Sunday, June 26

Time Tells

Why is it that anything you say has got to be taken lightly or seriously as expected, and my words dash against inappropriate responses time and again? Why the hell is time, money and resource not a concern when you want to go somewhere and do something, yet challenges don’t seem to ebb when I express my desires? Why, for Chrissake, do you frustrate me by saying things that are better left unsaid? By making me feel unimportant? By showing me just how small and oafish I am…

It’s ridiculous. It makes me so irate. Why don’t u understand? Why…

… … …

Patty paused for a moment and re-read what she had written.

Then, just as quickly as the words had been etched, she tore up the piece of paper.

She knew he loved her. She was confident about it. Positive beyond doubt.

But somehow his past haunted her. She could not put her insecurities to rest.

Each moment, she readied herself to hear the worst about Kurt and her relationship with him.

To know that he was cheating on her, that she meant nothing to him, that everything was fake… It would break her heart and strength, but it wouldn’t shock her.

With Kurt, the only things that brought surprise were his selfless genial actions, verbal expression of sentiments and genuine care and concern.

Everything else was a given. He was quite predictable. Admittedly, anyone who looks at one’s own convenience and fosters one’s own ego renders himself quite unoriginal and foreseeable.

Yet, she loved him. Despite several warnings from her friends and well-wishers, she had chosen to give herself and Kurt a chance. A chance that she did not regret. Yet.

The first month had flown by. Kurt had been charming and upbeat about their being together. He bought her flowers and complimented her on her beauty and attire. He took her to expensive bistros and made her feel special. There was little she could complain about, considering the way he showered all he had on her, right from his attention to the desires in his heart and mind.

As things stabilized, they got to know each other better. There were fights and times when they felt they were walking uphill on a mountain with no peak in sight. But they persevered.

She would have given up at some point, had he not demonstrated trust in her and faith in their bond, along with sincere effort and dedication in his actions and ambitions.

There was one thing she could swear by – he wouldn’t do this for any and every one else.

She was special. And though he felt it, he often could not show it. She knew that, too. He had told her.

His excuse was, “I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

She did not know if that was true or not, but she knew very well (from him directly as well as others) that he had had quite a rocking life, in every way possible, some ways that were not recommendable for people from decent, cultured families.

While she appreciated his frank confessions, she was not too comfortable with them. She never would be. After all, one was supposed to be loyal and committed in a relationship, right? And a relationship was always a long-term bond based on love, understanding, adjustment and dependability, right?

Not the way he looked at it. At least until he had met her. Or was that a lie, a facade to dupe her and make her stay until his purpose and fancy were satisfied?

It wasn’t his fault really. He was a boy, and he had made the most of the opportunities presented to him in his varied professions and societies. To live for one’s own sake and do what one felt like without bothering about others was the way he’d been living for a long time now. However, he was trying his best for Patty.

That it wasn’t good enough at times for her irritated him, but he was a patient guy.

Patient or indifferent, Patty was yet to decide.

To her, he merely appeared as a lost puppy, who loved to play about in general, and who bared his fangs when cornered.

She had realised that he was beyond correction, in the sense that his past was undo-able, and he would never even consider underplaying it, or not talking about it in complimentary terms.

If she wanted to hear that he was sorry about it, and he was glad to have her in his life, she was sorely mistaken. He could scarcely begin a sentence without the word “I”, and he indubitably thought he was god’s gift to the universe.

How she wished he would understand her and her emotions. That he would comprehend that she only got angry and hurt coz she was vulnerable and anxious.

That while she was a confident woman outside, she harboured a little girl within who wanted to be told in no uncertain terms that she was special and beautiful, that he would take care of her and never leave her. That what she thought, said and did was unique and marvellous, and he adored her. That he often wondered why he hadn’t met her sooner. That she made a difference in his life, and his life would never be the same without her. That he was blessed to have her in their life thanks to her thoughtfulness, humour, resourcefulness and generosity.

That…

But she knew he’d never say that. Depth of any kind intimidated him. He found himself at home with people who joked and gossiped; he lost interest the moment she started talking about their relationship, what she felt about it and how stimulating conversations would take it to another plane and level.

She feared that he expected her to be funny and shallow all the time. Who was she supposed to share her feelings and worries with, if not him? If he did not appear to listen, or gave unexpected responses, she would snap and reconsider her decision to invest in a relationship with him.

And she would have taken extreme actions long ago had she not truly believed that he loved her.

That he was making an effort.

That he was playing it slow and dumb so that circumstances would not overwhelm him.

That he was scared he himself might give up and take the easy route out by opting to stay single and unattached.

Life was confusing.

Patty sighed. She felt helpless.

