Men's Rules

Hiya!

Did you know that today is celebrated as International Men's Day?!!
Best wishes gentle (and not so gentle) men!!

This post comes out to all you poor males who are sick of handling your women and bugged of their zillion complaints.

(Hardly an exception, is there?!!)

I agree, ladies are just TOO complicated!!

(Though I gave you some fine tips in The Secret. Hope you've used and benefitted from them.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. How men always do the wrong things, and fail to fulfil basic expectations...

Now here are the rules from the male side. A forward that I recently received (from an unknown man, who I requested to remove me from his forwards mailing list; but I'm glad he sent me this one!!)

These are the rules...
All numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! ;-)

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

1. 'Yes' and 'No' are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Any illness that lasts 17 months is serious; go see a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Tee hee hee... Rib-tickling and side-splitting...
That's the way men are, and we love them for it, now dont we girls??!!!

(Okay, we don't... However, lets just say it this once... It's their day, ladies!! We'll give them hell for this starting tomorrow. Fine?!!)

Love,
Princess