Wednesday, May 23

Of Lessons and Appeals

Hola amigos!

Been a while since I spoke Spanish.

Thanks to a colleague at work who is fluent in the language, I do manage to employ the Spanish greetings now and then, but that’s about it. Repeated resolutions to grab my books from the bedside shelf and flip through them revising and brushing up on the language have fallen flat as resolutions are wont to do… But ah, life goes one… I shall try again tomorrow…

(You wana be persistent? Vale. Hola mi chicos, como estais? No estoy bien. Quiereis escuchar a mi? Claro!)

Happy now?!! As if you got it!! Lol. Mind you smarties, I did not Google translate!! This much I do remember ;-)

Been a while since I wrote...

Just been caught up all these days. Busy in body and mind, stressed more than useful and civil. Cranky beyond par, and unbearable to say the least.  

I’ve been really down the dumps in the last few weeks. One of those (supposedly) rare times when nothing goes right, and no amount of optimism and taking it easy can fix either the issues or the mind. What would you say when I suggest that health, family and work – not one of these let me relax?

But this post is not my cribbing session. I do that enough with the friends and family already.

Just wanted to share a few things that I have been through recently. A 2-day training program that left a mark, for various reasons…

“Eat your frog” is a book, and a concept that smart people will stand by. So let me eat my frog first and admit that the most adventurous experience turned out to be the lack of arrangement of company transport to drop me back home from Hinjewadi to my place on the second evening of training. I was in a helpless state, and had it not been for a very human and generous colleague, I would have had to endure considerable inconvenience and anxiety.

(Thank you Rahul, and as I said earlier, I owe you one! Not just for being my knight in shining cab, but also for the knowledge and wisdom that you shared. You’re a reservoir of information/experience and a very vibrant, inspiring personality. God bless you!)

Moving on to the more pleasant aspects of this entire training episode, here are a few quick pointers that I found extremely useful and you might too:

1. Enable people in their work, do not get so blown off by your enthusiasm that you dominate the task and render the original person(s) useless or mere puppets.

2. Your intention will impact your behaviour, but perception may not be identical to the actual intent. Your behaviour needs to clearly and consistently communicate your honest purpose.

3. Focus more on the end result and take-away than rigorous policies and procedures. Rules exist to make life simpler, not difficult.

4. When resolving conflicts, always identify WHAT is right, not WHO is right. Listen to all parties involved, the solution might be simpler and more straightforward than what it appears or you assume. On the same lines, fix the ISSUE not the person(s) in crit-sits (critical situations). Believe that each person wants the best for himself and the team, and wants to perform well. Without this faith, the climate would not be conducive to growth and success.

5. Language plays a vital role and belies what you believe. NLP talks about paired items, for example, mom-dad, brother-sister, or any item that you spontaneously speak in connection to the first. Most people would hear the word “superior” and immediately blurt out the paired item “inferior”; that is how we start relating to our work and colleagues. However, the appropriate terminology is “senior” and “junior” in terms of age or skill or experience or whatever the parameter.

Insightful, eh?

Having said that, I also noticed some behaviours of the facilitator and my fellow participants that left lasting impressions. Some good, some bad, some neutral. Like people trying hard to connect and be friendly, like how suspicious and cynical people are about anything positive around them, like people ignoring or licking a$$ for no visible reason, like how someone’s words and actions can be interpreted to be boorish and childish, like people wanting to appear intelligent and informed but full of bull$hit in reality and open visibility, and so on.

Overall, they were interesting two days, and in my quest of learning and development, another step up. The road is long, and unclear, but as long as I am learning something (almost) everyday in ways formal and informal, planned and sudden, I am content. It’s rightly said that the day you stop learning you die. Either figuratively or literally.

As Rahul has gleaned from a Buddha philosophy, “when you are ready, a teacher shall arrive”. Don’t lose sleep over an absent teacher, look at the ones that are right next to you... It’s surprising that we miss so many lessons and opportunities that are staring us in the face.  

I wish I could write some more details about what life’s been doing to me these last few months, but my lips are sealed until pending matters are crystallized.

I can, however, divulge that my reading is fairly on track. After Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, it was Devotion of Suspect X (reviewed for Blogadda). I am currently reading Pyre of Queens and Forest of Stores. Have lately gotten into the habit of reading two books simultaneously. Found that pretty unorganized earlier, but now it seems more convenient and entertaining as my moods fluctuate and needs vary.

Yeah yeah… I hear you calling me names for being mean and difficult. Trust me, if you feel it now, I’ve felt it 10 days ago in 10 times worse intensity. The reason why I’m giving you a hard time, is coz I’m going through an absolutely horrible phase.

I understand if you want to take time out being incapable of addressing and tolerating my volatile emotions. 

Actually, scratch that out. 

I mean I know I would be willing and available to stand by you when you were going through a challenging time personally or professionally. (Unless of course they are proven excuses and recurring lies). 

Isn't is popular that when an individual deserves love the least, he/she needs it the most? Why then, would you not allow me to be myself in this sorry, helpless state? You know me to be independent and strong, but that does not mean I be deprived of or forbidden my weak moments and desperation. Why then do I need to appeal for your empathy and tolerance in my tough times when I call you my dear friend, partner, colleague or family? 

Once my professional and personal priorities are achieved (both within 2 months or less), I shall be back on track with the writing, the living and the celebrating... you know it as well as I do...

Those of you who cant deal with me right now… take a hike.
Do come back if you must, but with greater patience, empathy and trust.

Coz I deserve my down time. 

With Love (even in times of anger and hatred),

1 comment:

Vishal Bheeroo said...

Hey Anuja
Sometimes things goes bad and it's not in our capacity to redress the situation. Go with the flow.
There are always being who keep criticising..don't worry!!! I always believe such people lead meaningless a friend was telling me the other day, go ahead if u wanna make me a it is I am not being paid to manipulate or gossip.
Keep the faith

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