Agony Aunt’s Anguish

"...Why do you wana marry me?

So I can kiss you anytime..."

- Jake and Mel in Sweet Home Alabama

There are times when I see so much heartbreak around me that is devastates my mind and day.

And then there are days when I see cupid blessing every person I can see. And after the oh-this-is-sooooo-nice moment, that overwhelms me as well…

Jeez, I feel so stupid confessing that.

But it’s true.

A lot of my school and college friends have either tied the knot, are wedding soon, or have a steady partner whom they plan to marry sooner or later. And then I look at me, with a whole gang of friends of all ages, but without that one person who promises to stay with me for the rest of my life providing me with boundless love and security.

Why?

Some folks say it’s in the stars. It’s all pre-destined who will meet whom and when. Until then, we are blissfully making the wrong choices and ending up with moments that are fun and painful.

Like this blog I read the other day. A girl was mourning her break-up with her boyfriend. While she knew it was for the best, and that her being treated like a punching bag was not her definition of a beautiful relationship, she could not come to terms with the lack of a companion in her life. And I knew exactly what she meant. Exactly what she felt. Happens to the best of us. Coz the worst are the ones that enjoy life by screwing matters for others.

Is it so bad being alone? No. It’s not bad. But it’s certainly not as great as when you’re with somebody. “Being single rocks” is a mantra long adopted by people who are dumped or ditched or plain unlucky in love. But all of us know the story of the wolf (dog?) who cut his tail. Convincing others about your peaceful contentedness is a good idea when you wish to avoid pity and sympathy. However, you cannot disguise the passionate desire that twinkles in your eyes when you see someone else with what your heart is yearning for.

There’s this friend of mine who recently landed a job in the very city where her boyfriend works. So that’s one reason to celebrate. Compound it with the fact that they’re getting formally engaged in a couple of months followed by the wedding in December, and voila! Life’s perfect.

(Hello God, this is Anuja. Not forgotten me, have you?!!)

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not grudging the lucky couples anything. Neither am I envious or stuck-up. But hey, it does make you feel left out… Sigh.

Think of this. I get a job in a brilliant company like IBM, I draw a salary that is way beyond my craziest expenses, I get to do an MBA abroad, and I find an extraordinarily loving and intelligent guy with who I can say I’ve all I could ever wish for...

Happens in stories, you say? Well, it’s happening to people around me. And they sure are not fictional. I’m not a schizophrenic… at least till now.

Damn! I end up writing about relationships and sorrows than anything else. Guess I should christen myself “Agony Aunt” and start writing those appallingly sloppy columns in third-rate magazines.

In fact, I ought to start an alternate career in counseling. I’ll mint more money, I’ll meet a lot of people, and I’ll be able to shed others’ sorrows if not my own. Vicarious living is the way to be when you and your life are stuck on the wrong side of the highway.

I can think of more than a handful instances when I have guided (or scolded) someone for (and at times against) love. And it works! People are happier after they voice things out with me. Maybe I can understand people and behaviors very well or could be my verbal competence that enables me to communicate and express facts and feelings effectively.

Yet all my relations are far from perfect. Blame my expecting from others or my desire for perfection and maturity. I can see that advising someone and being in the same situation are altogether different ballgames. Hota hai, zindagi hai…

Got problems, mate? You know who to ping!

I sincerely remain,
(Lonely) Princess

Meri Khabar

Namaste, fellas!

Teme something… Which bugger said “no thank you and no sorry between friends”? The dude is/was definitely living in some other world and era. And only a moron would follow this suggestion.

Why? Because it is very essential to show the loved one that he/she is not being taken for granted. Gratefulness and apology are two important things that when not done right can lead to relationship crises.

Okay ohkay, I’m not taking off on any serious tangents today. I’m just gona tell you what I’ve been up to over the last few days.

After ages have I got the opportunity to be a trainee myself, and it’s been SUCH a relief! I have been a trainer for over 4 years now, and sitting on the other side of the room is a luxury that doesn’t come easy. Thanks to one of our major BPO clients, I was blessed with this chance that I grasped with both hands… And enjoyed it!

