Loving someone you can’t forgive?
Or loving someone you can’t have?
(Sorry about the title, cudnt think of an apt one. Suggestions highly solicited)
I’ve been thru a few blogs lately, and man, have they been superloaded! I mean they’r so content-heavy and intended to disseminate knowledge in the author-respective domains, that I feel quite the fool for writing about my mundane experiences and crazy rambles. I guess I have a lot more nothing to do than most people, and this nothing gives me a lot more vent-worthy knowledge and intuition than it does to non-writing folks...
I wasn’t feelin particularly peaceful and happy yesterday, and in my upset state, looking for a victim, I found one in the form of a neighbor who was throwing stones to scare away a cat perched on top of her flat ledge. She wasn’t exactly ‘innocent’, and she did deserv d lashing I gave, as her carelessly flung pebbles wer hitting the cars standing below with possible threat of getting dented. Tho my yelling gave me temporary relief, and a sense of righteousness, I mentally was feeling guilty of having hurt her... And today whn I saw her avoidin my gaze, I had an impulse to set thins right... I did, and m feeling so much better... Indeed, merely speaking a few words of love and care beats any temporary satisfaction you get by expressin anger.
I’m currently reading The Palace of Illusions by my fav author, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. It’s a luvly book, one that captures the essence and drama of the Mahabharata from a woman’s point of view – Draupadi - d unwanted gift of Gods to the king Drupad, adored sister of Dhrishtadyumna (hope I spelt dat rite), princess of Panchaal (“Panchaali”), wife to the 5 Pandavas, friend to Krishna, secret admirer of Karna... and with a hundred other descriptions and anchors. My mum luvs mythology and can recite entire sagas by heart, so it makes fun discussions as both of us share this stuff dat m reading... Its amazing, m actually looking forward to reading d complete epic whn I get d time... It’s so full of interesting mini-stories; stories of vengeance, stories of intelligence and wit, stories of humor, and stories of anger and pain, stories mystic, stories of victories and loss, stories of birth and stories of death. A perfect blend of all the human emotions intertwined with non-human abilities and qualities. I wish I cud share a few stories wid u, bt each has its own history and widespread links, so they wouldn’t make sense altogether whn I narrate them in isolation and brevity. Besides I think I bored you enuf wid Shantaram ;-)
Aren’t d rains funny? I mean they’re here one moment n gone d next... But do we need them? Lord, m sick of these power cuts already! D load-shedding sched reads 6 hours a day, can u believ dat?!! Fortunately, dats nt hapg yet (touch wood!), but I hope d monsoon dsnt dismay d farmers n villagers much... Me? I’m ok either ways, as long as d rains dnt mess my plans n wanderings! It’s great to watch d downpour parked in d balcony, sippin hot ginger tea. But it aint so delightful when u riding wid glasses, shuddering at d screeching brakes, struggling to avoid a few bumps n basically trying to get home in one piece...
Wat m I upto? Nuthin much; jus d usual office n home merry-go-round. Settled into the “working adult” sched so nuthin too exciting or unpland occurring. However, getting up early is sumthin dats jus as painful as d gud ol’ days. To tear yourself up from the warm sheets and set foot on d cool floor (thank god I got house slippers!) is a terrific nightmare. Hey, m watchin Hole in d Wall on Pogo these days. It’s a fun, timepass prog whr guess wat?! Thr is a wall n thrs a hole in it n 2 teams have to pass thru d hole using different strategies and combinations. D witty Cyrus Sahukar is hosting it, so u can get a few laughs thr.
Rest... Linked-in is going gung-ho as is surfing for work n pleasure. Job goin well, too. Creating a module for confidence building at the moment. Looking forward to a 130-participant HSBC program at Le Meridian, Jaipur in mid-Aug. They say d hotel’s got grounds huge enuf to play elephant polo! Hollering WOW....
By d way, eclipse on rite now... so stay indoors till 6 pm IST n dnt eat or drink or do anything... u cud read d Hanuman Chalisa if u wanta obey my mum... here's d link for d fast food gen ;-)http://hanumanchalisa.org/cha.htm
Keep d grin up!