Saturday, July 3

Peace, People and Places

It’s a wonderful life!

Yeah guys, I’m Anuja (aka Princess) and I’m happy.

Work is good, and I’ve got used to the routine at home. So basically my acceptance of things has made my life more pleasant and me more congenial.

I enjoy being at work –learning and doing various tasks, meeting new people and getting to know them better, and discovering facets about me I didn’t know existed or I knew but didn’t get opportunities to apply. It’s like my life was waiting for IBM... I realize that I am fairly good natured (better than most other people). I recognize that I am a wonderful team-player, when it comes to work or play. And I understand that this is just the beginning and life is only going to get better…

I haven’t forgotten the times when I was sad and stressed owing to bad relationships in my life and issues at work and home. Everything seemed to be wrong and my life was plummeting into the deepest abyss of frustration and hopelessness. I cannot say things have drastically changed, but Providence has modified some situations and my attitude has corrected the rest.

With IBM came change – a lot of new realities and opportunities. My adaptability I possess was aptly tested, and I scored a fairly decent grade. While the novelties settled, I made up my mind to put my foot down and let go of some bonds that had become chains. I don’t have to stand up and fulfill others’ expectations and care for their needs at the cost of my own joys and desires. I am content, and I think things haven’t been this brilliant in ages. Not that I don’t get a little low now and then or that I find everything perfect, but I’ve learnt how to cope with it. And let me give credit to individuals around me, who at least as of now, appear to be friendly and hassle-free… letting me be what I am, without pretense or fear of misjudgment.

Of course, there are people who find me childish and/or philosophical just because I express my feelings truly and immediately. I am sensitive, I am aware, and I my emotions flash clearly over my face. So, if I am excited, I’ll jump around like a bouncing ball, and if I am hurt/sorrowful, I’ll go into my shell and leave a void in any space, unintentionally making those around me uncomfortable. I am a Cancer after all, and my moods can either raise spirits or a put a damp cloth around the entire civilization.

However, I shall not disguise my feelings for any reason whatsoever. As they say in psychological terms, I can use all 3 ego states of Transactional Analysis (TA) and I would like to continue doing that. Why be a Critical Adult when it’s time to rejoice like a Free Child? Why operate from the Adult state when the situation requires you to be a Nurturing Parent? I don’t have to throw my weight around or appear all snobbish and controlled to be taken seriously. As long as I complete my obligations, I am free to choose how to behave. And as far as people’s impressions and evaluation are concerned, I care a rat’s a**.

Nazar na lagana mere khushi aur originality ko, yaaron!

You know, I’ve been meaning to share this with you for a long time, but somehow never got a chance. Its talks volumes about the hypocrisy of folks you consider gems and genuine. And it hurt me tremendously. Told you I am touchy, and the fact that this was unforeseen only made it that much harder to digest.

So, it goes like this. When I was being hired by my current employer, my ex-boss was to be called for my reference check. I’d already informed him about this and he gushed, “Sure, go ahead, I’m very happy for you, career and growth must be taken seriously” and other blah-blah. I thought he was an honest man, and I didn’t expect to be taken for a ride. Hence, when I was about to quit, I made sure that all my duties were complete and the handover was done well. Bad endings are not my style… And I really wanted to keep good contacts with this boss of mine - I’d always respected his gregariousness, network and knowledge.

Imagine what I felt when the IBM HR called me and said this person had given a negative ref check! Shattered would be an understatement. I mean hello, wasn’t backbiting a trait of us woman? The boss was frustrated because he knew he couldn’t retain me, and he recognized that their training division would be a goner without me. There was no way he could stop me from pursuing my dreams, development and satisfaction; so he tried to mess things up for me. To no avail though, coz his negative feedback did not deter the new employer from hiring me. However, I was disappointed, and so so annoyed. Even hurt. Such shameless two-facedness! Humphhh…

And here’s the cherry on the top… When I went to collect my relieving letter, this freak had the audacity to proactively come up and tell me that he had got a call from the background verification guys and he said everything was fine... People are such a**holes! Double humphhh…

I didn’t say a word. I just looked at him, and nodded. I don’t know why I didn’t confront him then or even now. I just didn’t see the point of raking up a discussion. Now I hear he’s left the firm himself. God bless him.

Maybe I’m getting more mature and objective. God bless me.

And may God bless you all.


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