So, all of last week, I and a few other trainers were being trained by the Assistant Manager of the said company on the nitty-grittys of the pre-process training – the curriculum, methodology and delivery. While we were all fairly familiar with the content, we learned quite a lot about what happens once the candidate is taken on board for training and induction. What was especially useful for me was the fact that before I join IBM (a fortnight hence), I roughly know in what way BPO/call centre new hires are trained on the voice and accent part.

But that was the objective bit. What I felt on being a trainee after so long was so refreshing! To sit on a chair throughout the session without having to walk around and keep an eye on everybody! To ask questions and crack jokes for no reason and guffaw without any restrictions or professional restraints! To not be on our guard all the time and slack around! LOL…

Obviously, we weren’t as bad as all that - once a trainer always a trainer. I really can’t put aside my “trainer” self and live for more than a few minutes/hours. Then the trainer in me strikes back and I start demanding that I and those around me stretch ourselves and each do our duty for the success of the training program. All in all, a wonderful experience. And I met some really nice people, so that’s an added incentive. (Hey Meghna, Archie, Maithili, Rakhi, Sampada and Altaf!)

The IPL is finally over. And as I’d predicted CSK won. I almost foretold every step akin Emraan Hashmi in Jannat! Right from the wickets to the outcome, my words were like Akashwani :-P The only difference between the movie and me being, I won neither a dime nor penny, whereas Emraan stuffed bundles in safe deposit vaults...

Now I’m not really enthusiastic about cricket, but I just love taking sides and teasing people around me who worship cricket and Sachin. So, if you support MI, I’ll stick up for CSK, and if you praise a player to the skies, I’ll generally rant about how every player is more interested in the dough and fame than in real cricket…

So, as I said, I never was majorly into the game, but I still enjoyed matches as a school-goer, where India was a competitor. However, when the bribe scene caught up and cricketers started starring in ads more than actually performing on the field, I lost excitement. I use to shrug off any cricket news or discussions that happened around me, and just considered it over-hyped in this cricket-crazy country of ours.

Even the Indian Premier League didn’t enthuse me much last year. I know folks were betting at work and in their peer groups, but I kept away from it all. Only this year, I memorized all the names of the IPL teams, just for kicks, but I still don’t know which players belong where (barring a few, of course like Dhoni and Tendulkar).

Say, how do players feel, pitted against each other on the basis of regions? I mean when we as Indians played against Australia and Pakistan, we knew who to pitch for. But with every team having some desi and firang players, who do you root for? I guess you just calculate who’s got the strongest order and then decide accordingly. For me, Raina is now the boss… Great fielding and good batting… This guy sure deserves hopes pinned on him. Say goodbye to Sachin now, dudes and dudettes… He needs to rest…

Apart from the above, I’ve been following Two and a Half Men on Star World as religiously as most women watch Balika Vadhu and those other crappy soaps. The humor quotient and wit in English/American shows is so much superior than in our silly TV programmes. It makes me wanna sob when I watch sad jokes being narrated by substandard actors on Sony and other channels, and melodramatic scenes being enacted by amateurs on Zee and Star. Even MTV and Channel V suck these days. So, I stick to Star World and Star Movies, HBO, Travel and Living, and sometimes NDTV Imagine when they show cooking and travel shows.

Hey, I went book shopping yesterday with Abba to Crossword. It's been ages since I did that, and I went all out by buying 8 books spanning different topics, authors and genres. For example: BPO sutra (recommended by a fellow-trainer), Sybil ( psychological thriller, real life story, again suggested by a college-mate), a Jeffrey Archer and a Sidney Sheldon omnibus, etc.

I begin my reading with Love, Life & All that Jazz by Ahmed Faiyaz, an autographed copy, no less! I think you would agree when I say that the title is catchy, and let me tell you, the plot looks promising and real. However, I must say this, the English is atrocious. (Ahmed, you could've used my help here, or maybe hired a more competent editor/publisher/whoever corrects the language.) The book is entirely written in the present tense (although it includes several flashbacks, that to me aren't even appealing in motion pictures and thus all the more frustrating in a book). I could've put up with it had the grammar and structure not been all over the place. It bugged me, what with my natural flair and love for English and intolerance for its abuse and misuse. 35 pages down already, and tired of misplaced punctuation, tenses, articles and word order... Sigh, the (dis)advantages of being a language trainer!

