Friday, April 23

Malicious Mermaids

Swimming is bliss, sharing the pool with mean old women isn’t.

If you’re wondering why I’m writing an entire blog post about something as “trivial” as this, then you surely haven’t swum with a bunch of spiteful ladies that have a problem with everything a normal teenager/adult does.

Now Law College pool is not massive, but it is also by no standards small. It’s a good 25 metres long and has depths varying from 3.5 to 12 feet. So, at any given moment, there are atleast 4 people going in any one direction, totaling up to almost 15 overall. Now with a number as large as that, is it any wonder that people occasionally bump into each other? I don’t think so. And as far as I’ve noticed, folks who dash usually flash a quick smile at each other, say sorry and go their respective ways. All in a day’s work.

Take the time when I was practicing my back-stroke along the length of the pool. There was this woman going in the same direction, about a few metres away from me. Now, I know how to stick to my own straight track even while in the water. Turns out this woman slightly deviated from her chosen path and accidentally touched my arm. I didn’t mind. Happens. I stood up for a breather, and as soon as I was about to lie down on the water to do a breast-stroke lap, something on my shoulder went tap, tap tap… I turned around. One of the vicious looking females, the typical ones who wear glasses in the pool and chat more than swim, was ogling at me.

“Excuse me”


“Why don’t you choose one of the tracks by the side of the pool?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re swimming in the middle.”


“Look at those women, they’re swimming in that corner, and those other girls are at the other side. SO you also move to the corner of the pool.”

“But why? There will be somebody swimming in the centre of the pool as well, right? Not everyone can take the corners.”

“Ya, but then you won’t dash.”

“I don’t think we bumped, and even if we did, it’s ok. It happens with everybody. What’s the issue?”

“No no, you swim at the side of the pool.”

“Well, I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. Why don’t you go and tell the coach, and if there’s any problem, he’ll tell me.”

“No but…”

I started to wade away and beat this! She actually clutched my arm…

“I haven’t finished yet.”

“Look, don’t touch me. You gotta problem, talk to the coach.”

“No, you know what? You’re right. I am wrong.”

“Damn right I’m right.”

And off I went. Stupid lady. Must have fought with her equally cranky husband at home early in the morning.

There was another incident that occurred a week before this. What happened was one of the girls with a swimsuit just like mine was doing the back-stroke and she bumped into one lady. Maybe words weren’t exchanged then, and the woman was looking for an opportunity to vent her displaced frustration. So, when I swam past her, she spun around and said, “When you’re doing the back-stroke, look at the pole.”

“Ok!” (I thought she was just being helpful. I had no idea about all the prior events.)

“Or look at the tree.”

“Yeah, I do that.”

“Ya, then you won’t bump or go tedha”

“But I didn’t…”

I looked towards my friend (the one with the similar costume) and she was grinning. It dawned upon me that something was amiss.

“Oh, I think SHE bumped into you, not me.”

She glanced across to where I was pointing.

“Oh, same swimming costume?”

“Ya ya, she didn’t bump into you”. (Another obliging lady quipped from her chatty side of the pool.)

“Oh but that’s ok, just remember to look at the pole.”

I shrugged.

See for yourself? See what I mean?


Every day these dames have a problem, either with the pool, or the water, or the swimmers or the attendant. So one day they scold some enthusiastic swimmer, the next day they blast the attendant for not cleaning the water, and the following day they speculate about the increased number of people in the pool. If they whirled their bodies half as much as they wagged their tongues, they’d be towing only half of their original weight around.

At such times, I really find men very accommodating and pleasant. They don't talk so much and they don't have so many issues. Feminine folks (including me), generally, have a fixation with principles and morals. They can go to any length to make a person aware of his/her shortcomings, but don't bat an eyelid when they go breaking rules.

What were you thinking, God?? :-D

Some things don't change no matter how much you wonder about them. So, guess I should just speak about this and wrap up.


(Learning diving from some young school-girls now. They're friendlier and nicer.)



Reema Sahay said...

absolutely hilarious....thoroughly enjoyed this post! I totally agree women are not so accomodating :-)

Princess said...

Hey PaP,

I'm glad you enjoyed the post. I sure wasn't too thrilled when it actually happened to me, but on hindsight, I couldn't stop giggling :-D

So, where you been all this while?


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