Saavan Ka Mahina

I gave up meat for a month during Shravan (also called Saavan), as my mum was fasting and I did not find it right that I enjoy gastronomical pleasures while she has just one meal a day.

Don’t ask me how that one month went. Gosh, August was a disaster! Dinners and parties were no fun. There’s amazing chicken curry at work almost daily, and I had to munch on potatoes, gravy and rice while the rest of my team merrily and hungrily dug into their dreamy chicken preparations. Thank God for mushrooms, paneer and baby corn! What would I have done without you?!!

My mum keeps telling me all the time to quit eating non veg food, but I love it! This one month restriction was not something she requested or ordered; I acted out of my love and dedication for her. It wasn’t due to morals, social pressure, religion or anything. Pyar aur izzat ke liye hum kuch bhi kar sakte hai, right folks?!

Of course, there are individuals who avoid booze and non veg on certain days of the week. It’s such a farce. You get smashed and you hog on meat for 6 days a week, and then on that one day, you want God to be pleased by your sacrifice… Well, each one to his own…

Speaking of which, I begin to wonder about two things. Three actually. One, how does God keep an account of who fasted when and who did not? Two, are the folks who fast more pious and saintly than the ones who don’t? And three, why is it that only women are expected to fast for their husbands and not vice versa?

Anyway… I know some questions don’t have answers, and I am aware that sometimes there is no way to know when a particular answer is right… So, let’s leave it at that.

I wrote about BPO stories a while ago. Here are a few additions to that. About how success goes to some people’s heads. I mean I flipped when I saw this fellow from work behave all high and mighty after he got promoted. He was tremendously sweet and friendly before this event, post which he went a 180 and became conceited and snobby. And it’s not like he became a manager or anything! Every time I look at him, my first thought is… “What a waste! He was so much better, as a person and performer, at his previous post.”

I don’t understand why modesty is such a rare feature in the bottom rungs. And I say this coz I’ve seen people who are top-notch executives, directors and presidents, yet they could easily pass off as clerks and typists, by their hospitability and humility. I firmly stand by such mentality. I’d rather use my power and position to do my work efficiently than to create a rift between me and others. And I deeply respect those who do the same.

Not surprisingly, most of the agents on the production floor at work thought I wouldn’t interact much with them as I was a voice and accent trainer. A “TRAINER”, you see, would only hang around with her own team, and other assistant (AM) and deputy managers (DM); being seen around with agents would mar her image and reputation. I shocked them by not only chatting with them casually but also by preferring them to employees senior in age and rank.

Which kinda reminds me of another thing that has been on my mind for a while… (At the cost of sounding pompous, but bound by my commitment to honesty…) I must admit, I’m so gifted! I don’t truly know what it means to really try hard for something. I got good grades in school and college despite studying much lesser than my peers thanks to an above average IQ. Music and rhythm came naturally, so singing and dancing was a cakewalk. Most other things I tried happened as if I had a flair for them. It’s like I was born with the silver spoon determinant of talent and aptitude.


No wonder then that I feel touched when I see folks strive for something, and disappointed when the effort goes waste. I wish things were easier for them. (Of course, I’ve had my share of bad days when I didn’t ace the scholarship exams in school or didn’t get a strike at the bowling alley. Hardly serious, right?)

Anyway, this was just to say thanks to the lord for blessing me so amply. Love ya, buddy! Good job!

Another thing related to work, and I’ve been told this by more than a few folks, hence sharing it with you. What matters is not performance but perception. The ones who draw attention and project themselves in front of the right people get appreciated more than the individuals slogging backstage. So, ensure that you give the impression that you are doing a lot even if you’re doing zilch. This does not coincide with my values, and I have been unable to use this well-intended suggestion. I’d go as far as to say that this statement upsets, scares and frustrates me. Maybe it could prove beneficial to you…

But not really good for the long run… Right?

