Tuesday, December 18

Funny Musings

I wonder how life would’ve been with you…

Once upon a time, you seemed like the perfect soulmate. It was like my dream come true when I set eyes on you. You seemed so perfect, everything about you appeared divine. Even your shortcomings had a peculiar cuteness about them. I couldn’t bear to be away from you, and time flew when we were together.

But that was a long time ago.

Now, with you in your changed life, and me in my lively one, I muse … Were my suspicions confirmed when I said we’re better off apart? Or was it a decision that I would regret for life?

I’m yet to know… But you know already… Coz you’ve moved on… and your new life has begun.

“Funny” is the only word that comes to mind when I try to categorize this situation. Sad, happy, weird, confusing, annoying, frustrating, helpless, ridiculous – it all can be described as “funny”.

Life is “funny”.

When you’re in the midst of things, experiencing and living each moment, black and white is clear. You can easily say yes or no, and right or wrong. But when you look back at the memories, you hesitate before being ruthlessly final. Greys and questions remain… What if I’d taken the other option, what if I’d gone the other way?

What if I’d agreed to elope with you that night…?

Would we have been one merry couple now?

Or would I have been weeping in distress coz I made the wrong choice…?

Some questions remains unanswered forever…

It’s “funny” how I still remember you longingly. Never thought I would. I always thought I was better off without you. That you brought too much pain and trouble to my otherwise peaceful life. 

And now, in my relatively serene routine, I look back at all those times… and I miss you…

Some aches are gratifying, some wounds stay for life…

Our love is a scar that I carry with me wherever I go.

Our laughs, our fights, our crazy and challenging times lurk just a memory away, waiting to be beckoned.

They know I’ve not forgotten them though I don’t call upon them too often. They know they bring me warmth even as they sting. They know how I feel.

Do you?

Sometimes walking away is the best thing to do…

Sometimes, ending a way of life is the only thing to do…

Sometimes, all you can do is give up…

I did.

I walked away, ending it all, giving up what I’d come to accept and believe as mine…

Am I happier now?

I don’t know.

I wish I could say it doesn’t matter, but obviously it does.

Does it matter to you?

You, in your new life, do you know that I haven’t and can never throw you out of my mind and 

You shall forever remain… and whoever comes next, will have to share… Coz I was yours once… Heart and soul, body and mind…

Weird are the ways of fate.

“Funny” they say.

(No reference to any person, living or dead.... This is a piece of fiction, and any resemblance is purely coincidental.... and blah blah blah... and blah)

- Princess


Vishal Bheeroo said...

(No reference to any person, living or dead.... This is a piece of fiction, and any resemblance is purely coincidental.... and blah blah blah... and blah) hehhe love dis final part..quite filmy Anuja. Lovely story::)

Princess said...

Tank yew Vishal :-)

Hope all well on your side of the globe! Wish you a very merry Xmas and delightful new year 2013


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