Online Yog Shibir

I’m usually very proud of my Mom.

And my pride multiplies significantly when she stands up for herself and voices her priorities. (Also when she watches TV shows like Roadies!)

However, I was not very sure how to react the other day when I saw her flicking the channels and coming to a halt on Aastha (that’s a TV channel, in case you don’t know).

The reason was... There was a session going on featuring Yog Rishi Ramdev Baba, India’s self-proclaimed Lord of the masses, the messiah of good health and the prophet of smart living.

No offence, but hey, this guy looks weird. His scrawny physique is by no means aesthetic, and his ample beard and hair sure make looking at him a highly unpleasant experience. If regular exercise and meditation can make you look this way... Then thanks, but no thanks.

So, this dude was explaining how one should live on a daily basis in order to be healthy. And mum, being the health freak that she is, could not resist this ready-on-a-platter info that the Babaji was broadcasting, in his distinctive style. Having nothing else more notable to do, I thought I’d watch.

He began by advocating the use of the Indian-style loo for passing your stool every morning. (If you find my choice of words distasteful, you ought to have seen him actually emulating the action.) He explained that the western loo is good for those that have some illness or dis-ease, but the best way to s**t is to sit down and do it like the Indians (or shall I say - like the Indians “DID”...) After all, it’s an animal virtue to stand and do all their stuff like ingesting and excreting.

Jade Goody did it to Shilpa Shetty and it’s now Ramdeo’s turn to hit back. He observed how Westerners don’t wash their bums after the call of nature, just as Jade remarked that Indians wash their backside with the same hand they eat with. (Which is better, you be the judge!)

Quite an engaging sequence of revelations, eh? Read on...

Here are some habits you could truly imbibe. They’re simple and they “look” healthy, if you know what I mean. Like not having curds at night, or not having milk with salt (now that’s not so difficult!) The part that I find a little tricky is waking up early in the morning, and early means no later than sunrise. Apparently, you stay healthy and wise if you beat the sun every dawn, and you live a long life. (I wonder how magnificent that longevity will be if you are supposed to sleep early each night!)

Back to the uncomplicated stuff. You should not drink water while standing (animal habits, remember?) You should sit down and NOT gulp your water, take it in slow and easy. Recall that each time you intake a few gallons you tend to burp? That’s what happens – gas – when you drink too much too fast. And gas is no use to the body. Besides, it causes arthritis and joint pain in the knees, back, spine, etc. Also, drink water an hour after meals – aids digestion, I think.

The other tips he gave were that you should rub oil on your face everyday for a few minutes if you want glowing skin. (Mum insists I apply all kinds of silly stuff like ripe papaya and banana paste on my face for shining skin. Too much of a bother and stink!!)

Hope you find this info useful and put it to better use than I do.

(And hope my mum stays away from the Aastha and Sanskar channels.)

Amen!

-Princess

P.S : If you're among those who have a holiday for Maharashtra Day tomorrow, and then Saturday-Sunday, then I'm envying you... Coz I gotta come to work half-day on Saturday... And hey, those of you in Mumbai, pls go to cast your vote today. Don't just take off somewhere coz you're getting a long break! Citizenship ke kuch farz bhi hote hai, yaaro!