Your call…

When I get older, I will be stronger…

- Princess

That Night

She paced back and forth in her backyard. It was almost dawn. The plan was to run away in the dead of night. They were going to elope!

It was final. They could not bear staying away from each other. They knew they would never be allowed by their families and societies to marry. And while they did not want to shame their parents, they could not bear to spend their separate lives unhappy. No, some things had to be done whatever the price. And as long as it involved the two of them being together, no price was too high to pay. She was sure. He was certain. The rest would work out. In time. They were confident.

She muttered to herself. What was taking him so long? Someone or the other could come by any minute and ask her what she was doing outside so late at night. They would look at her bag and wonder. It would not take them too long to figure out. True, they would not know who the guy was; she had ensured that she never made any direct reference to him. But that was a minor detail. Running away from home was the greater sin.

She looked at her cell phone. It was almost three quarters of an hour over and above the appointed time. Drat! Trust him never to make it anywhere on time! Not even on this momentous occasion! This was ridiculous. How annoying could he be!

Uh oh, but here was another problem. In her excitement, she had forgotten to charge her mobile phone. It had just one bar of battery left. Another couple of minutes and her cell would conk off, leaving her lost and confused.

Her heart raced. She could not believe all of this was actually happening. She was worried about how it would all end.

Her battery was almost dead. She thought she would switch it off once and switch it on again. This sometimes increased the battery life by a couple of minutes.

Switch off.

Wouldn’t switch on.

Pressed harder.

Still dead.

Panic.

She pressed the power button a little harder.

The battery came to life.

Relief.

Tweet tweet… Sms!

“Hi baby. I have lost my way. But I know I am just a minute away from you.”

Anger. Darn his screwed up sense of direction!

The battery conked off again.

The sound of an engine being killed reached her. She was terrified. Who could it be at this hour?

She slunk to a corner waiting for whoever it was to go away. She hoped nobody would catch her.

She tried to switch on her handset again.

The cell powered on. Whew! She better find out quickly where this guy was philandering in the night.

Tring tring…

“Babes I’ve been trying to call you for the last five minutes! Where are you?”

“Right here, waiting. Where are you?”

“At your door! Come out fast!”

She ran out, not even bothering to cut the phone.

There he was… Grinning in his usual, stupid way.

She hugged him.” I thought you’d never come!”

“Oh baby, I took a wrong turn. I couldn’t find your house…”

“Ok enough talk! Let’s run before we’re caught!”

Vroom….

Aah… Was this what was called ecstasy?

She felt ecstatic.

-Princess

Match Fixing

This ain’t about cricket guys… Scat if you thought that!

This is about the matches made in heaven.

And the ones that are formed on earth, too.

Know what this guy told me the other day? He said girlfriends are of two types – the trophy gf, who as we all know, is the sexy woman who basically adorns the guy and raises his status in society. The other kind, he told me, is what he named the “superstar” gf. Check out how he described them… I thought it was very deep, meaningful and true…

Verbatim: “The trophy gf is the one with who you walk into a party holding hands, introduce her to the guests, feel everybody’s eyes on her and feel proud because you own her. Then after some time, when the impression is created, you leave her alone and go hang out with the guys…

… The superstar gf, on the contrary, is the one you really want to be around all the time. You involve her in all your conversations and enjoy being with her.”

Profound, eh? And candidly expressed. Thanks for sharing that with me, Chatty. You say some of the most overwhelming and some atrociously insensitive things. Just being you, I suppose…! But you know I appreciate your verbal, mental and logical competence. Keep it up, and explore more!!

And finally, something that other females of my age and marital situation have been discussing - the suitors they’ve met in a bid to find their perfect mate, and their dilemma in making a choice. In their own words, “What do we ask? How can we find out how that person is just by sitting across a table and talking with them for half an hour? It’s so ridiculous! How can you make a decision for something so important in such a fashion?!!”

