Baby I'm Addicted...

This goes out to most boys (and some girls, too) who drink for any and every reason, any and every day.

Why do you drink so much?

What is it about alcohol that is so irresistible and makes you so desperate?

It’s ridiculous.

Honestly.

I won’t deny the desire and pleasure of a drink now and then when you’re very stressed of extremely happy, or you want to celebrate a particularly significant occasion in your life.

But drinking coz you can afford it and drinking coz booze is available is downright stupid.

And the fact that you can’t control yourself in the presence of alcohol is disgusting.

I’ve seen more than a few folks who drink almost every single day for no other excuse than they’ve been to office or they have nothing else to do. Guys get together after work and lounge at someone’s place with bottles of beer, rum and whisky maybe because it makes them feel cool, or could be because they believe that it is essential. A day without alcohol makes them feel incomplete and bored. As if they’ve wasted one day of their life. Now how wise and exciting is that?!

I can fathom a few logical reasons for drinking (if any reason for drinking CAN be termed logical). One, it’s just something you do when you gang up with a bunch of friends/colleagues. (As if just sitting around munching on snacks and listening to music isn’t happening enough.) Two, it’s a-given that guys drink whenever they can, so this agenda doesn’t require any planning or discussion. Three, people are addicted. Either truly or they believe they are. In my opinion, it’s more psychological. “I’ve had a hard day, and I NEED a drink.”

And of course, when you drink, you sure NEED a smoke…

Why am I getting so worked up about it? Well, simply put, it ANNOYS me.

What’s with drinking everyday ya? Or every alternate day for that matter? Or every weekend even?

So fine you drink one day coz you feel like it. Fair enough. And then you drink the next day coz a colleague wants to drink. Nonsense! And then you drink the day after that because one of your team-mates got promoted. Haa! The next day it’s someone’s birthday, so a drink is in order. And obviously, you catch up with friends over the weekend or visit a new hangout, or your girlfriend wants to go partying …

Loser!! Get a grip on yourself. Whoever said that booze available is booze that needs to be drunk?!! Whoever said you can’t say no? Why the hell do you think that if you refuse to drink, someone might get offended or ridicule you?

I seriously don’t understand.

I mean, you’re educated enough to know that you are making yourself dependant on this poison. You might convince yourself that you’re not addicted but your actions and emotions speak otherwise. If your will power cannot hold you back from regular binge, then dude, you gotta serious problem. Indulgence is one thing, overdoing it and being unable to control yourself – deep shit you’re in, mate. And what sucks is you don’t even realise or accept it.

You’re screwing your own health – physical, mental and emotional. You’re jeopardizing the life of others who depend on you – your family, whether born or unborn yet. And how fair is that?

No… I do not believe you when you say you know what you’re doing. I do not believe you when you say you are in control. Drinking more than twice a week and more than 4 times a month, is a grave concern. And if you can’t stop yourself, lord save you.

Stop calling your girlfriends, siblings, spouses and parents nags just coz they care for your health and ask you to refrain from drinking.

Stop thinking you’re cool and drinking is a way to prove that.

Stop supposing that there is no better way to enjoy life. Recreation and rejuvenation has better modes than this ugly habit. Exercise. Watch a movie. Hang out at a club or park. Pick a hobby. Play cards or chat with relatives and friends. Learn how to dance or speak a new language. Do something creative. Find ways to make your loved ones feel special. Do all the things you miss out on coz you waste half your breathing time making merry after a bottle of booze.

Life is much more than a high, buddy.

Quit the alcohol. Kick the pot. Chuck the cigarette.

It’s not worth it, trust me.

Why am I saying all this?

Coz I care.

And you know I do…

I hope you care for me, too…

Be good!

Princess

Washroom chronicles

Hey there!!

I wrote about Wardrobe Chronicles 2 years ago…

And this time, here’s a sneak peek into the woman’s private zone…

Are you excited yet?

