Itni shiddat se maine tumhe paane ki khaahish ki hai, ki har zarre ne mujhe tumse milaane ki saazish ki hai.
Kisi cheez ko sacche dil se chaaho toh saari kaynaat tumhe usse milaane mein jud jati hai.
I’m super excited! My blog’s getting noticed, and people from far and wide are commenting and connecting. Thanks a ton, folks! Love ya all...
And psst psst! Simply Marry – a marriage portal has requested my post – Shaadi Ka Ladoo for their website in the bridology section. Yippee!!! Fancy the editor skimming thru my 10-odd disjointed posts to scoop out the relevant record! I’m so honored and glad... Here’s the link : http://www.simplymarryzine.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogcategory&id=20&Itemid=96
Of course, I’m still nowhere in the Blogger blogs of note archives (doesn’t matter anymore coz I heard bloggers on the network for over 5 years haven’t met this goal either. Which clearly indicates there’s sum jhol... India’s not the only one buddy. Internationally bhi hota hai nepotism.) But I sure am enjoying all the attention! Quite a Leo, eh!
So my brother dint tell mum he had the day off. Big deal? Yes. Coz his wife knew and my mum dint. Also coz he and his wife planned to lunch together and my mum dint know about that either.
The point being that my brother adores my mum (or at least used to, before he got married). There was no secret about the fact that he worshipped my mum. So obviously, he shared everything with her and gave her the lowdown on things he would never ever tell anyone in the world. Obviously Maa returned his affection with fervor and they were a pair (much to my agony and frustration). All until now. He’s been married for around 20 months now, and suddenly there have been too many things my mum doesn’t know about. I know the guy’s settling down now with the wife, so this rift will only increase with time. Pretty much like when my mum married my dad and dad shifted his priorities from his mum to mine. But come on, mom’s clearly going to be hurt. It wasn’t as if she was stopping either of them from spending time together. She just expected to be told in advance... I’m on her side. I’m her daughter. I’ll stand by her. When she’s right I’ll protect her. When she’s wrong I’ll also protect her (but don’t suppose I’m gona let her off; she’ll hear from me.)
Why does this happen? Why does an absolute stranger become so important that one can forsake his own blood and kin? And this isn’t directed to anyone in particular, readers. I mean everyone. Be it a friend or boy/girlfriend or spouse. Even I have turned my back on my family several times as I pursued my love for 3 years. I have lied to them and fought with them as I painted the town red with my friends. All the time I regarded them as my adversaries, out to ruin my fun and happiness, and outsiders were my saviors and ideals. Now when I look back, I see the truth of it all. The concern behind my parents’ harsh words and their fear for my safety. The plans they cancelled coz they had to attend to me and my needs. The pain they must have felt when I spoke back to them or did something against their wishes or likes. All the freedom they had given me, all the things they had never got in their childhood and youth but made available to me – I took it all for granted, and demanded more, more, more. Young blood. Half-understood world and scantily-scrutinized people. Rose-tinted glasses and huge impossible dreams. Argumentative bile and silly notions. Inane comparisons and shallow, senseless teenage norms.
Now when the lovers have gona away, and friends have faded, my parents are what I have left. Coz they didn’t leave me.
I fear to think about my fate had my parents disowned me. I’m an absolute blot on the Marwari community. Having done it all, right from modeling to traveling in secret to going for parties and getting sloshed. I said I was living my life, and I wouldn’t get these days back again. But what about them? They could not live their childhood due to meager resources and strict rules, nor their youth due to societal pressures, and not their current age either coz now the kids have grown and it is they who dominate the scene.
Such is the state of all Indian couples by far that got married in the 70s and 80s. Those that adapted to changing times and values continue to live life satisfactorily. The rest cease to enjoy a moment of bliss. I guess this is why American kids move outta their houses away from their families so that both can enjoy happy lives without encroaching on the other. Familiarity breeds contempt. Distance preserves relations and peace. Detach and carry on, with emotional baggage and expectations your life will only give heartache.
But where am I heading? Did not have this in mind as I embarked on this post. Destiny I guess. My hands and brain get a mind of their own once I start thinking about my blog. There’s so much to say and so much to share.
Anyways, leme wind this up with a heartfelt apology to my parents and all you other parents out there, too. We, as kids don’t realize how much we wound you. But we don’t intend it. We actually love you; it’s just that we have some ends in mind that contradict with your views and hence, the chaos. We know you want our good. But after you warn us once, leave us to our fate. We’ll only end up hating you for smothering and restricting us. Once we suffer for what we do, we’ll be more mature and obedient. Our aches pain you, but we need it. We deserve it. And the practical self-gained knowledge.
I have more than a few ideas about how I’ll bring up my kids. But time will tell what actually happens and how my beliefs change. By the way, I haven’t shared the names of my babies with you! If it’s a gal – Jia. If a boy – Jai. Another gal? No worries - Ria! And a guy again? Dev... Sounds good? Short and sweet... Another name that I love (don’t think I’ll be wanting to have any more after I have 4, so u can adopt the name for your litter!) – Abhimanyu. (Nope, haven’t started the Mahabharata yet, but the name’s been on my mind for quite a while).
(Oh oh, you dropped in here a li'l late - the name's taken now! Breaking news! Congrats, Puch! You get to keep the name for your kid! Take a bow, boy! Take a bow!)
P.S. : Now that you folks have already reached here, you obviously know I've changed my blog's url to http://anujarathi.blogspot.com/ . (It was initially http://life-lonelyprincess.blogspot.com/) Someone very smart told me it was foolish to not have your own name in your blog url. So, I took his advice and changed it. Hope my readers don't stray away coz the old link doesn't pull up!! I'm right here, guys. Ain't going nowhere...