No, I aint her.
Don’t wana be either.
Can’t deal with all the compromises and pretensions that come with being the most “eligible”.
The expectations that people in the community have are endless, and to live up to each one of them is downright impossible.
It’s amusing how a woman is asked to “adjust” and “give in” when a male suitor comes her way, but the guy is free to reject if the girl does not match up to his hopes and ideas.
Hypocrisy to the core!
This coming from people who are well-educated and worldly-wise… Haa! Joke of the decade, eh? Make it century… millennium even.
All of us by now are aware that guys can gallivant and philander all they want with so called “bad” and “modern” girls, but when looking out for a spouse, they go by what their mummies and aunties, uncles and daddies say. The guy might drink and smoke like there’s no tomorrow, but when they assess a girl, she has to be pure vegetarian and dress traditionally.
Given, quite a few men and families are now quite “liberal”, but girls are still reared to expect that men might dither and deviate sometime or the other, but they’re supposed to be accepting and tolerant, and even supportive in his endeavours, come what may. Their own lives, personal or professional, has to take a backseat when the man wishes or requires so.
Reminds me of Mona Lisa Smile. The movie that aptly portrays how Wellesly girls are not really being educated to pursue a career, but merely groomed as in finishing schools so that they may one day become some career-oriented gentleman’s wife and partner. She cannot expect anything and has to make do with everything that her hubby can provide or spare her.
But hell, that’s the way it is… Be it a movie set in 1954 or the real 21st century.
I pride myself on not being the regular Marwari girl with oil in her hair, modestly attired, looking pretty and cooking well for every unwanted guest that plans to spend a month at her mother’s place, just so that her reputation as a kind, homely girl can do the rounds and win her some matrimonial proposals from some grouchy boys and their families.
I have a personality and a life of my own, and I am not afraid to dream, expect and demand. So what if it makes me notorious in society? At least I would be a known devil to whosoever deems me a possible companion. Not that there aren’t any. But their passion and liveliness, honesty and wisdom has to match up to my own. Tough, not impossible.
I look at people, often women, who are living someone else’s interpretation of life, and it saddens me no end. To not be free to even imagine a life for yourself, to be unable to experiment with life and learn from your own mistakes, it’s such a pity! And what’s worse, these folks don’t even realise it!
I’m not here to change the world. I’m not here to teach people how to live. I’m not here to do anything that I don’t want to do.
But I know there are people out there who could certainly benefit from a lecture or two!
I look at them and smile. I see their vulnerabilities and disguises and ache to share the power of being unique and strong.
Am I unique and strong?
As much as I allow myself to be.
I falter, we all do.
The trick is to not give up.
The trick is to give yourself the freedom to explore and to forgive yourself when you seemingly err.
The most eligible bachelorette – I could never be her.
The most bestest person I can ever be – I’m being her.
Almost every moment of every day.
And if it doesn’t please you…