You know I’m a little worried. And sad. In the 21^st century, even hale and hearty people are suffering heart attacks. Two of the most fit and energetic people I’ve seen in my life recently experienced one, and it shattered my faith in practicing a healthy lifestyle. What use is all the exercise and good eating when we all finally are going to suffer irrespective of what we eat and do? KFC chicken strips, McDonald burgers and fries, candies and pizzas, you all get a high 5 from me! Sochna kya, jo bhi hoga dekha jayega :-)

Catch ya later... Take care!

-Princess

P.S.: By the way, have you ever thought of who invented the spectacles/glasses? Darn, this only struck me yesterday when Ammi spoke about it... Thanks a bunch man, whoever you may be. Love ya :)

Malicious Mermaids

Swimming is bliss, sharing the pool with mean old women isn’t.

If you’re wondering why I’m writing an entire blog post about something as “trivial” as this, then you surely haven’t swum with a bunch of spiteful ladies that have a problem with everything a normal teenager/adult does.

Now Law College pool is not massive, but it is also by no standards small. It’s a good 25 metres long and has depths varying from 3.5 to 12 feet. So, at any given moment, there are atleast 4 people going in any one direction, totaling up to almost 15 overall. Now with a number as large as that, is it any wonder that people occasionally bump into each other? I don’t think so. And as far as I’ve noticed, folks who dash usually flash a quick smile at each other, say sorry and go their respective ways. All in a day’s work.

Take the time when I was practicing my back-stroke along the length of the pool. There was this woman going in the same direction, about a few metres away from me. Now, I know how to stick to my own straight track even while in the water. Turns out this woman slightly deviated from her chosen path and accidentally touched my arm. I didn’t mind. Happens. I stood up for a breather, and as soon as I was about to lie down on the water to do a breast-stroke lap, something on my shoulder went tap, tap tap… I turned around. One of the vicious looking females, the typical ones who wear glasses in the pool and chat more than swim, was ogling at me.

“Excuse me”

“Yes”

“Why don’t you choose one of the tracks by the side of the pool?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re swimming in the middle.”

“So?”

“Look at those women, they’re swimming in that corner, and those other girls are at the other side. SO you also move to the corner of the pool.”

“But why? There will be somebody swimming in the centre of the pool as well, right? Not everyone can take the corners.”

“Ya, but then you won’t dash.”

“I don’t think we bumped, and even if we did, it’s ok. It happens with everybody. What’s the issue?”

“No no, you swim at the side of the pool.”

“Well, I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. Why don’t you go and tell the coach, and if there’s any problem, he’ll tell me.”

“No but…”

I started to wade away and beat this! She actually clutched my arm…

“I haven’t finished yet.”

“Look, don’t touch me. You gotta problem, talk to the coach.”

“No, you know what? You’re right. I am wrong.”

“Damn right I’m right.”

And off I went. Stupid lady. Must have fought with her equally cranky husband at home early in the morning.

There was another incident that occurred a week before this. What happened was one of the girls with a swimsuit just like mine was doing the back-stroke and she bumped into one lady. Maybe words weren’t exchanged then, and the woman was looking for an opportunity to vent her displaced frustration. So, when I swam past her, she spun around and said, “When you’re doing the back-stroke, look at the pole.”

“Ok!” (I thought she was just being helpful. I had no idea about all the prior events.)

“Or look at the tree.”

“Yeah, I do that.”

“Ya, then you won’t bump or go tedha”

“But I didn’t…”

I looked towards my friend (the one with the similar costume) and she was grinning. It dawned upon me that something was amiss.

“Oh, I think SHE bumped into you, not me.”

She glanced across to where I was pointing.

“Oh, same swimming costume?”

“Ya ya, she didn’t bump into you”. (Another obliging lady quipped from her chatty side of the pool.)

“Oh but that’s ok, just remember to look at the pole.”

I shrugged.

See for yourself? See what I mean?

Irritating!

Every day these dames have a problem, either with the pool, or the water, or the swimmers or the attendant. So one day they scold some enthusiastic swimmer, the next day they blast the attendant for not cleaning the water, and the following day they speculate about the increased number of people in the pool. If they whirled their bodies half as much as they wagged their tongues, they’d be towing only half of their original weight around.

