The Taste of Love

Loving you has made me complete,
Loving you has made me fear.
My soul-mate, oh darling precious,
Wherever I go, you seem near.
My heart rejoices at your memory,
The pain of distance is vile.
A moment away from you is unending,
A tiny step appears a mile.

An enthralling, satiated hunger,
Like harmony in times of furor.
Being with you is special,
Like nothing I’ve felt before.
I ask myself a million times,
What draws me to you.
What is it that makes you seem mine,
And I belong to you, too.

It’s funny, the way life has changed,
I look around with eyes brand new.
All that I perceive appears brilliant,
And all my worries seem so few.
I’d do anything to see you beam,
Ask for the world and I’d make it yours.
But within me I know it’s only my love,
That will keep you warm when it pours.

Inexorable is the inception of change,
Seasons have come and seasons depart.
I will remain ever so faithful and true,
Each time you call upon me with your heart.
Ask me what I want in return,
My answer shall stay the same.
Be with me till the end of time,
And let soul-mates be our middle name.

-Princess

Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder if things are always black or white.
At times grey feels just so right.
You know it’s not perfect, still you smile.
And decide to linger a little while.

Sometimes I wonder if success really matters.
Does happiness not come to those in tatters?

Sometimes I wonder if prayers and hopes are heard.
Are they coincidences that just occurred?
If all were to be free of sorrow.
What would we look forward to tomorrow?


Sometimes I wonder if rivers were ordained to flow.
Or would they, like ponds, prefer to stay and grow.

Sometimes I wonder if destiny is really unassailable.
Making our life a harsh truth or an absurdly marvelous fable.
When what you do or think doesn’t matter no more.
Everything is an illusion – the rim and the core.

Sometimes I wonder if people are really what they seem.
Evil, weird or like a dream.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s meant to be.
You and me.
We laugh and care, share and berate.
Feels so right, yet we hesitate.

Sometimes I wonder …

- Princess

Saavan Ka Mahina

I gave up meat for a month during Shravan (also called Saavan), as my mum was fasting and I did not find it right that I enjoy gastronomical pleasures while she has just one meal a day.

Don’t ask me how that one month went. Gosh, August was a disaster! Dinners and parties were no fun. There’s amazing chicken curry at work almost daily, and I had to munch on potatoes, gravy and rice while the rest of my team merrily and hungrily dug into their dreamy chicken preparations. Thank God for mushrooms, paneer and baby corn! What would I have done without you?!!

My mum keeps telling me all the time to quit eating non veg food, but I love it! This one month restriction was not something she requested or ordered; I acted out of my love and dedication for her. It wasn’t due to morals, social pressure, religion or anything. Pyar aur izzat ke liye hum kuch bhi kar sakte hai, right folks?!

Of course, there are individuals who avoid booze and non veg on certain days of the week. It’s such a farce. You get smashed and you hog on meat for 6 days a week, and then on that one day, you want God to be pleased by your sacrifice… Well, each one to his own…

Speaking of which, I begin to wonder about two things. Three actually. One, how does God keep an account of who fasted when and who did not? Two, are the folks who fast more pious and saintly than the ones who don’t? And three, why is it that only women are expected to fast for their husbands and not vice versa?

Anyway… I know some questions don’t have answers, and I am aware that sometimes there is no way to know when a particular answer is right… So, let’s leave it at that.

I wrote about BPO stories a while ago. Here are a few additions to that. About how success goes to some people’s heads. I mean I flipped when I saw this fellow from work behave all high and mighty after he got promoted. He was tremendously sweet and friendly before this event, post which he went a 180 and became conceited and snobby. And it’s not like he became a manager or anything! Every time I look at him, my first thought is… “What a waste! He was so much better, as a person and performer, at his previous post.”

I don’t understand why modesty is such a rare feature in the bottom rungs. And I say this coz I’ve seen people who are top-notch executives, directors and presidents, yet they could easily pass off as clerks and typists, by their hospitability and humility. I firmly stand by such mentality. I’d rather use my power and position to do my work efficiently than to create a rift between me and others. And I deeply respect those who do the same.

Not surprisingly, most of the agents on the production floor at work thought I wouldn’t interact much with them as I was a voice and accent trainer. A “TRAINER”, you see, would only hang around with her own team, and other assistant (AM) and deputy managers (DM); being seen around with agents would mar her image and reputation. I shocked them by not only chatting with them casually but also by preferring them to employees senior in age and rank.