To know you’re loved…

To know that you’re loved by someone capable of being the most perfect partner in the world…

To know that this person is not exploring himself and his potential to make their relationship divine…

Sigh.

Some things blossom in their own sweet time…

Others end because the sweet time was too long for the people involved to endure.

She wondered how their story would turn out…

Time would tell.


-Princess

Monday, June 20

You, Me and Stress (Part 1)

Bon Jour, you gorgeous people!

Howdy?


I would like to eat a hamburger… Ae vood lake to-a itt aeee damburgaaaaaaa!!


LMAO… Been watching this scene from Pink Panther a couple of times over the last few days, just cant get over it… Jean Reno is fabulous!! You gotta watch the first part if you haven’t already. You’ll laugh your guts out… More so if you’re interested in training and communication and the like.


Awrite, getting back to our topic for the day. Remember I told you I’m reading a book by John Gray?


Let me remind you in case you don’t – I’m reading Why Mars and Venus Collide by John Gray, also writer of the bestseller Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I enjoyed the first book, and this one is fascinating and insightful too. In fact, there is an entire series of Mars-Venus books and websites for those that are heavily into this philosophy and believe in the benefits of self-help.


I don’t. Although, I did find parts of the book extremely interesting and eye-opening. So useful did I find it, that I thought I should preserve some excerpts on my blog for fast access the next time I need them. Besides, you non-book-readers can benefit from my reading as well!


Now, when I say “some” excerpts, you can bet your boots they are way more than “some” in the real sense of the term. After all, the book is 250 pages long, dotted with revelations and anecdotes. Even if I just mention the highlights, this post is going to stretch to multiple articles. And then obviously, I am going to ramble and put in my tuppence and share my experiences, and by the time all that is done…


Well, let’s not think about it. Why don’t I just go ahead and break this post up into shorter articles that don’t look so exhaustive and daunting :-)


Do bear in mind that I’ve made the language easier and briefer in some places and added my own conclusions and suggestions as well. This is John Gray’s version edited and updated by your own Anuja Rathi. So, don’t talk “plagiarism” and “mindless duplication” here.

Happy reading!


The book is basically all about how men and women cope differently with stress and do not understand that their needs and stress-busters are not the same. Some valuable snippets…


- When a woman is unhappy, no one is happy.
So trueeeeeeee!! Especially me partly being a Cancer (I’m a Cusp – Leo and Cancer). When I’m cheerful, the entire world can be made happy and when I’m not, I tend to put a wet cloth over everyone and everything around me. I have certainly tried to bring my moodiness into control, but the statement stays: One woman can make the entire family happy/unhappy depending on how she is feeling!


- Men misjudge women as demanding and needy when they want affection, appreciation, hugs and compliments. Similarly, women think men are lazy when it is actually their biological need to rest.
Needn’t explain this, right? I guess we all know and all agree.


- Couples with good relationships have stopped trying to change each other.
Ahem, I’d hate to admit this, but it’s right. People just get used to each other and accept each other with their strengths, weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. I won’t say they’ve rigidly adjusted with resentment and forcefulness. Rather, they’ve learnt to adapt and co-habit. Can’t stay mad and inflexible all the time with your partner, right?! I’ve tried to not change the other person in my relationships (all of them, not just romantic ones). Sometimes I’ve passed and sometimes I’ve failed. But it’s always best when you can allow the person to be himself/herself. That way neither of you has any illusions and both of you can be direct and real.


- We have the same goals, but what we need to feel a particular way is very different. We give our partner what we want, but that is often the opposite of what will work!
Bingo again! We tend to think that just because we like something, our partner does too. So many times I’ve tried to be there for a person and talk to him and support him when he may actually want to be alone. This is because I like it when someone cares for me this way. It is only now that I have come to understand that sometimes giving a person his own space is the only and the correct way to be caring and considerate… And vice versa! Folks tend to gift me things and behave in ways they find appreciable and desirable, and I want to scream out NO… This is NOT what I want… So, I guess, being thoughtful means NOT treating an individual the way you want to be treated. In fact, you need to find out what he/she wants and then go about achieving it, if you really care.


- A man does not look for someone who will love him. He looks for someone who he will be successful in loving.
Beautiful line… I’d never thought about it this way. It is really valid?


- In daily life, women are more emotional. However, in times of danger, it is a woman who calms down a man willing to fight.
This one I definitely know to be spot on. When men come to blows, it is often a lady that will calm them down. Unless, of course, the guys are fighting FOR the lady, and she is revelling in the attention and aggression :-D


Okie dokie, I’m gona wind up for now. But be back for some more gupshup and stress/relationship tutorials!!


G’day!