Point noted and accepted, ladies. I can understand how that feels, though I’ve not done it myself yet. I mean, “What are your hobbies? What is your ambition? And what qualities are you looking for in your ideal partner?” are really not enlightening enough to help you finalize your life-mate. People can bluff, for all you know, and who knows what they are like when they are being themselves and not open to evaluation?

Let me tell you this… If you ask any Marwari guy if he drinks alcohol, he would say no, either coz he wants to hide the truth or because he has been instructed to say so. The fact is, EVERY guy, Marwari or Mallu or Jain or Marathi boozes. And most smoke, too. And quite a few have smoked up as well. (Which mean cigarettes and drug joints. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is the reality. Closing your eyes to facts doesn’t occlude them.)

I’m strongly against telling lies or hiding the truth. My parents warned me that I might have to give up this value if I wanted to find a good guy in our community, but I couldn’t care less. Relations that begin with a lie can never be open and frank. And what use are such bonds? I’d rather have someone tell me how many affairs he had, rather than lying that he is a virgin. Someone who sincerely tells me he drinks rather than going out secretly with his gang to get sloshed.

Here’s a real incident that happened with me. I am fond of chicken and I do not hesitate in trying new dishes that are non vegetarian. When a Marwari family approached us for my hand in marriage, I was not aware that they had misgivings about eating non veg food. Turns out, while digging around, they came across my blog that spoke about a particular time when I had fish with my brother in Goa. This didn’t go down well with them, and they asked a common contact about this.

This common contact advised I say that I had nothing to do with that blog and that I claim I’m vegetarian. I said nothing doing, I am what I am, and if such small things are issues then I have a fair idea how free I am going to be in that family. My own parents have never denied me anything or forced me to do or not do anything. So, I would be only too happy to refuse this proposal. Coz I certainly cannot lie or be bound for life. I am a mature and responsible adult, and I know what’s right and not right for me. Take it or leave it.

This is me, guys and girls. Proud to be who I am.

Take it or leave it.

Cheerio!
Princess

At times like these...

At times like these,
When I am hard at work,
I think of how my heart skips a beat when I get a call from you.
How my cheeks go pink and lips curl,
As if I was asked out for a date for the very first time,
I feel those jitters as I hear your lilting voice,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I walk past a merry couple,
I think of how our fingers intertwine as we saunter together.
Laughing at each other, talking about everything and nothing in particular,
Eyes dancing in delight,
A sense of having the world at our feet,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I have nothing to do,
I think of how your thoughts and memories engulf me.
Left with unsuppressed tears and irrepressible grins,
My heart yearns to be with you,
To feel those moments again,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I lie alone in bed,
I think of how it would feel to have your arms around me.
A sigh escapes my lips,
The feeling of helpless desolation mounts over me,
All I do seems incomplete,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I mull over tomorrow,
I think of how things will be and how life would turn out.
Unsure about everything else, except you,
Knowing that everything is transient and unpredictable,
But you shall stay by my side forever,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I imagine you,
I think about how I have so much faith in you.
What attracts me to you is no mystery,
Yet I can’t see how I have grown so attached to you,
To actually consider my life with you.
And I know I love you…

At times like these,
I know I love you.

And I feel this way about you all the time…

-Princess

The League of Wicked Women

I am SO annoyed.

Seething with fury would be an understatement.

This is why I don’t like women.

Yeah, I’ve said it before, and I say it again, I DON’T LIKE women.

I know I am one, too. That doesn’t change my objective and honest opinion.

I’m proud to say that guys find me one of them and I’m often labeled as a tomboy. No regrets or complaints there. I am glad that I am not found to be petty or bitchy like other chics. The guys can laugh with me and share things with me without being concerned about overly feminine reactions and discussions. Maybe that’s why the girls from the snob category find me weird. Coz I’m not one of them. As I said, no regrets. I’m better off this way.

Why am I on this trip today? Well, I’m extremely cheesed off, that’s what I am. This b**ch has screwed my mood nice and proper, and I can’t even say I’m astonished or taken by surprise. Always knew she was wicked, and have burnt my fingers before. Somehow I thought… (hoped!)… that she’d grown up and mended her nasty ways, but boy, was I mistaken. Once a bad egg, always a bad egg.