Well, if you think what’s so great about a woman’s lavatory, think again.

(In fact, if you DO think that there’s nothing special about a woman’s restroom, it’s all the more reason for you to read this post. Brush up on your GK, dude!! Dobara mat poochna!!)

For women, a washroom is not merely a place to freshen up, but an essential part of living… If walls had ears, the restroom walls would have been a part of the Guinness World Records for holding the most secrets…

Women crying.

Women gossiping.

Women sniggering.

Women discussing latest fashion.

Women reminiscing about the good ol’ days.

Women experimenting with new looks and make up.

I haven’t mentioned half the list yet…

Now do you see?

Now, again you would think why I’m sharing all this with you non-members of this private and beautiful zone. Am I not a woman who loves this space? I do, which is why I’m showing you just how important and exciting this place is…

Why else would a woman excuse herself to go to the washroom the minute she steps into a home, restaurant, office or club?

Men don’t do that, do they? At least not the (comparatively) macho ones that I know…

So, women obviously sit on the pot as they chat with their friends and boyfriends, either bitching or whispering sweet nothings.

Or they could be wailing coz their boss shouted on them for something that was frivolous (according to them). Maybe a boyfriend giving them grief. Or coz they were feeling unwell and some supervisor acted rude and insensitive. No dearth of reasons to cry – we’re women after all!

The powder room, as it is also called at times, is a must visit for any woman who enters a pub or workplace. (Or anywhere for that matter, if one lives in Mumbai – the sweat and muck, yuck!!)

Staring at themselves for hours in the mirror. Curling their already curled (or straightened) hair. Lining their eyes with mascara for the tenth time in 10 minutes. Painting their already shining lips. Peering at marks (both visible and invisible, real and imaginary) on the face and elsewhere. Adjusting accessories or the dupatta or the t-shirt… And once all of this done, staring at themselves from top to bottom again – a quick check to see if everything’s in order.

Being a woman isn’t an easy job, fellas! It’s a lot of hard work…

And I bet you don’t mind when you see the great outcome that steps outta the washroom. Worth the wait, right?

The venue is also a breakout zone for a gang of giggly girls who want to catch up on lost time and updates. Like who’s dating whom, who fought with whom, what’s the masala in the work world and movie world.

I know this is taking it too far, but once I even saw a girl sipping coffee as she chatted up her pals in the washroom! Takes the cake, eh? LOL.

Well, well… Women who are taking offence, pardon me. But I honestly don’t understand the concept of wasting time in the loo. The loo is meant for a particular purpose, one that I often finish in less than a minute. And when I see chics spending a good 15 minute break at work in the loo… It kinda surprises and amuses me.

And we laugh on…

Cheerio!
Princess

Who's Loss Is It Anyway?

I’m a sore loser when it comes to losing people.

I HATE ending relations. I wail and I flail and I make life difficult for myself and the person involved.

(Of course, considering that most people these days are quite business-like, detached and impersonal, they do not experience the same trauma that I do. Fair enough. We’re not created equal, and thank god for that…)

Amazingly, despite the innumerable times that I’ve lost close and not so close friends, I’ve not turned numb to this phenomenon yet. Each time it happens, I experience the same amount of grief and restlessness.

As most ladies would readily agree, it’s tough being a woman.

However, the one time when I truly regret it is when my guy friends fall in love with me. I used to be a tomboy (still am, in a few ways, and proud of it!) and I continue to share excellent rapport with all my guy friends as well as the girls. Yet, when these very chaddi buddies tell me they’ve fallen for me, the chemistry goes to the dogs and life becomes all topsy-turvy. Nothing’s the same again. Unless of course, both of us bounce back and understand and accept the other’s desires, decisions and emotions.

It’s not funny how relations change when the dynamics of love and infatuation force the doom of your camaraderie and oneness. To cut a long story short, it hurts enormously when someone you believe to be close and “apna” disowns you owing to a romantic interest that you do not reciprocate.

