Friday, August 3

Real Ever After's

“He cant make you laugh, he cant make you cry… Looks like he hasn’t touched your heart yet.”

I always remember this lovely dialogue from the Bollywood movie Bluffmaster (starring AB’s baby and Piggy Chops). It’s true. You cant be happy with someone who cannot impact you in a way that makes you react.

You can survive and co-exist, yes. But live a passionate, lively moment, no.

And if not, then what use is it being with that person? Aren’t you better off alone?!!

Whoever said they’ve never fought with their partner / spouse is kidding you for sure. Or maybe their relationship has not reached the level where they totally trust and know each other. They are probably still in the initial, formal stage where they are quietly unsure or politely tolerant of everything that their partner says, does, wants or thinks.

Akhilesh is a wonderful guy and a great husband. He’s terrific simply coz I love him, and he’s a gem coz he loves me like few other people dream of being loved and fewer still actually are.

Do we fight?

Of course we do!!

(Though we both wish we wouldn't...)

And real bad fights, too. Our single-minded focus is on hurting each other and proving exactly how much each one of us is suffering and putting up with.

(Funny bit is, we end up smiling now and then even while the argument is on coz we know we are both bull-$hitting about being frustrated, and we are both still as madly in love with each other the way we were when we were dating.)

(Actually, more than that.)

You cant expect things to be the same before and after your wedding. You cant expect to be okay with everything about your partner. Being life partners and soul mates does not guarantee that the both of you will like and accept everything about each other. It does not mean finding the perfect person, or someone just like you. It means being able to understand your differences and not just live with them, but also make life more compatible and the differences less stressful.

It does not mean not fighting. It means approaching a situation with maturity and patience, and coming out of that situation knowing more about your partner and yourself.

Too often, we target the individual and not the behaviour.

Too often, we refuse to keep our mind and heart open.

Too often, we jump to conclusions and generalizations.  

We want to believe that the other person is out to change us, that that person is trying to control or command us, that he or she has changed into a hideous devil whose sole motive is to ensure that we are not happy and free.

If only we listen, if only we trust intentions, if only we accept and imbibe …

Then, there would be no fights.

Pursuit of happiness in the true sense of the phrase.

To reach that level of understanding and compatibility – that is my aim.

To give my husband a happier and contented life – that is my desire.

To see him laugh with abandon, and cry with joy…    

To give him these moments and live my life with him to the fullest…

< Sigh >

What’s a few fights anyway?!!!

The making up is totally worth it.



1 comment:

Vishal Bheeroo said...

Interesting yet hardcore stuffs to decode. Like dis line though...You cant be happy with someone who cannot impact you in a way that makes you react.

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