Friday, March 13

Alco-Horoscopes


We spoke about cocktails in a previous post.
And I told you about
birthday horoscopes in another one.

Now, here’s both of them together!

We have all done it at some point or the other - eagerly checking for personality pointers, under tags like animals, colors, numbers and what not... THIS is sure different!

What your sunsigns say about YOUR EXPECTED BEHAVIOUR AFTER YOU GET DRUNK!! ;-) Enjoy!

ARIES
Aries like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become aggressive when tipsy, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you - so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night.

TAURUS
Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. A truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede (the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop) who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers. A drunk Taurus is gregarious and it is extremely amusing to drag him to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.

GEMINI
Geminis can drink without changing their behavior much - they're naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and without causig offence, very tricky!) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round - repetition is boring - and may create a theme (like yellow drinks : beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.

CANCER
Cancer is a comfort drinker - and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer can be extra comforting. Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists. In true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you serve up a vanilla vodka and soda.

LEO (That's me!!)
Leo likes to drink and dance - they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue - perhaps not with the one they came with. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.

VIRGO
Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their binge. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure - but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked - but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low-level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the sub genius IQ!

Time out!! Sorry fellas, you gotta come back tomorrow for the rest!

As they say, sabar ka meetha phal ;-)

Raise a toast!!
Princess

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