One + One = Eleven (??)

The wedding season is here again!

(Congrats Neeta, Vishweta, Abhijeet, Sayali, Rujuta, Gaurangi, Amruta, Rahul and all you others whose names I’ve not mentioned here for space/privacy reasons. Wish you all happy wedded lives!)

As you can read above, a lot of my batch mates – both from school and college, are tying the knot – amongst themselves, or with “sundar, shahani, layak pora and pori” (=smart, pretty and eligible young men and women) searched by their families from around the globe.

Conversations with friends (or even other folks) sooner or later land up on the topic of bachelorhood and impending matrimony. I’m wondering if this is creating any kind of stress among those that are yet single or in the market out-for-grabs. The pressure is not just on marriageable “kids” but also their parents, who are busy searching for potential brides and grooms as a primary task.

I have been ruminating on the concept of “peer pressure” over the last few weeks. How the same peer pressure that acts upon a person as a child, also continues to affect an individual when he/she gets married and has a job. And that’s not the end! Peer pressure also operates among the elderly in various pertinent ways. Owing to influence by age-mates, a school-going kid learns to smoke/smoke up, a professional takes up a responsibility or position he/she does not enjoy, and the grandfather starts using purgative when his digestive system is doing great!

I’m not saying peer pressure is always bad. If peer pressure makes you vote, it’s great!

(Pune went to the polls today. I hope you voted, too! The media and youth made tremendous efforts to get people to the polling booths, and I’m hoping this will create a strong government with able people in the times to come. Amen.)

So why exactly am I talking about this? Coz I’ve been wondering how people cower down and identify themselves with the gang that they hang out with. The adapted habits could be voluntarily chosen, subconsciously accepted or internalized simply through the fear of being bullied or ridiculed. Like when I used to spend entire days at CCD while in junior college, I used to meet a bunch of friends regularly, most of who used to smoke and dope. While there was no force on me to start doing the same, there were others who decided to try it, and then continued doing it coz it looked “cool” and made them feel like partners-in-crime. Now when I meet those buddies again, they smirk how they stupidly joined the rat race in a bid to “fit-in” and create an impression. Some have got off their addictions, others are still enjoying their definitions of style and youthfulness. Each one to his own.

I believe values and principles play a major role in what you choose to do, and what you choose not to do. For me, drinking might be acceptable, but for someone else, eating meat could be a bigger crime than doing drugs. Hence, we really cannot say what is right and wrong. People grow up with their own unique experiences, they meet a different set of individuals, they belong to various groups... And thus, the final product, that is the person, is possibly the best he/she could be. And if we can accept that, well and good. Else, who cares?!!

I care. For people who are close to me. For people I’ve known for a long time. For people that mean something to me. And so, I try to change them. Not for selfish gains, but for their own good. Which is why I shout on you, M, when you let people walk all over you. Or you, S, when you do something that is bad for you in anyway – personal or professional. Or you, N, when you go out of your way to do something for those that don’t deserve it. I know I should keep my trap shut and let you do what you guys please, after all, it’s your life and your choice. But I care... And I speak... And I get hated... But that’s OK... As long as I know you’re OK...

Well, I’ve sure come a long way from where the post started. So, let me retrace my steps. Orkut and Facebook are abuzz with pictures and status messages that are informing the network about people’s engagements, weddings and babies. It delights me to see those that I hung out with as a kid or teenager, now taking vows of love and loyalty. It is a little difficult, I admit, coz the person suddenly seems older and distanced, but it sure is a happy occasion. I just find it weird that people don’t want to invite their school and college buddies to their grand ceremonies. What could the reason be? Too many guests to invite? Not worthy enough? Too much expenditure? I’m guessing...

Hey people, I’m gona post a public announcement when I tie the knot. I want you all to come, regardless of how many times we’ve met or whether we were close or not. Coz each one of you is special to me. And I want you to join me on my special day.

(Nope, it’s not happening anytime soon. Shall let you know when the pipeline’s buzzing!!)

So, be ready to block your calendars.
This is one smile you owe me for all the times my blog has made you smile :-)

Cheers!
Anuja