(Tired of such posts. Guess what? Don't read. Scroll down or to the next page. Coz this is MY blog. Buhahahahaha!)
(Sorry, that's not nice of me. I know. Just find me a job that pays me to write reviews on tourist destinations, movies, restaurants and all things heavenly and nice, and I promise to stay off your back. Buhahahahaha again!)
So, the movies facing judgement today are: We're the Millers, Grown Ups 2, Phata Poster Nikla Hero (PPNH), Horror Story and regrettably, Grand Masti. You might recall that I'd named these very same titles in my previous post, and I fulfill all my movie vows with utmost sincerity and dedication.
My dad says that movie-makers spend umpteen crores to make films so it is our duty to shell out 100 bucks to watch their creations. Unfortunately, going to a cinema hall no longer is a luxury available at INR 100 unless you go for a day show in a second-grade theatre. Which is precisely why I thank God for our Reliance high speed internet. Films are downloaded in a few hours flat, and I have plenty stored for a rainy day (or for a dry one when I plan to stay indoors and not move my lazy a$$).
So, while Horror Story and PPNH were fortunate enough to be watched in movie halls, the rest were all viewed at home on my Dell laptop (which has been acting up since hubby dearest had it repaired at some shady techie shop).
Nonetheless, he's also the one that got the internet resurrected. It's even. Maybe.
Horror Story had nothing horrible apart from the acting. All the newbies (which I am not taking the pains of introducing) are a pain to the eyes and ears. The characters are far from effortless and novel. Same old ghisa-pita shit about a haunted hotel and silly youngsters who want to make their last party together unforgettable. The ghoul (who looks like Helena Bonham Carter aka Bellatrix Lestrange of Harry Potter fame) is a madwoman who died in a mental hospital which is later rebuilt as a hotel. The story has its nail-biting moments, but they do not justify the length and necessity of making a full-blown Bollywood flick. I had greater expectations from Vikram Bhatt of the Raaz legacy. I dragged my poor husband to it. For you, my advice is please avoid. Don't waste time. Take your dog for a walk, re-watch Pet Cemetry or Conjuring. Doze off. Do anything else. Just don't watch Horror Story. You'll regret it. Right down to the silly actor Achint who has a "s / sh" sound swap and the witch that keeps singing "Ring-a-ring-a-roses"...
Ditto for Grand Masti (GM) 2. It is disgusting. I would rather watch a porn movie followed by Comedy with Kapil if I wanted to LOL. GM fails miserably at both purposes - does not tickle the libido and does nothing to exercise your jaw muscles. I wonder how people can make pathetic distasteful films like these and not only tarnish the prequel but also hint at producing a third washout. Aftab, Ritesh and Vivek have a few funny scenes and dialogues but overall the movie is an abomination. And I'm not saying this coz I'm a girl, even boys have hated the sick humour. It stinks!
We're the Millers (WTM), Grown Ups 2 (GU) and Phata Poster Nikla Hero (PPNH) were way better than all of the above and definitely worth a watch.
WTM has four almost strangers - Jen Aniston, Jason whats-his-last-name alongwith Emma Roberts and Will Poulter playing the Miller family as they have to smuggle narcotics to America from Mexico. There are numerous gags that have you ROFL as each of the characters has their own personality and whims. How they come together and how the task is carried out makes for an entertaining 2 hours. Do download and check out.
GU 2 is good, though not as great as the prequel. All the actors and characters are interesting and hilarious. Jacob from Twilight (Taylor Lautner) is the bad guy this time around who bullies the wimpy seniors and needs to be taught a lesson. Adam Sandler is just too cute and his daughter's as adorable as ever. Perfect for watching with friends and family or even alone. Don't miss this!
And finally, Phata Poster Nikla Hero. PPNH is surprisingly brilliant. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie right from start to end. Shahid's entry is fabulous and his dialogues are mindblowing. What else do you expect from the person who wrote for Andaz Apna Apna? Rajkumar Santoshi has unleashed his magic once more. Uptil the interval, there's not one dull moment. I did, however, find myself wishing that there were fewer songs and even fewer romantic scenes. Fun is the USP of the movie, and they should have stuck to that. But I guess Ileana D'Cruz would have little to do then. So be it. While the climax is nothing extraordinary, the actors have certainly done an appreciable job. Do go for this one, especially the "Main tere agal bagal" track :-)
Having said my say of filmi gupshup, let me fill you in on some gossip. There are stories about Hrithik Roshan and Suzanne getting divorced. While some say this is a publicity stunt for Krrish 3, most people are denying that this is true. Married a good 13 years ago, the couple have beautiful kids and it would be a shame if they broke up. Separation is always ugly. In my world, divorce is not an option. Once married, you're hooked for life (unless of course, there's violence and adultery involved). Let's wait and watch, and pray for the best.
Another update, and a good one at that, is that the Aadhar (UID) card is not mandatory as rumoured earlier. Bless the lord. First the passport, then ration card, followed by Pan card - when should a person work if he's kept busy getting all these identification tags?!!
And let me end with this - "Rape : It's Your Fault" - a brave and intelligent attempt at making people aware of the absurdity in Indian minds about the causes of rape. Kalki Koechlin and VJ Juhi have acted in this video created by All India Bakchod (AIB365) and while it makes you laugh, its brutal reality also makes you cringe. The only problem is, the illiterate people who ought to watch this may not, and even if they do, they'd fail to comprehend the sarcasm. My only wish is that Juhi and Kalki are not made the butt of some aggressive and inhuman act. You should watch this one - it's splashed on Youtube and all social networking portals.
And that's all for now... Be good and take it easy!