At such times, I really find men very accommodating and pleasant. They don't talk so much and they don't have so many issues. Feminine folks (including me), generally, have a fixation with principles and morals. They can go to any length to make a person aware of his/her shortcomings, but don't bat an eyelid when they go breaking rules.

What were you thinking, God?? :-D

Some things don't change no matter how much you wonder about them. So, guess I should just speak about this and wrap up.

Tadaaaa!!

(Learning diving from some young school-girls now. They're friendlier and nicer.)

-Princess

Jiyo Dil Se...

Aloha, mates!

Pune’s getting exceptionally hotter by the day (and night), and the power cuts in the city are making things all the more unbearable. Come to think of it, we used to take pride in and enjoy the brilliant climate of Pune all round the year, whatever the season. We went as far as to say that Pune is the best city to live in as far the weather is concerned. Looks like we’ll have to eat our words. No more does the city have a constant supply of beautiful winters and moderate summers and merry monsoons. The breeze that blew and soothed us Puneittes come rain or shine has migrated to another unknown place, and all that is left here now is beads of perspiration and enduring frustration.

Guess we’re the ones to blame for it – what with the increased pollution and senseless, multitudinous chopping down of trees to make 6-lane highways that never quite shape up. Are we really intelligent human beings who can envision the future and work for a better tomorrow? Must be someone else…

Now and then, I find myself speculating about our upbringing and schooling. And when I read about it in Palace of Illusions, it suddenly hit. (Pardon me if some of the words I use here might sound like they’ve been copied from the book. I have no intention to plagiarize, but the words are so apt that using any other term will prove to be off the mark and inadequate.)

Our education, I think, is largely useless. We’re taught things that all of us know we shall never use in our entire lives. For example, formulas in maths and physics, dates in history, and types of soils in geography. Of course, if I pursue a career in farming or archaeology, I might find some of the above mentioned applicable. But, I don’t find the same very functional for most Arts, Science or Commerce students. There are a host of other things that we must learn, and do learn during our lifetime.

Like how to dress up for formal and casual occasions. How to greet people and start conversations. How to be brave and remain silent when we ache to say the most scalding things. And also when to be bold and outspoken. How to sidestep questions you don’t want to answer. How to stay silent when we face disagreement, and avoid wasting energy on words.

How to wait for time to unravel mysteries of nature, and how to judge people and situations. How to make informed decisions, and how to be effective without hurting people. When to lie, and when to speak the truth. How to live like kings/queens and also how to lead frugal lives like maids and beggars. How to adjust and how to teach. When to tolerate and when to lash out.

A hundred whens and a million hows.

(And if you add the how to’s of understanding and using gadgets and technology, then make the number zillions.)

Who shall instruct us on all of this? How long can we live without being aware of the above pre-requisites of life? How far can we get by learning the wrong things in the wrong ways, and unlearning them so that we can move ahead on the correct path?

Too many questions. Never an answer. That’s how our species is created, right?

Let’s talk about something that is within my control :-)
My perfect routine.

Yup! I’m super proud of my daily routine. Have been so for the last 1 month. So, I wake up early (by my standards) every morning. Being a night owl, it is a big sacrifice for me to set the alarm for 7 am, but I manage to get up with a bounce in my step coz I’m eager to hit the pool (not literally!) and learn new strokes. I’ve learnt the breast-stroke and back-stroke till now, and I’m half done with the freestyle. Good exercise and great recreation! I love that part of my day.

After my swim, I get ready and leave for work at 10. (I’d love to include breakfast in my schedule, but we don’t really have that meal at home daily, and when we do, I’m too hard-pressed for time to actually eat it.) So, I gulp some milk and then some cool drink like lassi or buttermilk after an hour. Work includes training, counseling, some admin stuff and lotsa socializing! After I get off from there around 7 pm, I catch up with friends and have coffee-shoffee, and finally head home by 8. And then it’s time for dinner and my favorite novels. I’m yawning away by 10 and nodding off by 10.30. It bothers me that I rarely sleep without waking up several times in the dead of night. But that’s ok, I suppose. Unless it makes me wake up all grouchy the next morning.

