Saturday, February 27

My Pending Reviews

Hope you enjoyed reading my Pondy trip as much as I enjoyed experiencing and writing it. Gosh, I still miss it…

Hey, I gotta lot of pending issues left to wrap up. The review of My Name Is Khan, for instance, and some well-deserved censure by the balderdash that is Rahul ka Swayamvar… But I’m gona do the MNIK evaluation later in detail. For today, my topics are books, TV shows and recently watched movies.

I read Perry Mason and Agatha Christie recently, and did not enjoy them. I used to like Erle Stanley Gardener earlier, in fact I found Perry Mason and Della Street extremely witty and memorable. Yet when I read the Perjured Parrot case a few weeks ago, I found the plot weak and the writing shoddy. Looks like my taste has changed over the last couple of years.

Agatha Christie, well, I’ve never read her before, but I know folks who’d swear by her writing prowess. I was quite enthusiastic to begin By The Pricking of My Thumbs, what with the ghostly puppet picture on the front cover. Alas, the book’s turned out to be a letdown. The pace is terribly slow, and the descriptions dreary and superfluous. Tommy is an interesting character, but Prudence aka Tuppence is over the top. It’s like a 100 page (or even less) story has been pulled and stretched to annoy the reader who has too much time on his hands. I wonder if this was a feature of this particular novel or whether all Christie’s books are similar. A hell lot of unnecessary characters are introduced and by the time you’re all muddled and disinterested, it turns out that character 5, 29 and 83 are connected and are the criminals. Bah! Waste of time and intelligence…

Nevertheless, I learnt some fascinating things while reading. One dialogue that a Mrs. Packard says stayed with me long after I’d shut the book. It goes like this: “Brainy people are impatient.”

Darn! This explains everything. This justifies my irritation, frustration and brusqueness with people who do not behave as expected, told or taught. Being amply intelligent myself, I consider things easy to do that others might find challenging or confusing. And once I decide somebody is dumb, I don’t think too highly of that person as regards reliability, effectiveness and efficiency. Well, now there’s my confession.

Having said that, I feel some tasks should be cut out especially for those that are a little less bright. Give a competent individual a humdrum task, or give an inept person a novel one, and you got a sure failure on your hands.

Another remarkable observation, one that most of us know but find hard to follow, is that when old people say something, one should not argue or rationalize. Just apologize and say you’ll never do it again. So, the next time Uncle Jerome (name changed to protect privacy) tells me “You just don’t have time for me”, I know what to say.

Are you aware of a word called “tartar”? I’d heard it before with reference to dental hygiene, but wasn’t sure what it meant. On consulting my pocket dictionary (a companion since 1995), I saw that it meant two things. One, it’s the deposit on the teeth, as I knew. And two, it was a bad-tempered or difficult person. LOL. I know, I know, I’m a Tartar myself! LMFAO.

(Laughing My F***ing A** Off.)

Remember I was telling you about the Peter Principle? That thing where competent people are promoted to their post of incompetency? Well, I’ve not finished the book yet, but found this another “Aaha!” thought. Again one that is not really a brand new one… It says that politicians and legislators are chosen more for their ability to charm and inflame the public than any real knowledge and expertise at framing and implementing beneficial policies. So, if a speaker gives a good speech, he’s considered better than the capable candidate who actually does something for the citizens. I think we all know this, still we haven’t been able to find a way to elect worthy lawmakers and public servants. Such a shame!

I now begin the Moonstone, a classic by Wilkie Collins. It is supposed to be the first detective novel in English. Sounds intriguing, eh? I hope it doesn’t turn out to be a disappointment.

Moving on to TV shows, what the hell is Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jayega all about? I hope you guys know he’s a divorcee. And an ugly one at that! What were the casting people thinking when they thought of roping him in Swayamvar Season 2? That too after Rakhi’s was such a damp squib. She didn’t marry that NRI Elesh, and still managed to gain TRPs in the original program as well as Pati, Patni Aur Wo – that show where couples (married, engaged or Rakhi-Elesh type) have to rear and nurture kids of different ages.

In the current show, Rahul Mahajan looks hideous and laughs like a maniac. He overacts and repeats dialogues over and over again. A torture on all senses, but my brother seems to have taken a peculiar penchant to that show. (Not his fault, marriage ruins the best of guys… At least he doesn’t watch all the saas-bahu crap like my Dad.)

Oh, there’s a Pune dame on the show – Mrinmayi somebody – a model. I feel sorry for Harpreet who’s barely 20 and fatherless, and dreaming of marrying the madman. There was another barmy woman on the show called Priyadarshini from Mumbai. Goddd… kaha kaha se chale aate hai! Watch this show only if you’ve got nothing better to do… The D-day for the decision is March 6… As if we care…

The worst news is that MTV Roadies and Splitsvilla, this time, are both dreadfully dull. The previous ones were so memorable, I used to love catching them religiously week after week, and even enjoyed watching reruns! Pity pity… There are too many reality shows on too many channels nowadays and so the quality is perceptibly pathetic. Emotional Atyaachar, in the literal sense!

Another pity is Christmas Carol that I watched a few days ago on the computer. I was planning to see it on the big screen when it released in 2009, but did not have any company. Turns out it was for the best. The movie is borrrrrrrring. The animated Disney version was so much better. Mickey and Scrooge and Tiny Tim… Modern versions really suck. Old is indeed gold, at least in this field.

Finally, three cheers for New Moon! Hip Hip… Hurray! Missed watching this one in the theatre, too, as the friends who’d promised to watch it with me went ahead on their own and left me hanging. I downloaded it (where would us cine-goers be without the divine Torrent?!!) and watched it with bated breath. Damn, I love Edward – not physically, he looks quite gay and unattractive to me. I mean romantically and emotionally; the guy’s a sweetheart. The things he says and the things he does, man, he knows how to make a woman feel special… Where’s my Edward? When’s he coming along?

Jacob is charming in the second movie in the Twilight series. He looks handsome and sensual. Bella, as usual is exceedingly pretty and authentic. The graphics are extraordinary, especially the scene where the La Push boys turn into werewolves. The music is awesome, too, so by and large, the film worked for me. A 10 on 10, though the book is a 12 on 10.

I was planning to watch Click, not the Hollywood one starring Adam Sandler and Kate Beckinsale, but apna Bollywood ka horror release. The disappointing review deterred me from doing so... They say the scenes are very Ramsay brothers type, and the story and cast is also lame... Gotta wait till another terrific thriller comes along.

Some highs and some lows, this post truly resembles life!

Come back for My Name is Khan and Kartik calling Kartik.

Until then,

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