin to office and jus spndin time these days. Was chatting with a German colleague d odr day, and I cudn’t help noticing whn he said that we as Indians r an unprofessional lot. Punctuality is a crime, and we dont adhere to times and timetables. We stand people up without informing them in advance. And if (fortunately or unfortunately) we turn up, we cant muster the etiquette to say sorry or give any reasons for our absence/late-coming. Teachers are to be respectd, nevr to b Qed and that’s it. He was irritated coz his partner’s takin dance lessons in d city, and most dance teachers are lazy and not as competent or cooperative as their foreign counterparts. I completely agree; havent we all seen wat happens whn we want a form in college, or submit applications at Govt offices or pay bills or ask for leave at work? We are too bureaucratic and rigid in nature; we focus on the means rather dan d ends, and d means become d ends in themselves… Hope we learn to c beyond wats ez n effortless…

Maybe I’ve bcum mo observant, or mebe I’v go nuthin to do these days! English language classes are mushroomin in evry nook n lane! Evry colony and street boasts of having a Spoken English and communication class. Funny, scary, amazing but tru! Where do they get their students from, and how much quality do they deliver? Job placements and a million promises, Lord knows!

You know, thrs a slum rite in d heart of the city, to b exact between FC Road and Model colony. Thanks to it, I never miss my native place much! The villages and the small streets, animals wanderin on the road, kids playin with tops, bats and marbles and people acting like mules in the centre of the street unaffected by the blaring of vehicle horns around them! My aunt says each time she passes there, she sees someone brushing their teeth, whatever the time of the day! I haven’t had d outstandin luck to view this occurrence (maybe I shud go there at strategic points of the day and observe more closely)…

The heat is terrible. It stings and burns! However the sudden rains last week and this week were amazing. I went to listen to a Bhagwat Katha this week at my mum’s insistence and tho I dint find d sermon too intrstg, I was mo dan intrstd in my fav topic – ppl and behavior. I luv to observe and undstd, ask Qs and laugh… Have u seen how un-self-conscious kids r whn they’ playin?! Nuthin n no1 can bother thm, and they dnt need any1 or anything. Like dis cute lil gal wid her mum and sis. She sat thru d ordeal for an hour or more and then restlessness got d betr o her. She got up n started runnin full speed down d aisle tchin d trees on either side of d path … And she was SO happy! Happier dan her mum who was probably thr to show d world she had come to listen about God and his deeds and teachings… Thr was dis odr woman who was noddin away to glory and d minute ppl laughd or clappd she was shaken outa her reverie and she behavd as if nuthin was amiss, and clapd/laughd jus as hard as d rest… He he… people!!

Anyway, I found one story very intrstg and profound – thr was a vulture wid a piece of meat in its beak. As it was flyin, several odr birds startd following it and threatenin n hittin it for d meat. D bird let go of d food. Why? Peace of mind is gr8er dan anything else… It’s betr to sacrifice wat u temporarily want, dan b shunted and hunted and hurt (physically/mentally) by others… In other words, watver’s causin u trouble, jus let go of it… No use carryin on wid sumthin dat hurts…

Will be bac sooner dis time… M reading a book n finding it very fascinating… If u’d like, I can share sum o d thins I read wid u… Leme know!

Lonely Princess

Dream last night

I dreamt of you last night. I know I dreamt of you last night. I don't know why I dreamt of you last night. In my dreams, you were at my...