Not bad, eh?

Thanks to my daily agenda, I think I’ve got back in shape. I now fit into my pants that I bought 6 years ago and didn’t fit in last year. Saved me quite a buck as I was planning to go shopping for formals. For my new job :-)

Yessssss… I’ve bagged an offer from IBM for the post of Lead Voice and Accent Trainer. I was little hesitant initially as I was unsure whether I wanted to move to the call centre/BPO industry. But Daksh is a good name, and IBM is a world-renowned company. The pay is good and the culture is groovy. So, I join them on May 12th. Cheeeeeeeeeersss!! And fingers crossed!!

Hey, I watched Phoonk 2 the day it got released. The first 20 minutes threatened to be as damp as the prequel. But after that, the movie rocked. Of course, the doll concept wasn’t the first of its kind, and the direction (where the interiors of the house are zoomed in and out) wasn’t exciting. But the actors are good (especially Sudeep – the girl’s dad, who played Amitabh’s son in Rann, and Amruta Khanvilkar – the girl’s mum), and the ugly black ghost (Madhu aka Ashwini Kalsekar) with dangling curly hair often curdled my blood in the veins. I gripped the arms of my seat as I saw the climax, often shutting my eyes due to the excellent make-up and gruesome scenes.

Phoonk 1 was silly, but Ramu has arrived with Phoonk 2. He couldn’t resist inserting a crow and lizard (both stars of the first movie) in the second one, but thankfully, the drama is less and action is more. Not as great as Bhoot, but definitely worth a dekko. A well-spent 2 hours. Comes as a surprise.

One question... why does the boy sleep with a snake?!! LOLOL :-D

Cheerio!
Princess

Loving a Woman

To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know it deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N give her wings - when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman


When you love a woman you tell her
that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
- really really ever loved a woman?


To really love a woman
Let her hold you -
til ya know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman


When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really -
really really ever loved a woman?


You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...


Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman? You got to tell me
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?

Bryan Adams - Have you really loved a woman...

The perfect sequel to my previous post on Being a Woman.

You can watch the video here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq2KgzKETBw

Love,

Princess

Being a Woman

Let me tell you first and foremost, being a woman ain’t easy...

We know what we want (at least 60% of the times), and we’re equally sure who we want it from. So, if I’m sad and I want Mr. X to come and give me solace, it won’t matter if Mr. W, Y and Z come and put their arms around me and buy me a million gifts and shower me with love, support and care. I am STILL going to miss Mr. X and his consolation. Of course, I am going to appreciate the others, and thank them for their help, but Mr. X, thou art doomed!!

Come to think of it, WHY do guys need to be told what to do? Just like we gauge their needs and understand their desires without them voicing it out loud, why can’t they also do the same? I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to try! There have been a lot of times when the guy himself did not know what he was confused or stressed about, and a girl eased his mind by being sympathetic and kind. We’re all humans, we all have the same range of feelings, and it’s really not that tough if we make an effort to comprehend and assist.

Most women I know would agree that telling/asking for something to be said/done is not quite the same as the thing being said/done instinctively and voluntarily. What’s the use you loving me if you do not grasp the fact that there are times when I just need to be heard and hugged without being shown a hundred obvious solutions? Tell you what, I know those hundred ways myself, and I also know ten other ways that are better. I am aware of what I have to do and how, just be calm and empathic, you moron! That’s all I need from you!!

Guys around the world know they’re kids. They either stumble upon this realization by themselves, or they read it in the zillions of magazines and books that talk about gender differences and peculiarities of the sexes. So, whether they agree or not, they very well know that their primary needs are food, sex and sleep. And so do we. And we take care to see that their needs are met. Be it the mum who keeps snacks ready the moment the son comes home from college, or the wife who entertains the man by night despite being dog tired at work all day, or the girlfriend who doesn’t call her sleeping boyfriend for a few hours even though she wants to talk to him desperately.

Why then is it soooo difficult for the men to appreciate us? Why is it impossible for them to anticipate our wants and fulfill them? Why do they find us complicated when all we need is a listening ear and a warm shoulder? How can they expect their stupid jokes to make us laugh when our hearts are weighed down by some misery that we are unsure and unable to express without being asked? You maybe close to me, and you may not require a prologue to talk about your concerns, but I do. And what’s wrong with that?