The gang decided to get together after eons, and I said ok why not, and we planned a dinner some months ago. It went pretty well and ended decently with promises to meet again soon and keep in touch. All’s well that ends well. Apparently not.

In the excitement of the moment and the joy at our reunion, I forgot to repay a friend a few hundred bucks. (Which I remembered the next day and conveyed I’d wrap up when we got together again.) No sweat. At least not for me, nor for the friend involved. What’s a few hundred bucks anyway? All of us are employed and earn pretty well. And we follow the system where either we go Dutch (unless it’s somebody’s treat), or we pay for each other in turns. I mean that’s the way my other groups function, so I assumed it would be similar. In any case, nobody raised a stink, so I believed everything was hunky-dory.

As I said, apparently not. This friend happened to mention this “debt” to this b**ch… Who relished this thought and chewed over it for goodness knows how long and for goodness knows what reason.

I didn’t hear about it then, which I would have preferred. Nipping misunderstanding and snags in the bud is the best and easiest thing one can do. Obviously being a b**ch, this female wasn’t looking for the straight and simple solution. She dramatized it and possibly stuffed it into every ear that would hear. And I still didn’t know about it; I don’t engage with her much. And am I glad about that now!

So, we met again, not many weeks ago. This time also, there was some issue surrounding the cheque. This b**ch haggled about, computing every drink and every dish that every individual had ordered. While the rest of us would merrily have split the bill and paid equally, she wanted to find out exactly how much she and the others had to pay, right down to the last cent. I was in no mood for Math, nor were the others, so she busied herself looking at the numbers and notes.

When the puzzle was finally solved, it turned out that I was few hundred bucks short of my actual expenditure. I didn’t give it a second thought, and offered to pay by card as I did not have sufficient cash on me. I always carry plastic money – it’s safer and more convenient. So the rest of the gang paid for themselves in cash, and I topped it with the card. Sorted.

Don’t be surprised when I say far from that. The super stinking b**ch claimed that I was trying to doctor the numbers and stack my drinks on the others. What a laugh! Wasn’t she the one who had done the calculations? I didn’t take offence knowing that it was in her nature to create and spread false stories. What certainly hurt me was when she brought up the previous issue involving the other friend.

Now this friend, I have tremendous faith in. I can’t say she’s a great pal of mine, but I’m not uncomfortable hanging around with her coz she’s direct, objective and definitely not cheap. I thought it was quite astounding that she would tell tales about the past episode. However, she might just have mentioned this in passing, which the b**ch caught on to and twisted to suit her warped schemes.

The moment she said I’d taken advantage of this friend, I lost it. I had innate trust in this friend, and so I called her to check whether it was only the b**ch or everyone else who thought that way about me. And her answer was exactly what I expected…

“Anuja, please don’t drag me into this. I have no issues at all. In fact, I told (b**ch) that she shouldn’t have done or said this to you. It was not right of her. Don’t worry, there’s no trouble.”

I said, “I’m glad you don’t think that way. However, I do intend to pay you back for whatever you spent the other day…”

She said, “Look, I don’t want any money. I have no issues whatsoever.”

… That was that..

So, basically, this is how women exploit information to make others of their own kind uncomfortable and upset. And this is not just the trait of this b**ch I’m talking about. It exists in most females - talking bad things about others and not confronting and clarifying things. Unfortunately, I’ve also seen some men like that, but their count remains a handful. At least that’s what I hope. The world would collapse if the number increased too much too soon.

My question remains… Why? Why can’t we all – men and women – be straightforward about what we want, think and dislike? And if we can’t be vocal about it, then why even ponder about it and gossip with others? It’s so unfair.