Of course, there were other times when I was left feeling alone and miserable. Like when a very close friend (two actually, both girls) abandoned me and went away for goodness knows what reason. They’re both back with me now, but I can’t begin to tell you how enraged and lost I felt for the first few months without each one of them.

Then there was this other guy who said he loved me. And then he went back to his hometown, not even bothering to keep in touch, or say goodbye.

And this other friend, who …

If I start counting the number of people I’ve lost this way, I’d turn 60 and still be counting.

Umm… Ok. That’s an exaggeration. Maybe not 60…

The point being, I get really attached to the people in my life. And somehow, I believe that I matter to them, too. So, when they move away from me without a sign or twitch, it hurts. Hurts real bad. I want to hold them like a rowdy baby, shake them and ask, “What the hell happened? I thought you were my friend? How can you just go away like this?”

They look at me like I’ve lost it.

Maybe I have. How come they don’t feel a pang of sorrow and loss?

Are they so out of touch with their emotions? Are they so strong and hard-hearted as to not feel any despair? Did I never matter in the first place for me to expect such a difference in their lives?

So what really troubles me is not the fact that they choose to not be in my life anymore, but the fact that they think their life can be intact (and maybe better off without) me.

Call me egoistic, but that’s the truth.

I realize that things were a lot different a few generations ago when people who did not meet each other for decades, still went out of their way to be there for their childhood mates and acquaintances. My uncle and his friends for instance. They studied together in the US, and when they see each other, sometimes after 30 years, they talk and behave like they saw each other just the previous day.

The warm generosity and unassuming openness is like a slap in the face for someone like me who stays in the 21^st century and frequently interacts with individuals who know they each exist in others’ life for some temporary reason or agenda. Be it school friends, college buddies or work allies, we’re programmed to being best pals when we’re together, and then smoothly roving our own paths when fate brings us to the crossroads.

Without bothering about keeping in touch with those that we spent most of our waking hours with not so long ago, we go our lonely ways and become faded memories for each other, remembered with mirth, horror or apathy.

Nothing’s permanent, said the Lord in the Bhagwada Geeta.

We live it every day.

At least most of us do.

And I’m not one of them.

I seek to get back in touch, and I forgive with the intention of reliving the beautiful past.

Happens sometimes. Fails at other times.

I shrug and walk away; at least I tried.

But I never forget.

It’s the least I can do for someone that made a mark in my life.

You all have.

And I shall forever remain indebted.

Thank you.

And please don’t go away :-)

Cheers!
Princess

Rosesh ki Inspirations

No doubt you know what I’m talking about.

The brilliant, entertaining and one of a kind – Rosesh Sarabhai, and his mind-blowing poems. Compiled from the show Sarabhai vs Sarabhai, that was aired on Star One not so long ago.

Some of his “choicest” creations, assembled from the net and memory… Enjoy!

In the living room of Sarabhai's, Hogi Saahil Bhai ki sagaai,
Agley mahiney, Priya Bhabhi phuli na samaai.

Momma tum sabse pyari, Tum bin jaise main raaste ka andha bhikhari,
Blessings daan me de do, Thodi mamta tumhari, Momma ho momma ho.

Ek Common Man Ko Mili Hai Pari, Jaise Chikoo Ke saath Ho Strawberry,
Aage Aage Mummy Aur Piche Piche Daddy, Jaise Tom And Jerry.

Ghanan ghanan ghanan ghanan, Badalo se aaye pehle surya kiran,
Daaton ke liye dant manjan, Aur pet ke liye kaayam chooran .

Hawa mein hain khushi ki aroma, Jeet gayi momma, jeet gayi momma,
Say hi to happiness and tata to trauma, Jeet gayi momma, jeet gayi momma .