Let me admit, I expect people who are close to me to know me and the things that please me or tick me off. So, anyone in their right sense of mind wouldn’t ditch me after planning to meet, and anyone who has faced the music after they did something unpleasant wouldn’t do it again. Yet, I want my loved one(s) to know when I’m upset or when something has hurt me. It could be something as small as not messaging me before you sleep, or not telling me when you’re ill or suffering other crises. It could be when you keep repeating the same mistake again and again despite knowing it irritates me. Or that you give others priority over me, when I’m the one whose always there when you’re in trouble. Get what I mean?

So yeah, I have those sort of conditions with people I like and love. I CANNOT love unconditionally. Nope, I cannot. I can’t be ok with every way you treat me and any way you behave with me. If I’m being civil and nice, it’s your obligation to be the same to me. And if that’s something that’s not within your control, then goodbye. And let that goodbye be forever. Not the “here now and gone then” types. The wound needs to heal so that someone else can come and give me the happiness that is not in your power to grant your sweetheart.

Movies like What Women Want are made and watched the world over. And yet men don’t understand that all we need is love. We’re ready to help you in understanding us, just show us that you are devoted and dedicated and (willingly) ready to make that effort. We know people don’t learn things in the womb, but we surely want folks to learn things that would endear them to us. Ask us what we want, if you’re unable to understand. But not before you have tried every other option.

Besides, we're such sentimental fools that we'll never tell you directly what we are thinking. I'm sure you've heard of this one - when we say "we're fine OR it's ok", it means "nothing is fine." And when we say, "just leave me alone OR go away", it indicates that "please don't go, just stay and show me you care." And when someone you know who needs you says "I hate you", it actually stands for "I love you helluva lot, but you hurt me too much".

You see, we want to show we're independent. Yet the fact remains that even the most practical women are emotional at heart. And there's no denying that. We often don't NEED you, but we WANT to be showed that we're loved and cherished.

Awrite so we crib and complain and nag, at times more regularly than sunrise and sunset... and what do you do? Start ignoring us! And how does that help? It only makes us more crabby and depressed. And the vicious cycle continues... Why not try something more constructive and positive?

Our needs are not as simple as sex, nor as tough as a Sudoku puzzle. Sometimes an ice cream can do the trick, at other times, you may have to be a little more tolerant and listen to us as we rant on and on about the boss who yelled at us, or the friend who lost her cat, or the junior who can’t make a decision and needs our advice. You may have to make us feel better by a foot massage or by praising us non-stop for 50 minutes…

Different things work for different people, and for women, the one common need is to be pampered and treated like a child. We’re all little girls within, and if you remember that, you can never go wrong…

Do one tiny thing at the right time to make us smile, and I promise, no woman on earth will disappoint you or turn you away when you seek shelter, estranged by the callous world.

Sincerely,
Princess

P.S. : Nope, I’ve not fought with or been hurt by any guy. These are some things I’ve always wanted to say (and might have, before, either on my blog or in person). Just thought I’d put them up here for all you guys to read and learn, and for all you girls to share and rejoice about :-) Take care!!

P.P.S : Cheers, fellas! Chosen as Blog Adda's Spicy Saturday pick. Thanks Harish and the crew. Appreciate your spreading the word! You're gona make a lot of men more educated and a lot of women happy :-) Count me as the first!!

Arjuna

Arjuna

Arrogant. Gifted. Intelligent. Talented. Esteemed. Respected.

God’s favorite. Effective. Wise. Reliable. Feared. Quick to learn.

Vain. Threatened by betters. Appreciative. Jealous. Favored.

Single-minded focus. Egoistic. Occasionally unsure of himself.

Perseverant. Lucky. Righteous. Unstoppable. Powerful.

Confused about what and why to act. Strong. Applies learning.

Show off. Eager to please. Graceful. Reveres people he admires.

Idealized. Bright. Attractive. Protector. Resourceful. Fearless.

Connoisseur of talent. Shining. Accomplished. Devoted.

Trusting. Envious. Enchanted by skill and skillfulness.

Undefeatable. Courageous. Good looking. Loyal. Truthful.