Which kinda reminds me of another thing that has been on my mind for a while… (At the cost of sounding pompous, but bound by my commitment to honesty…) I must admit, I’m so gifted! I don’t truly know what it means to really try hard for something. I got good grades in school and college despite studying much lesser than my peers thanks to an above average IQ. Music and rhythm came naturally, so singing and dancing was a cakewalk. Most other things I tried happened as if I had a flair for them. It’s like I was born with the silver spoon determinant of talent and aptitude.


No wonder then that I feel touched when I see folks strive for something, and disappointed when the effort goes waste. I wish things were easier for them. (Of course, I’ve had my share of bad days when I didn’t ace the scholarship exams in school or didn’t get a strike at the bowling alley. Hardly serious, right?)

Anyway, this was just to say thanks to the lord for blessing me so amply. Love ya, buddy! Good job!

Another thing related to work, and I’ve been told this by more than a few folks, hence sharing it with you. What matters is not performance but perception. The ones who draw attention and project themselves in front of the right people get appreciated more than the individuals slogging backstage. So, ensure that you give the impression that you are doing a lot even if you’re doing zilch. This does not coincide with my values, and I have been unable to use this well-intended suggestion. I’d go as far as to say that this statement upsets, scares and frustrates me. Maybe it could prove beneficial to you…

But not really good for the long run… Right?

Your call…

When I get older, I will be stronger…

- Princess

That Night

She paced back and forth in her backyard. It was almost dawn. The plan was to run away in the dead of night. They were going to elope!

It was final. They could not bear staying away from each other. They knew they would never be allowed by their families and societies to marry. And while they did not want to shame their parents, they could not bear to spend their separate lives unhappy. No, some things had to be done whatever the price. And as long as it involved the two of them being together, no price was too high to pay. She was sure. He was certain. The rest would work out. In time. They were confident.

She muttered to herself. What was taking him so long? Someone or the other could come by any minute and ask her what she was doing outside so late at night. They would look at her bag and wonder. It would not take them too long to figure out. True, they would not know who the guy was; she had ensured that she never made any direct reference to him. But that was a minor detail. Running away from home was the greater sin.

She looked at her cell phone. It was almost three quarters of an hour over and above the appointed time. Drat! Trust him never to make it anywhere on time! Not even on this momentous occasion! This was ridiculous. How annoying could he be!

Uh oh, but here was another problem. In her excitement, she had forgotten to charge her mobile phone. It had just one bar of battery left. Another couple of minutes and her cell would conk off, leaving her lost and confused.

Her heart raced. She could not believe all of this was actually happening. She was worried about how it would all end.

Her battery was almost dead. She thought she would switch it off once and switch it on again. This sometimes increased the battery life by a couple of minutes.

Switch off.

Wouldn’t switch on.

Pressed harder.

Still dead.

Panic.

She pressed the power button a little harder.

The battery came to life.

Relief.

Tweet tweet… Sms!

“Hi baby. I have lost my way. But I know I am just a minute away from you.”

Anger. Darn his screwed up sense of direction!

The battery conked off again.

The sound of an engine being killed reached her. She was terrified. Who could it be at this hour?

She slunk to a corner waiting for whoever it was to go away. She hoped nobody would catch her.

She tried to switch on her handset again.

The cell powered on. Whew! She better find out quickly where this guy was philandering in the night.

Tring tring…

“Babes I’ve been trying to call you for the last five minutes! Where are you?”

“Right here, waiting. Where are you?”

“At your door! Come out fast!”

She ran out, not even bothering to cut the phone.

There he was… Grinning in his usual, stupid way.

She hugged him.” I thought you’d never come!”

“Oh baby, I took a wrong turn. I couldn’t find your house…”

“Ok enough talk! Let’s run before we’re caught!”

Vroom….

Aah… Was this what was called ecstasy?

She felt ecstatic.

-Princess

Match Fixing

This ain’t about cricket guys… Scat if you thought that!

This is about the matches made in heaven.

And the ones that are formed on earth, too.

