Tuesday, April 27

Meri Khabar

Namaste, fellas!

Teme something… Which bugger said “no thank you and no sorry between friends”? The dude is/was definitely living in some other world and era. And only a moron would follow this suggestion.

Why? Because it is very essential to show the loved one that he/she is not being taken for granted. Gratefulness and apology are two important things that when not done right can lead to relationship crises.

Okay ohkay, I’m not taking off on any serious tangents today. I’m just gona tell you what I’ve been up to over the last few days.

After ages have I got the opportunity to be a trainee myself, and it’s been SUCH a relief! I have been a trainer for over 4 years now, and sitting on the other side of the room is a luxury that doesn’t come easy. Thanks to one of our major BPO clients, I was blessed with this chance that I grasped with both hands… And enjoyed it!

So, all of last week, I and a few other trainers were being trained by the Assistant Manager of the said company on the nitty-grittys of the pre-process training – the curriculum, methodology and delivery. While we were all fairly familiar with the content, we learned quite a lot about what happens once the candidate is taken on board for training and induction. What was especially useful for me was the fact that before I join IBM (a fortnight hence), I roughly know in what way BPO/call centre new hires are trained on the voice and accent part.

But that was the objective bit. What I felt on being a trainee after so long was so refreshing! To sit on a chair throughout the session without having to walk around and keep an eye on everybody! To ask questions and crack jokes for no reason and guffaw without any restrictions or professional restraints! To not be on our guard all the time and slack around! LOL…

Obviously, we weren’t as bad as all that - once a trainer always a trainer. I really can’t put aside my “trainer” self and live for more than a few minutes/hours. Then the trainer in me strikes back and I start demanding that I and those around me stretch ourselves and each do our duty for the success of the training program. All in all, a wonderful experience. And I met some really nice people, so that’s an added incentive. (Hey Meghna, Archie, Maithili, Rakhi, Sampada and Altaf!)

The IPL is finally over. And as I’d predicted CSK won. I almost foretold every step akin Emraan Hashmi in Jannat! Right from the wickets to the outcome, my words were like Akashwani :-P The only difference between the movie and me being, I won neither a dime nor penny, whereas Emraan stuffed bundles in safe deposit vaults...

Now I’m not really enthusiastic about cricket, but I just love taking sides and teasing people around me who worship cricket and Sachin. So, if you support MI, I’ll stick up for CSK, and if you praise a player to the skies, I’ll generally rant about how every player is more interested in the dough and fame than in real cricket…

So, as I said, I never was majorly into the game, but I still enjoyed matches as a school-goer, where India was a competitor. However, when the bribe scene caught up and cricketers started starring in ads more than actually performing on the field, I lost excitement. I use to shrug off any cricket news or discussions that happened around me, and just considered it over-hyped in this cricket-crazy country of ours.

Even the Indian Premier League didn’t enthuse me much last year. I know folks were betting at work and in their peer groups, but I kept away from it all. Only this year, I memorized all the names of the IPL teams, just for kicks, but I still don’t know which players belong where (barring a few, of course like Dhoni and Tendulkar).

Say, how do players feel, pitted against each other on the basis of regions? I mean when we as Indians played against Australia and Pakistan, we knew who to pitch for. But with every team having some desi and firang players, who do you root for? I guess you just calculate who’s got the strongest order and then decide accordingly. For me, Raina is now the boss… Great fielding and good batting… This guy sure deserves hopes pinned on him. Say goodbye to Sachin now, dudes and dudettes… He needs to rest…

Apart from the above, I’ve been following Two and a Half Men on Star World as religiously as most women watch Balika Vadhu and those other crappy soaps. The humor quotient and wit in English/American shows is so much superior than in our silly TV programmes. It makes me wanna sob when I watch sad jokes being narrated by substandard actors on Sony and other channels, and melodramatic scenes being enacted by amateurs on Zee and Star. Even MTV and Channel V suck these days. So, I stick to Star World and Star Movies, HBO, Travel and Living, and sometimes NDTV Imagine when they show cooking and travel shows.

Hey, I went book shopping yesterday with Abba to Crossword. It's been ages since I did that, and I went all out by buying 8 books spanning different topics, authors and genres. For example: BPO sutra (recommended by a fellow-trainer), Sybil ( psychological thriller, real life story, again suggested by a college-mate), a Jeffrey Archer and a Sidney Sheldon omnibus, etc.

I begin my reading with Love, Life & All that Jazz by Ahmed Faiyaz, an autographed copy, no less! I think you would agree when I say that the title is catchy, and let me tell you, the plot looks promising and real. However, I must say this, the English is atrocious.
(Ahmed, you could've used my help here, or maybe hired a more competent editor/publisher/whoever corrects the language.) The book is entirely written in the present tense (although it includes several flashbacks, that to me aren't even appealing in motion pictures and thus all the more frustrating in a book). I could've put up with it had the grammar and structure not been all over the place. It bugged me, what with my natural flair and love for English and intolerance for its abuse and misuse. 35 pages down already, and tired of misplaced punctuation, tenses, articles and word order... Sigh, the (dis)advantages of being a language trainer!

You know I’m a little worried. And sad. In the 21
st century, even hale and hearty people are suffering heart attacks. Two of the most fit and energetic people I’ve seen in my life recently experienced one, and it shattered my faith in practicing a healthy lifestyle. What use is all the exercise and good eating when we all finally are going to suffer irrespective of what we eat and do? KFC chicken strips, McDonald burgers and fries, candies and pizzas, you all get a high 5 from me! Sochna kya, jo bhi hoga dekha jayega :-)

Catch ya later... Take care!


P.S.: By the way, have you ever thought of who invented the spectacles/glasses? Darn, this only struck me yesterday when Ammi spoke about it... Thanks a bunch man, whoever you may be. Love ya :)

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