Aao huzoor tumko... Sitaron mein le chale...
Dil jhoom jaye aise... Baharon mein le chale...
(Naah, m not takin u anywhr up in the heavens. In fact this post may cause a few hard knocks and bumps!)
So, if you have been able to decipher what the title meant, it indicates you’re fairly familiar with foul language. (No arguments entertained on that note. The only points I will accept opinions on are:) Do you use such language often? Do you greet friends with a “Kya be ma*******” and “Kidhar tha ga****”? Do you resort to abuses in unpleasant situations like traffic jams and deceitful transactions?
I do, and I love it. It makes me fit in with the pack. The only thing I need to do is adapt the abuses to the scene – based on language and degree; Hindi among the localites, fancy English swear-words among the heps and hippies, milder ones with extended family and brutally unembellished ones with the crass and crude folks. I tend to get a tad uncomfortable when people more conversant and knowledgeable display their talents, and also wid the timid and refined who drop their jaws at a simple, harmless “chu****”. But all part of the game... The world is full of all kinds of fools...
The other day, a colleague happened to accidentally hit my bike causing it to fall, leading to a bruised seat-cover. Ever the ignorant and unobservant, I noticed nothing outa the ordinary, but my buddy summed up the damage in the 5 magic words “Gaadi ki maa ch** di”... I did not know whether to fret in distress or laugh out loud at his ingenious and meticulous choice of words.
Before that, thanks to my screwed up office internet, I had to visit the net-café for some browsing and mailing. The man did not look too docile and polite, but I certainly wasn’t prepared when he started shouting profanities at a patron who asked why one could not use the internet for 10 minutes... I mean what happened to the good ol’ sharing of info and all that respecting the customer crap? “Bh******, aana nahi idhar wapis. Idhar dikha na toh pair tod dunga tere...” Whew... I almost shit my pants in agony and fear. When one gets aggressive, whether verbally or physically, there are fireworks! The best thing to do is take to heels and get as far as you can... (Reminds me of a song - run away, run away, run away if you want to survive – heard this as a kid thanks to my bro, then on the verge of pubescence, and in the age whr listenin to English songs is the “in” thing).
Which takes me bac to da time when I saw my first fist-fight... Have I told u about it? I think I have, but I’m not too sure. (I keep writing drafts and deleting them so often that I can’t say for sure which ones I actually wrote in the blog and which I deemed unfit... So, if I have shared this, pardon me. Jus proves my stories don’t change over time!) Seated outside Musicworld in Camp (now some sportswear showroom), I heard this resounding thunderclap, and took a minute to grasp the fact that a guy had hit another across the face, the reason being girlfriend-snatching-and-torturing. While the 2 gangs sorted matters out, I was being calmed and soothed by one of my friends who stayed behind to make sure I was not too shaken (maybe he was jus too sissy to be a part of the actual brawl). Anyways, the point is, scuffles and tussles, be it physical or verbal, are very generously seasoned with first-rate slur and slander. In the show called Splitsvilla on a music channel, a coy dame was dared to list 20 abuses, and she did! (Unfortunately, the censors let nuthin pass except the lip-formations, but bcoz they were all laughin so much, it was no help either. Else, I’d be carryin around a wealthier vocabulary with me right now...)
My current vocab is limited to leme see ... about 15 abuses... sad na? And the sadder part is most of them center around the womenfolk... Time we invented some new ones involving new people and relations... Leme know if you know any exciting, intelligent ones! I’m ALL EARS... Hehe!
Other updates? I managed to set hands on the Mahabharata that I have long been pursuing with Crossword (sickly service team they got, unpolished in manner and unhelpful wrt follow-ups). Landmark made a mark, and my pocket’s a grand and half lighter, and so is my heart! Waitin to start reading it... After I finish the 6 S (70 pages left, the actress’ narrative has been the most gripping event until now and the tribal’s the most disheartening). I seem to have misplaced my Memory Keeper’s Daughter (Actually mum, coz she disarrayed my entire book collection in her Diwali cleaning fervor... Grrrr!) About work, all’s well. Little stressful, but bearable. And about frens, I met an M.A.-mate the other day, and connected wid several online. But the greatest surprise was a couple of long-lost guy-frens callin up on the same day after ages!
Bhabi’s bac, and the family is doin well... Mum’s on a mini trip (as usual) wid her fren from Delhi. So, housework eating up on my leisure time. But, I had a great dinner yday (hey, Eid Mubarak!) at a new joint called “Barbeque Nation” in Kalyani Nagar. Amazin concept (they have a live grill in d middle of d table dat u can cook to ur heart’s delight and season wid several harmless-lukin weird-tastin sauces!) and elegant ambience, good service and decent food (starters 5 *, middle course 3 * and desserts 4 *). Which adds up to a pretty interesting evening (and an expensive one at that!)
So, all you *^$%(*$%( and ($&^%*&^$%, have a gr8 weekend and come bac in time for my next post!