Tuesday, October 9
Jhakk and Luck
Your best friend and worst enemy.
So many of us would have been such better people without this phenomenon.
A young girl with stars in her eyes wanting to study abroad, an old man who keeps waiting to see his grandson but is often told the family’s too busy to visit, a teenager who desires a gadget that his parents promised but never got, a lover who does everything for her partner only to be told time and again how she has screwed his life and happiness, a professional who worked hard all year round only to be told that somebody else shall be winning the alpha numero position…
And then you are told to not be low and keep up your strength and perseverance, to not lose hope, time will pass, everything will be all right, god has better things in store, destiny and blah.
If you ask me, destiny has very little to do with it.
Most of our disappointments are caused either due to another disappointed individual seeking to spread the sorrow and sense of failure, or by substandard effort – not enough effort either in terms of dedication or magnitude.
But when the above is in place, and then disappointment strikes, woah baby. Not a pleasant sight. Not a nice feeling. Been there, done that, haven’t we all?
C’mon, you tell me. Who’s perfectly fine after being disappointed? People may hide their sadness in their hearts or their smiles, but the scar never goes. It stays long after the goal is finally achieved, if ever it is.
Then again, they say justice delayed is justice denied.
Disappunto. Teleurstelling. Desapontamento. Zhgënjim. Desencanto. Besvikelse. Enttäuschung. Niraasha. Pagkabigo. Díomá. Skuffelse Désappointement.
So many names, but the same effect – being crestfallen, broken, sulky, depressed, hurt, fury…
If it’s your friend, you shall never see it.
If it’s your enemy, it will keep haunting you, returning to mar your joys and kill your passions, each time you wish for something, every time you work hard for something.
(Coincidentally, disappointment means little when you haven’t worked for something or don’t truly want something. You obviously don’t care. Which is perfectly fine, let me tell you that. If someone else is choosing your dreams and you allow them to become yours, then you’re asking for a letdown my friend…)
Wallow in it for a while. Feel bad. Go on, be crazy. Hate the world, hate the people in it. It’s fine to vent. (Not publicly, if your dream is intact, it may backfire and unleash another spate of disappointments.) But really, it’s okay to not be okay. You’re human, no matter how strong you are. And if people don’t know or believe that, or don’t permit you the freedom to feel bad, then they’re obviously a bunch of dumb*ucks.
And then, once you’re done with the grief, ready to move on…
Understand the reasons. The what, why, how of everything that went wrong. You may not work on it again, or maybe not in the same place with the same set of people, but learn from it. So that either you don’t repeat it, or you know what to expect when a similar situation arises.
If it something than can be fixed with a confrontation or expectation setting session, do it. Don’t hesitate. Direct spoken communication is the best form of dealing with people, the best way to clear the haze and let others know what you think and your rationale behind your actions.
Displeasure. Discontent. Disillusionment. Dissatisfaction. Distress. Disenchantment. Frustration. Failure. Defeat. Regret.
May you and I never be harassed by it anymore.
Easier to deal with it when you don’t have to face it.