There was this another incident, a long time ago, when a friend of mine later complained to another friend that we went for dinner outside when her mom had cooked for us at home. Now how the hell am I supposed to know that? Wouldn’t it have been better had she just come up to me and said that that was what was to be done. I wouldn’t have objected or fought with her over it! Women yaaa…

If I sat down to think about each of these times, I’d go bonkers and you’d start staying away from these devils. They will smile sweetly at you when you are looking, and look down at you and whisper mean stuff about you when they think you’re not. True, every woman is not like that. But beware coz most are…

Except the ones that can’t disguise their feelings and can’t lie about their perceptions. Yours truly figures in that category… I’m gona come right up to you and tell you to your face what upset me and what is the ideal thing to do to avoid criticism from others. I know no other way. Like it or not. And I’d love to be treated that way, too.

Can’t dictate and counsel everybody, unfortunately.

Hope those of you who are reading this make an attempt.

Count this as one of my good deeds for mankind – a more genuine and frank approach to life and people.

-Princess

What BlogAdda has to say....
Link : http://blog.blogadda.com/2010/08/31/indian-bloggers-group-top-blog-posts
Who : Anuja Rathi
What : The League of Wicked Women
Tangy : Haah! Have you heard of ‘The league of Wicked Women’? Anuja has this post full of fury directed on some of the women species. An enjoyable read. (Pun intended)

Unforgettable Times

Some occasions stay with you for a long, long time after they’ve actually passed.

Times when you hang out with people that you expect to be boring, and by the end of the day you’re really surprised and unexpectedly happy…

Leme tell you about one of those memorable nights. It wasn’t a party, if by party you mean clubbing and pub-hopping. A dear colleague invited me over to his place to meet his gang of best buddies and spouses. I usually don’t feel very comfortable with a bunch of people who already know each other very well. But this time, I thought I’d go as this guy insisted and promised I’d have a fun, cozy time. Turns out I did. Initially, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I was told that the gang enjoyed playing cards and Uno at their get-togethers. I mean, didn’t we do that way back in school – play board games to kill time?

I was so wrong. Playing a good ol’ game of cards can make you feel de-stressed and happy. And more so, when the gang welcomes you with open arms and takes to you immediately. I loved them and they loved me right back. After the initial hesitation and introduction, we hit it off like I had been there all along. My colleague remarked that I definitely was not the same at work, where I used to behave demure to the point of diffidence. And here I was, shrieking with delight when I played a card right and yelling plaintively when the card machine ejected more than a few cards. (FYI – Uno Attack rocks! Go get yours. I’m planning to buy one soon. It’s much more exciting than the old Uno. Unfortunately, Pune Central did not have it, otherwise I’d be playing that already…)

All the people around were really genial, and my colleague’s mum made me feel a little awkward with the way she hovered around me. It was unsettling at first, but I must admit, she’s a sweetheart. His brother, too; it was almost like he was my own kid bro – the way we gave each other high fives when we were playing, and the way he was taking care of me. It just felt like home. Or maybe, better than home, coz I didn’t have to be on my best behavior or worry about my parents seeing or hearing something they oughtn’t!

Cards, music, hookah, cigarettes and booze did the rounds as did conversation on various topics. Not once did I feel out of place. Not once did I regret going. When the revelry ended, the guys offered to drop me home, and we set off, me humming a tune as usual. At the cost of sounding pompous, I should tell you that I have a fairly melodic voice, especially old songs and romantic or emotional numbers. And so, this guy asked me if I could sing for them all. Which I was more than happy to. And so, giggling and crooning, we all got to my place.

The last I saw them, they were a merry threesome singing “Ek ajnabi haseena se yu mulaqat hogayi…”

Felt nice :-)


But it goes without saying that you needn’t always have a huge group to enjoy a rocking night. There could be just one or two bum-chums and you feel like you’re in the best possible place on earth.


