"...Why do you wana marry me?
So I can kiss you anytime..."
- Jake and Mel in Sweet Home Alabama
There are times when I see so much heartbreak around me that is devastates my mind and day.
And then there are days when I see cupid blessing every person I can see. And after the oh-this-is-sooooo-nice moment, that overwhelms me as well…
Jeez, I feel so stupid confessing that.
But it’s true.
A lot of my school and college friends have either tied the knot, are wedding soon, or have a steady partner whom they plan to marry sooner or later. And then I look at me, with a whole gang of friends of all ages, but without that one person who promises to stay with me for the rest of my life providing me with boundless love and security.
Why?
Some folks say it’s in the stars. It’s all pre-destined who will meet whom and when. Until then, we are blissfully making the wrong choices and ending up with moments that are fun and painful.
Like this blog I read the other day. A girl was mourning her break-up with her boyfriend. While she knew it was for the best, and that her being treated like a punching bag was not her definition of a beautiful relationship, she could not come to terms with the lack of a companion in her life. And I knew exactly what she meant. Exactly what she felt. Happens to the best of us. Coz the worst are the ones that enjoy life by screwing matters for others.
Is it so bad being alone? No. It’s not bad. But it’s certainly not as great as when you’re with somebody. “Being single rocks” is a mantra long adopted by people who are dumped or ditched or plain unlucky in love. But all of us know the story of the wolf (dog?) who cut his tail. Convincing others about your peaceful contentedness is a good idea when you wish to avoid pity and sympathy. However, you cannot disguise the passionate desire that twinkles in your eyes when you see someone else with what your heart is yearning for.
There’s this friend of mine who recently landed a job in the very city where her boyfriend works. So that’s one reason to celebrate. Compound it with the fact that they’re getting formally engaged in a couple of months followed by the wedding in December, and voila! Life’s perfect.
(Hello God, this is Anuja. Not forgotten me, have you?!!)
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not grudging the lucky couples anything. Neither am I envious or stuck-up. But hey, it does make you feel left out… Sigh.
Think of this. I get a job in a brilliant company like IBM, I draw a salary that is way beyond my craziest expenses, I get to do an MBA abroad, and I find an extraordinarily loving and intelligent guy with who I can say I’ve all I could ever wish for...
Happens in stories, you say? Well, it’s happening to people around me. And they sure are not fictional. I’m not a schizophrenic… at least till now.
Damn! I end up writing about relationships and sorrows than anything else. Guess I should christen myself “Agony Aunt” and start writing those appallingly sloppy columns in third-rate magazines.
In fact, I ought to start an alternate career in counseling. I’ll mint more money, I’ll meet a lot of people, and I’ll be able to shed others’ sorrows if not my own. Vicarious living is the way to be when you and your life are stuck on the wrong side of the highway.
I can think of more than a handful instances when I have guided (or scolded) someone for (and at times against) love. And it works! People are happier after they voice things out with me. Maybe I can understand people and behaviors very well or could be my verbal competence that enables me to communicate and express facts and feelings effectively.
Yet all my relations are far from perfect. Blame my expecting from others or my desire for perfection and maturity. I can see that advising someone and being in the same situation are altogether different ballgames. Hota hai, zindagi hai…
Got problems, mate? You know who to ping!
I sincerely remain,
(Lonely) Princess
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