Know what this guy told me the other day? He said girlfriends are of two types – the trophy gf, who as we all know, is the sexy woman who basically adorns the guy and raises his status in society. The other kind, he told me, is what he named the “superstar” gf. Check out how he described them… I thought it was very deep, meaningful and true…

Verbatim: “The trophy gf is the one with who you walk into a party holding hands, introduce her to the guests, feel everybody’s eyes on her and feel proud because you own her. Then after some time, when the impression is created, you leave her alone and go hang out with the guys…

… The superstar gf, on the contrary, is the one you really want to be around all the time. You involve her in all your conversations and enjoy being with her.”

Profound, eh? And candidly expressed. Thanks for sharing that with me, Chatty. You say some of the most overwhelming and some atrociously insensitive things. Just being you, I suppose…! But you know I appreciate your verbal, mental and logical competence. Keep it up, and explore more!!

And finally, something that other females of my age and marital situation have been discussing - the suitors they’ve met in a bid to find their perfect mate, and their dilemma in making a choice. In their own words, “What do we ask? How can we find out how that person is just by sitting across a table and talking with them for half an hour? It’s so ridiculous! How can you make a decision for something so important in such a fashion?!!”

Point noted and accepted, ladies. I can understand how that feels, though I’ve not done it myself yet. I mean, “What are your hobbies? What is your ambition? And what qualities are you looking for in your ideal partner?” are really not enlightening enough to help you finalize your life-mate. People can bluff, for all you know, and who knows what they are like when they are being themselves and not open to evaluation?

Let me tell you this… If you ask any Marwari guy if he drinks alcohol, he would say no, either coz he wants to hide the truth or because he has been instructed to say so. The fact is, EVERY guy, Marwari or Mallu or Jain or Marathi boozes. And most smoke, too. And quite a few have smoked up as well. (Which mean cigarettes and drug joints. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is the reality. Closing your eyes to facts doesn’t occlude them.)

I’m strongly against telling lies or hiding the truth. My parents warned me that I might have to give up this value if I wanted to find a good guy in our community, but I couldn’t care less. Relations that begin with a lie can never be open and frank. And what use are such bonds? I’d rather have someone tell me how many affairs he had, rather than lying that he is a virgin. Someone who sincerely tells me he drinks rather than going out secretly with his gang to get sloshed.

Here’s a real incident that happened with me. I am fond of chicken and I do not hesitate in trying new dishes that are non vegetarian. When a Marwari family approached us for my hand in marriage, I was not aware that they had misgivings about eating non veg food. Turns out, while digging around, they came across my blog that spoke about a particular time when I had fish with my brother in Goa. This didn’t go down well with them, and they asked a common contact about this.

This common contact advised I say that I had nothing to do with that blog and that I claim I’m vegetarian. I said nothing doing, I am what I am, and if such small things are issues then I have a fair idea how free I am going to be in that family. My own parents have never denied me anything or forced me to do or not do anything. So, I would be only too happy to refuse this proposal. Coz I certainly cannot lie or be bound for life. I am a mature and responsible adult, and I know what’s right and not right for me. Take it or leave it.

This is me, guys and girls. Proud to be who I am.

Take it or leave it.

Cheerio!
Princess

At times like these...

At times like these,
When I am hard at work,
I think of how my heart skips a beat when I get a call from you.
How my cheeks go pink and lips curl,
As if I was asked out for a date for the very first time,
I feel those jitters as I hear your lilting voice,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I walk past a merry couple,
I think of how our fingers intertwine as we saunter together.
Laughing at each other, talking about everything and nothing in particular,
Eyes dancing in delight,
A sense of having the world at our feet,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I have nothing to do,
I think of how your thoughts and memories engulf me.
Left with unsuppressed tears and irrepressible grins,
My heart yearns to be with you,
To feel those moments again,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I lie alone in bed,
I think of how it would feel to have your arms around me.
A sigh escapes my lips,
The feeling of helpless desolation mounts over me,
All I do seems incomplete,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I mull over tomorrow,
I think of how things will be and how life would turn out.
Unsure about everything else, except you,
Knowing that everything is transient and unpredictable,
But you shall stay by my side forever,
And I know I miss you.

At times like these,
When I imagine you,
I think about how I have so much faith in you.
What attracts me to you is no mystery,
Yet I can’t see how I have grown so attached to you,
To actually consider my life with you.
And I know I love you…

At times like these,
I know I love you.

And I feel this way about you all the time…

-Princess