You, Me and Stress (Part 1)
Bon Jour, you gorgeous people!
I would like to eat a hamburger… Ae vood lake to-a itt aeee damburgaaaaaaa!!
LMAO… Been watching this scene from Pink Panther a couple of times over the last few days, just cant get over it… Jean Reno is fabulous!! You gotta watch the first part if you haven’t already. You’ll laugh your guts out… More so if you’re interested in training and communication and the like.
Awrite, getting back to our topic for the day. Remember I told you I’m reading a book by John Gray?
Let me remind you in case you don’t – I’m reading Why Mars and Venus Collide by John Gray, also writer of the bestseller Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I enjoyed the first book, and this one is fascinating and insightful too. In fact, there is an entire series of Mars-Venus books and websites for those that are heavily into this philosophy and believe in the benefits of self-help.
I don’t. Although, I did find parts of the book extremely interesting and eye-opening. So useful did I find it, that I thought I should preserve some excerpts on my blog for fast access the next time I need them. Besides, you non-book-readers can benefit from my reading as well!
Now, when I say “some” excerpts, you can bet your boots they are way more than “some” in the real sense of the term. After all, the book is 250 pages long, dotted with revelations and anecdotes. Even if I just mention the highlights, this post is going to stretch to multiple articles. And then obviously, I am going to ramble and put in my tuppence and share my experiences, and by the time all that is done…
Well, let’s not think about it. Why don’t I just go ahead and break this post up into shorter articles that don’t look so exhaustive and daunting :-)
Do bear in mind that I’ve made the language easier and briefer in some places and added my own conclusions and suggestions as well. This is John Gray’s version edited and updated by your own Anuja Rathi. So, don’t talk “plagiarism” and “mindless duplication” here.
The book is basically all about how men and women cope differently with stress and do not understand that their needs and stress-busters are not the same. Some valuable snippets…
- When a woman is unhappy, no one is happy.
So trueeeeeeee!! Especially me partly being a Cancer (I’m a Cusp – Leo and Cancer). When I’m cheerful, the entire world can be made happy and when I’m not, I tend to put a wet cloth over everyone and everything around me. I have certainly tried to bring my moodiness into control, but the statement stays: One woman can make the entire family happy/unhappy depending on how she is feeling!
- Men misjudge women as demanding and needy when they want affection, appreciation, hugs and compliments. Similarly, women think men are lazy when it is actually their biological need to rest.
Needn’t explain this, right? I guess we all know and all agree.
- Couples with good relationships have stopped trying to change each other.
Ahem, I’d hate to admit this, but it’s right. People just get used to each other and accept each other with their strengths, weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. I won’t say they’ve rigidly adjusted with resentment and forcefulness. Rather, they’ve learnt to adapt and co-habit. Can’t stay mad and inflexible all the time with your partner, right?! I’ve tried to not change the other person in my relationships (all of them, not just romantic ones). Sometimes I’ve passed and sometimes I’ve failed. But it’s always best when you can allow the person to be himself/herself. That way neither of you has any illusions and both of you can be direct and real.
- We have the same goals, but what we need to feel a particular way is very different. We give our partner what we want, but that is often the opposite of what will work!
Bingo again! We tend to think that just because we like something, our partner does too. So many times I’ve tried to be there for a person and talk to him and support him when he may actually want to be alone. This is because I like it when someone cares for me this way. It is only now that I have come to understand that sometimes giving a person his own space is the only and the correct way to be caring and considerate… And vice versa! Folks tend to gift me things and behave in ways they find appreciable and desirable, and I want to scream out NO… This is NOT what I want… So, I guess, being thoughtful means NOT treating an individual the way you want to be treated. In fact, you need to find out what he/she wants and then go about achieving it, if you really care.
- A man does not look for someone who will love him. He looks for someone who he will be successful in loving.
Beautiful line… I’d never thought about it this way. It is really valid?
- In daily life, women are more emotional. However, in times of danger, it is a woman who calms down a man willing to fight.
This one I definitely know to be spot on. When men come to blows, it is often a lady that will calm them down. Unless, of course, the guys are fighting FOR the lady, and she is revelling in the attention and aggression :-D
Okie dokie, I’m gona wind up for now. But be back for some more gupshup and stress/relationship tutorials!!
Enjoy the DAMBURGER ;-)