Thursday, July 23

Astitva

Bon Jour, ladies and gentlemen!

I'm missing my ISABS days. One of the most memorable experiences of my life... Hence, I decided to share with you a poem that I penned down while my labmates and facilitators (miss you all SO much, boo hoo...) were sitting silently watching each other in the unstructured lab environment.

It was incomplete then, and after that, I have written a series of unfinished poems that I never quite had the inspiration or words to complete. Eureka! The Supreme Being gave me the brainwave to amalgamate all of them, do a lil chop-and-change here and there... And here you are baby, a beautiful composition and honest declaration... By your truly...

(Humility ain't one of my best traits, told you umpteen times before!)

A little note on the context, just so the poem makes more sense. The lab was held in Goa, at a resort called Dona Sylvia, which has it's own (almost) private beach. Every evening when I went there for a stroll, I became philosophical and mellow. (Which I anyways am , right?!) Plus the learnings and experiences in the lab, realizations about my patterns of behavior... It all made me quite poetic as well. The first couple of paragraphs were written thinking about the seashore, drawing parallels to my own life, and of course as you can make out, the last couple of paragraphs were added later – the poetic medley.

Enough talk... On with the action! Let the curtains rise!!

As I watch the waves I think,
About the person I am,
So what if I feel a particular way?
Am I to hold it back like a dam?

The sandy beach reminds m,
Life isn't always the same;
Some of the sand jumps for the tide,
And some remains stable and tame.

So what if I get upset over things that appear trivial?
For me, nothing's a silly game...

The sun sets low on the horizon,
Conveying, relax, it all ends one day;
Why then with any realization,
Do the tears come and my composure sway?

I have my goods and bads,
I'm generous, assertive and guileless;
I am what I am,
And whoever said one has to be flawless?

I get attached to people the very first time I meet them,
So what?

I keep smiling with or without reason,
So what?

Silly, mushy, emotional scenes in movies make me cry,
So what?

I'm possessive and rude when provoked,
So what?

I feel betrayed and hurt when when those that I love,
Adore something else more than me;
Their passion, ego or a plaything,
Even their family.

I do unreasonable, absurd things,
Like wanting those that don't want me.

I'm responsible and protective,
And I hate the fact that I'm so sensitive...

They call me stubborn and self-centred,
Though they know of my jolly, sweet nature,
Doesn't bother me... Whoever wants to please them all...
Not me for sure!

Or do I??

What matters finally
Is that I know I'm wonderful,
I know my weaknesses,
And that's my greatest strength...

I am me...

… And I'm one of a kind.

Happy birthday to Me :-)


-Princess

5 comments:

vishal said...

Hey Anuja-ji happy birthday may the almighty fulfill all your wishes n dreams..Keep rocking!

penandpaper said...

Hey, Happy Birthday.....belated :( Hope you had fun

Da.. said...

Good one!!! Awesome choice of words! nice transition from philosophy to pragmatic approach to philosophy!! Anuja, you are a good writer!

K, that was about the writing skills.. but, awesome experience too! Yeah, beach, water, sunsets can be thought provoking, making one emotional and edgy..

Life's like a flowing river, let it flow. Enjoy every turn and block, cos water can be stopped by no one!!

vishal said...

hey Anuja..lovely poem..can't help can see a bit of myself in this poem..i mean some streaks of own self..well,i'm not saying which part of me..d u mind taking a guess!!actually why should u....n u shd as we are all of the same kind-ordinary mortals united by one truth-life-and-death...

Lonely Princess said...

Vishal, Da, PaP...

Thanks guys for the wishes and comments!

Do keep writing in, love to hear from you all.

-Anuja
(Princess)