Jelly giri zameen par, To awaaz aayi PLUP PLUP!
Baccha usme haath maare, To sunai deti hai THUP THUP!
Jelly par kabhi fungus na lage, Uska swaad kabhi bhankas na lage,
Agar bachaani hai hume hamari country, Toh jelly ko banana hoga pradhan mantri .

Tumhe samjhe toh mujhe bhi samjhana,
Kyu hai mera jeevan itna khokla,
Jaise koi baasi aur sada hua khaman dhokla.

Popat Kaka ki atma ka Popat ud gaya ud gaya ud gaya rey...
Shristi ke sajjan haath se popat jud gaya jud gaya jud gaya rey...

Humpty dumpty sat on the 'gaadi', Gaadi pe baitha tabhi aa gayi daadi,
Daadi ne kaha aaja mere paas, Kyuki gaadi pe baithna is just so middle class.

Pud pud pud pud ubalta paani, Paani mein uble chawal ki jawani,
Jawan hokar chawal sajayenge thali, Seene se lagayenge daal kali kali.

In the bathroom of Sarabhai, hogi Monisha bhabhi ki pitaai,
Rakhti hain apna ghar woh ganda, jaise dal makhani mein paneer pasanda.

Momma ka bday karein celebrate, Age hai 53 but u look 28,
Monisha bhabhi ne banaaya hai khaana, Jise hum sab karte hain hate.

Tugduk tugduk tugduk
Momma ne bola Rosesh Ruk ruk ruk ruk ruk ruk,
Maine peche dekha, Look look look look look look,
Momma ne mujhe di ek horse riding ki,
Book book book book book book.

And the TOP CLASS POEM… Teen pair wala kutta…

Yeh hai teen pair waala kutta, Isko kabhi bhagaana nahi padta,
Susu karte waqt use pair uthaana nahi padta.

Haha! Just how awesome is that…

One complimentary poem by Kachha Kela during poetry session: (This one;s my all time favourite – just like the Hips Don’t Lie joke)

Main Lukkha Hoon...

Duniya chahe meri puja kare,
par, Main lukkha hoon.
Bhale meri burayi na koi dooja kare,
par, Main lukkha hoon.

Mujhe raaj gaadi pe na bithao,
Nahin raja kabhi banna mujhe.
Mujhe mehngi cheezein nahin chahiye,
Jo mango le lo, de do gaana mujhe.

Stay safe, be happy.

Watch out for some more laughs…

-Princess

Still Together...

How do I feel when I am with you?

Lovely.

Complete.

Protected.

Special.

Content.

What do you do to make me feel this way?

At times, something.

Most of the times, nothing at all.

I just feel that way coz I love you and I can sense your love if not directly experience it at a given moment.

I just put my head on your shoulder and I forget all the worries and sorrows in the world.

Cuddled in your arms, I hear your heart beating against my palm, and time comes to a standstill.

I can’t stop smiling as I look at you coz I’m struck by the fact that I love you like crazy.

And I think of the way you look at me, and I know you love me too…

Isn’t it beautiful, this thing that we have?

So what if we fight? So what if there are times when we can’t bear each other? So what if we’ve often contemplated going our separate ways?

We’re still together… Still going strong… (Just like Shania Twain said…)

You have the power to make me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet, and you can also make me feel stupid and helpless. I effortlessly label you a complete jerk, and my trust in you can help you move mountains.

If not love, what is it?

You get me flowers I love and gifts I don’t like, I give you chocolates you relish and gifts you don’t find stylish enough.

We’re both learning. We’re both growing. As individuals and a couple. And there’s tons more to come. A zillion more experiences in the wings, waiting for us to embrace them and come out stronger.

Closer.

Inseparable.

The simplest of things that I do with you become my most cherished moments. Something as routine as making tea to making love. The way you tease me and I poke fun at your mannerisms and habits. The funny things we say to each other in fights and tricky situations… It’s all so adorable.

Unforgettable.

I love you.

Will it last?

I think so.

Relations die. Love never does.