Like when I hang out with my closest mates. It doesn’t matter then whether we have good music or not; our conversations and laughter make the place come alive. Be it at home, or be it at a lounge, be it at a park or at work, life just becomes that much more exciting coz I’m with someone I feel close to, understood by and cared by. So many times come to my mind… If I begin telling, this post will never end!! Carnival, Kiva, Dorabjee, ABC Farms, High Spirits… They bring so many memories alive…

Spending time with family is not always exhilarating – there are few topics you all enjoy talking about, and fewer activities that you mutually enjoy doing. At least with my family – they’re not really the adventurous types who would venture out into the unknown or do things just for experience sake. Yet, there are times when I really enjoy with them. At least I do with my mother. We go out shopping and giggle over silly matters, we buy caramel popcorn or butterscotch cake and hog on it as we gossip, or we go out for a ride and just chill out. (Love ya, Mommy! Your birthday’s approaching! Hurray for the Aug 28!)

And of course those times when you cherish your solitude and tranquility. Like when I relax with a book, or watch TV without having to worry about what to do next… I hate eating out without company, but I am not averse to spending some time alone with myself every now and then. It doesn’t scare or bore me – my own company – I am a fairly interesting person, as most people would readily vouch!!

Life is full of so many precious moments.

Enjoy them all…

Kal Ho Na Ho :-)

-Princess

Raat Ka Nasha

Some things are so beautiful.

A sunset.

A child smiling.

A breeze on a sunny afternoon.

Money in your jeans pocket when you have forgotten.

A long drive on the highway when you need to unwind.

A surprise that you always wanted.

Food cooked by mum.

A best friend’s hug.

A midnight walk.

Midnight walks. Yeah, I love those.

Not alone obviously. Unless I’m chatting on the phone or listening to music. But it’s the best with friends, and especially at times when you don’t say much, just walk together, relishing the peace and silence. Feeling the life in everything alive and inanimate, when your surroundings are fast asleep.

I remember my midnight saunters at Optimos. This was in 2004, while I was still an undergrad studying Psychology at Fergi. Optimos was my first fulltime job, and my office was initially located at Talawade, which is beyond Nigdi / Pimpri. The Kanbay campus where our building was situated had a huge stretch of land where we stretched our legs when we wanted to take a break.

This was usually around 12 or 2 am, as I was working 8 pm to 4 am. And it was as scary as it was exciting and relaxing. A mouse crossing our path and making us jump, an unknown man in the distance, the sound of crickets and lizards, some construction work going on nearby, a desolate building a few meters away… And the stories we made up and shared…

Miss those times… Miss those people... Urmeet’s endless anthology of gossip and tales, teasing and laughing with Gurpreet, coercing Sumant to give his very first musical recital only after I’d promised I’d never tell anybody (which I obviously did not keep)… Those were fun times. Miss you guys.

Now when I think of it, so much bonding happened over that half hour. The darkness shed light over our troubled minds and gave us solutions that we couldn’t come up with at our workstations. The soft breeze refreshed us and made us thank the heavens above for a good job and a good life. Midnight walks rock.

The wonderful effects of our stroll did not end at Talwade. We took this activity with us to City Mall where we moved in 2005. Though the office was close to the University, we could not loiter there, so we walked in the inner lanes and neighborhoods of Bhosale Nagar.

But that was a long time ago. Other walks that still come to my mind as if they were yesterday are the ones in Viman Nagar, Tukaram Nagar (I hope I’ve got that right), Koregaon Park and my society. And of course Mumbai, Pondicherry, Goa, and Mahabaleshwar. I really fancy walks, and the splendor of the night only makes it that much grander.

If I could, I would go for a walk at midnight every day. Maybe even for a swim. Unfortunately, there is no safe walking zone or pool in my vicinity. And even if there was, I believe there would be quite a crowd indulging in the same recreation. How I wish I had my personal ground complete with an Olympic size pool and a walking track surrounded by flowering trees. Sigh… What else could I wish for… I needn’t buy a house in Magarpatta for that now, do I?!! Not something I could afford for sure!

Bas Itna Sa Khwab Hai…

For now

:-)

Dream on!
Princess