Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai

Hi,

Life’s not too great. A few smiles squeeze out a hundred frowns and a million tears in return. Such is life. Unpredictable and unalterable. Yes, I know I said you have a choice to turn it around, but right now I’m too weary battling it to actually devote extra effort to modify it.

On the home front, I feel my family could do without me (which is a dreadful sensation). True friends are scarce, and there’s nothing to look forward to. Living one day after the other, breathing from one evening to the next. Just moving on, coz in life, you cant stay stagnant. If you’re inert, you’re as good as lifeless. But isn’t direction as important as the pace?

I cant believ any1 truly loves me, more than anything and anyone else in this world. And so, m in constant pursuit of evidence to prove the opposite. Much to the annoyance and frustration of those who really love me. I feel terrible later coz I know m bein mean and insecure, but I jus cant seem to let go of this temperament. I crave love and praise in all possible forms, and I cant bear my partner to get complacent and take me for granted like a sack of potatoes. Dats jus me, I guess... I need someone to be so utterly devoted to me, that I’m the centre of his/her universe... Someone who adores and admires, cherishes and (damn, I might as well say it!) WORSHIP me at all times! Wat-da-fish, I deserve it! I’m SO gud (=perfect)... Y wud ppl not like me? I’m intelligent, caring, resourceful, smart, mushy, pampering, stylish, gud at social and domestic stuff... (Well, m more honest than modest!) Yes, egoistic and hard to pls, but jus HOW not-do-able can that be?????

EXTRAORDINARILY.

I agree...

Anyways, enough of my crybaby-talk. The Memory Keeper’s Daughter is progressing beautifully. Alternate chapters are dedicated to the couple with the normal child and the nurse with the abnormal infant. The poignant developments in the book managed to take me further down from my recesses of depression. Hell, I could be as famous (maybe more!) than Prince-in-the-ditch or other babies in rat-holes, in a few days if I continue with this phase...

Another inducement has been sumthin dats huge and brown, wrapd and well-hidden yet imaginable and attractive. It’s tasty, its bumpy, and it’s tough to let go. Excitin and SO wantable! A perfect companion for the MKD (Memory Keeper’s Daughter)... Watcha thinking, perverts?!! I’m describing the Roasted Almond “Temptation” chocolate bar. Good lord!! ;-)

Hey, this is something I must share with u... In the book, the writer also brought to the fore the useless norms that we tend to follow as a society, under the guise of etiquettes, inspite of knowing how exasperating and tiresome they can be. When people are relocating someplace or when they are recovering from an illness, others think it their duty to go say hi. Which is quite possibly the last thing the hosts actually wish. In their frenzy of activity with not a second to spare, they are trying to get on with their work, but when guests arrive, they end up wasting precious time in entertaining them and narrating stories that have been repeated to another set of visitors who jus left... Ask me how irritated I used to get when my mum or uncle were in the hospital, and there was this endless stream of well-wishers (!) who had all the time in the world to dress up and wear lipstick and nod their head at the formal offering of tea/snacks! Grrr... Thank Heavens hospitals don’t have knives and bamboos flung around, else I’d make sure a couple more rooms were filled...

By da way, is pregnancy more advantageous or disadvantageous?

Why I’m asking this? Come back for more!

Send me a ladder someone; need to get outa this abyss.

Lonely Deadpan Princess