So what if you irritate me by acting silly? So what if I stress you by asking for more than you think you can do? So what if we want to pull out each others’ hair for crazy reasons?

We’re still together…

And I know we can live through this.

Isn’t that what love is all about?

True, things won’t be exciting all the time. There will be times when we think we’re better off alone.

But are we?

Am I?

Not when I think of the beautiful memories you’ve given me.

Are you?

(You’re definitely not, if you ask me. You’d wreck your life if you were allowed to do your own thing.)

I can visualize our perfect life together. Where you don’t drink every day, and I don’t have to nag about pending chores. Where you don’t feel lonely, and I don’t feel detached and forgotten. Where we both know that we’re meant to be. Happy and faithful. Together. Till death do us apart.

It won’t be easy. Nobody said it would be.

But together we’ll do just fine.

Trust me.

(And mend your ways before I flog you!)

Love,

Princess

BPO Bloopers

Once in a BPO, you get stamped in a variety of ways.

I’m not talking about prejudices people harbour or accusations non-BPO people hurl at you. I mean working in a BPO develops some traits in you that are peculiar to this industry.

For example(s)…

I now get ready to swipe my identity card whenever I happen to pass any door. It’s so spontaneous! As soon as I reach a doorway, whether I am at home or at a restaurant, my hand reaches for my I-card (which is obviously not hanging where it does when I’m at office). As we know, security and data privacy are top concerns in a BPO, so you are required to be frisked when you enter/exit and permitted admission to certain areas.

Another really funny thing - most call centre agents (also called customer service executives/representatives) pick up their personal telephones/mobile phones with the call opening they use at work! No, I’m not kidding you… as any agent will readily tell you… So, when a friend calls, the sleepy young man unpretentiously quips, “Thank you for calling XYZ. This is Amos. How can I help you today?” And the caller goes ha ha ha, making the person feel foolish and mortified. Yet resigned to the fact that that is how it is…

All part and parcel of being in a BPO.

Just like losing track time of time, and not following schedules.

I know people who work for BPOs and can sleep for entire days at a stretch. Sleep becomes the be all and end all of their life. They work their shift (which is usually not 9-5) and then their first and last priority remains to catch up on sleep. And considering that most of them stay alone, or with friends, and consume alcohol fairly often, sleeping indefinitely is no great challenge.

They have no clue whether it’s a Tuesday or a Thursday (for obvious reasons, nobody forgets the weekend, nor does anyone forget Monstrous Mondays – assuming that week offs are on weekends). They eat at any odd hour and are not particular about lunch time and dinner time. And more often than not, they are not punctual. Invite or plan something with a BPO employee, and they will definitely arrive an hour late. It’s the just the way they are…

(Yes, I said they. I’m a very organized person, in case you don’t remember/know, and I work by the clock, setting frequent alarms to remind me of various engagements and appointments.)

And well, if you’re late all the time, you can’t get all your to-do’s done for sure. Which means you keep putting off and postponing activities. And then you lose motivation and interest. Procrastination. One of the many things I hate the most. Extremely common among most people employed in the IT and ITeS sector.

This evil, unfortunately, I have acquired over the last few months.

I mean, c’mon ya. When you’re working 5 days (or more) a week and you’re frazzled, you just want to put your feet up and relax over the weekend. There are some chores that do manage to carry out, but others that are optional get pushed away week after week. So I arrange to have my bills paid in time in order to avoid the late fee, but I keep changing the reminder date on my schedule for other non-deadline tasks like shopping, checking out a particular place or catching up with a particular person. My weekends are spent doing nothing with good friends, or spending time with the family so that they don’t complain…

Another thing about being a part of this industry that I do not favour… Smoking and consumption of alcohol. The excuse is “we lead stressful lives, and our jobs give us much agony”. I fail to understand how other professionals are unruffled, it’s not like they have easy jobs. However, we shall abandon that debate for now, considering most people these days smoke and drink. A common word for them all – it’ll ruin you, stop it. If it’s for fun and you know you’re in control, well done. But if you are a compulsive addict, you’re in deep s*** baby.