Sensitive. Dutiful. Diligent. Loved. Magnanimous. Trustworthy.

Multi-talented. Competitive. Thoughtful. Intractable. Victorious.

Arjuna...

Anuja??

P.S. : I know some of you might be on the look-out for Karna... I've blogged about him before. Check this link - http://anujarathi.blogspot.com/2009/02/life-of-karna.html

Beauty Shooty Hay Rabba

“So, Anuja cannot be beautiful.”

“That’s right.”

“Anuja can be everything but beautiful.”

“Yup. I can be pretty, attractive… but not beautiful.”

“Hmm”

I remember this dialogue a year ago between me and Bhanu at the ISABS lab in Goa.

A slightly modified version would have me saying the exact same lines to someone who would not control his/her frustration and anger as well as Guru B. Something that goes like this…

“WHY can’t you believe that you are beautiful?”
“Just ya… I don’t think I am beautiful.”
“Hell, I’m telling you! You ARE beautiful.”
“Ok. Whatever you say.”
“Humph… This is irritating you know…”

While I coerce people to accept graciously any compliment that is given to them, I myself find it very hard to concede and appreciate anybody who calls me beautiful. Surely, that person is only saying it to make me happy. I ain’t beautiful! In fact, I’d go as far as to say that beauty lies in most things and persons excepting me.

You tell me - Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Yup, heard that before. Generally, I am the first one to point out the loveliness in almost anything and everything. God’s an artist, and nothing He creates could possibly be bad.

The modern version of the saying is Beauty lies in the eyes of the beer holder. Some witty guy. LOL.

But back to square one, I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL.

You ask me why? Well, I’ve got an issue with that very word. It’s almost like the word “beautiful” is an insult to me. It’s right on the opposite side of the spectrum that I have been and wish to be.

“I can be attractive,” I say, “not beautiful.”

Schoolmates and relatives have drilled into me since my baby years that “Anuja is NOT beautiful”, even bordering on “Anuja is ugly.” In a country that considers fairness the biggest omen of gorgeousness, obviously a dark-skinned girl like me was bound to be looked upon as unappealing. I was never plain, thanks to my mother’s sharp features, but my dad’s color that I inherited went against me when I made friends in school. I still recall vividly being teased as “Kaali” (=black) by more than a few classmates during my schooldays, and matters became worse when I started wearing glasses owing to poor eyesight in standard 6^th. Discrimination on the basis of color and caste began right then for me, which is why I do not feel very upset when I hear about the fate of Indians in distant America and Australia.

I saw my fair-skinned peers being favored and proposed to, and always wished that I was the same skin tone as my mom and brother. Maybe that would make me popular. Maybe that would make people around me gawk with admiration and not whisper in amusement. It really hurt. Can’t tell you how much. I didn’t run to the store for Fair and Lovely, but I sure cursed God for not making me as exquisite as I wished.

My mum says she was extremely dark as a child. (You wouldn’t believe her if you’ve seen her! God, she’s a goddess! So dainty and delicate and magnificent.) She kept telling me that she was dark then and then her skin became fair as the years passed. Initially I thought she was saying it to make me more optimistic and reduce my misery. But now, I think it’s true. Most people have come up to me and stated without mincing words that I’ve become unbelievably pretty and fair. While I shrug modestly, they keep telling me I look alluring. And you know what I say in return…

And you know what they say after that…

Routine.

But then, after too many folks had expressed annoyance over my unpleasant reaction, I finally decided that maybe it was time I stopped making God feel bad for having made me the way he did. Frankly, I don’t care two-pence about my looks now, coz I know I am way better than most dames out there in almost every way. Try finding some woman who has intelligence, a good heart without ill-will, sensibility, care, dependability, love, generosity, resourcefulness, humor, objectivity, passion, knowledge, enthusiasm, good sense of music and dance and dressing, adaptability AND a face and body half as good as mine – altogether.

Yes, I do have a raging temper, but anybody will tell you that it’s extremely easy to get on my nerves and easier still to get back on the right side. Nobody’s perfect. I almost am…

So, you see, somebody who is so nice on the inside, definitely looks good on the outside.

I AM BEAUTIFUL.

:-)

And so are you…

Cheerio!
Princess