Oops. I get a feeling I’m getting into the critical/patronizing mode. So, let’s call it quits.

Also, week-offs become more important than weekends (unless you’re in support functions and get fixed Saturdays-Sundays off). So, weekends cease to be forever exciting and motivating… The buzz-word is “weekly off”. And sometimes it’s split… But let’s not get into that snag.

Politics, hypocrisy and gossip – also a part and parcel of BPO life? Well maybe it’s omnipresent. No point condemning just this industry.

However, perception… That’s very important. Like I’ve shared before, you gotta manage your perception better than your performance. If people SEE what they want to see, then your performance can be fudged or fabricated. (That’s not the way I function, though I’ve noticed several people utilize this very effectively and successfully).

Now when I mean perception, I don’t mean only as regards work. It’s also about the things you say and the way you say it. So, what you mean as a joke could become an HR issue if the other person does not take it in the same jovial sense. You gotta watch what you do and you gotta treat people as colleagues, not friends. For most BPO-ittes, colleagues are colleagues and not friends. A lesson I seriously need to learn…

On that note, I say ba-bye… Have a good day!

Be back soon…

Cheerio!
Princess

Lost in Transition

It’s funny when two people love each other, and still can’t seem to lead a happy life together. So many things get in the way – lifestyle, routine, habits, preferences, expectations, desires, prejudices, anxieties and apprehensions…

When I came across this couple, I was really not sure if they were right for each other. Strange are the ways of fate. They fell in love not so long ago, and they seem to be going strong in spirit, even though their daily life is a far cry from blissful and ideal.

His idea of leading a good life is letting each one have his own way and not complaining. Hers is about living each moment together and being one in every way possible. When her philosophy intrudes upon his, she is upset and this, he handles, by cracking silly jokes in a bid to avoid an argument. No points for guessing that the outcome is the exact opposite.

How do I know? She told me.

And she also said what follows… albeit not in the same words…

(This is for you, sweetie… I know how you feel… Don’t worry. Things will be ok, whatever destiny has in store for you and him.)

How do I know? HE told me. The one above :-)

How right is it I wonder; with you around me, I still feel so forlorn.
How right is it – this loneliness of the mind and soul…
Is this how it’s meant to be?

I am so livid; you just don’t seem to understand...
When the one person who should know what I feel,
Stares back at me asking “What’s wrong with you?”

Stop telling me you’re smart and perfect; you’re not.
You are intelligent, and that’s why I am with you…
There’s no need for you to prove it every half hour.

I look at you and see a person so beautiful and wise.
Why then does the splendour turn a shade dull and bright in turns?
I feel like I mean nothing, and yet I know you love me much.

I don’t know what to do, to avoid or to pursue.
If I do the latter, I know you get frustrated.
And if I do the former, I’ll loom in the distance and keep you at bay.

You behave self-sufficient, you critique in ways shockingly mean.
Why do you not believe that I am a part of you?
You can let your guard down, it’s ok; it’s just me, the one you love…

We kicked this off with a smile, and commenced our journey of faith.
Why then do I feel it dwindling – your words have a million unintended meanings.
I’m lost, confused; I don’t know what’s happening within your mind and mine.

I know our life could be divine, if only we’d will it to be,
I see the flame inside you that could light up my life like a thousand torches.
Yet I see that you’re curbing it, not trying hard enough, I wish I knew why.

Is this what you want - this remoteness that makes you feel free and in-charge?
Am I still a choice that you’ve not completely made?
Coz I think that way… I feel that way… And I hate it.

I could keep pushing this turmoil, we could pretend that everything’s fine.
But is it? How right is it – this procrastination and hypocrisy?
Is this how it’s meant to be?

Help me…
Help me help you…
Coz I love you, and I don’t wana go away…

- Princess