Enjoy the DAMBURGER ;-)


Cheerio!
Princess

Tuesday, June 14

Dead Man Talking

You're taking me for a ride coz I have faith in you, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

You want to break me down and laugh in my face, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

You wana see my beaten and begging, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

You wana wipe my smiles away with my own flowing tears, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

You wana prove to me how helpless I am, and how much you control me, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

You wish to shame me in front of the very people who were worse than me once, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

You want to kill my pride and self-esteem, make me humble and diffident, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

Lucky in exams, unlucky in education. No too lucky in career, reasonably lucky in life.
Not lucky with friends, and certainly not lucky in love.
Feeling forgotten and defeated.
That's what you desired?
Congrats you're succeeding.

People moved on with their jobs and partners, while I kept waiting for life to happen.
I helped and respected the disadvantaged, while others ridiculed them.
I tried to spread joy, while others selfishly made merry and hurt others.
I suffered while other rejoiced.
That's what you wrote out for me, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

You gave me a false sense of self-sufficiency, and left my peace incomplete.
Something was always missing, and my bliss was halved.
Gave you power and contentment, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

Each time someone stood up for me, each time someone was there for me.
You were restless and you snatched away all that you could.
Each time I got up after u tripped me you promised to try harder.
Congrats you're succeeding.

I'm so distressed, so depressed, frustrated and lost.
My sorrows and failures are unsurmountable.
I'm so low, I couldn't possibly be dragged to any further depths of hell and cynicism.
Mission accomplished?
Congrats you're succeeding.

As I'm waiting to die, you keep me alive.
As I pray for relief from the pain, you force me to survive.
Gives you a sadistic sense of superiority, right?
Congrats you're succeeding.

My wretched life yearns for mercy, as I put on a brave front.
I'm crumbling day by day.
Is this what you wanted to see?
Congrats you're succeeding.

Enjoy the feeling while it lasts.I'm not fighting back.
I'm not capable of it anymore.
Do all the terrible you can. I'll take it.
Atleast one of us is succeeding.
Atleast one of us is happy.
Carry on. I'm right here.
Will stay till you say.



As if I have a choice!


- Dead Inside

Friday, June 10

Forsaken Faith

Saahil loved women. They made him happy in so many ways.

He used them to suit the purpose at hand. He explored them in bed, showed them off at social dos, wooed them when he felt flirtatious, seduced them when he wanted to feel powerful, ignored them when he wanted to hang out with the guys and politely bade goodbye after he was done with all of the above.


And women… They seemed to know it all – his history, reputation and character - and yet got attracted to him. Some because they wanted a wild guy exactly like him who they believed they could tame and keep for life, others because they themselves wanted to enjoy a brief, stormy ride in the woods.


The string of women never ended. One gave way to another, and for Saahil, ever woman was a feather in his overflowing cap; a victory that made him feel like the alpha male he fantasized to be. He guiltlessly hounded them, sometimes one at a time, other times several at once.


Good if they agreed, better if they didn’t. It gave him a challenge to focus his ambition and skills on.


What baffled the other guys was that Saahil wasn’t what you’d call good-looking. He wasn’t young or affluent either. He was just about average in every way. And yet he landed the classiest of girls. How could charm account for everything? The way he talked was anything but genuine, his objectives were anything but genteel, and yet, there he was – making his moves and taking his chances with any and every chic that he came across. Some guys just had all the luck in the world…


People laughed behind his back and bitched all around him. That didn’t unsettle him. He didn’t like anyone anyway; to him, they were all idiots that he had to put up with. Until he won the lottery.


But until that time, Sahil was happy and content in his world of lasses, blether and liquor.


What lay in his past? Did he have a story that could explain the way he was? Had he been ditched by a girl? Was he ever duped and misled so badly that it scarred him for life? What was his reason to go about scarring other women? Was he really superficial and fake? Was he just too lazy to think and care?


His showiness was a mystery to the ladies he interacted with. They couldn’t figure out why he was so artificial and casual. They didn’t understand how he didn’t think or care about who did what and who said what. Nothing perturbed him. It was a blessing when they had other commitments and secrets. Obviously, it backfired when they felt emotionally uncared for by him.


After all, which girl wants a guy that says ok and hangs up when she’s yelling at him to get lost coz she’s upset?


Well, he did call back after sometime. Sometimes.


The other times, he just broke up without a word and went off his gay path.


(Gay, as in merry. But yeah, some people did suspect that he was gay…)


The only thing that interfered with their conclusion was the continuous and endless spate of females that he hung out with openly and in private. He blatantly wheedled one and sneaked out with another. He shamelessly declared, “everyone is my girlfriend” when someone asked about his current flame.


If the unfortunate girl was in love with him, too bad for her. He had no intentions of hanging around for too long. After all, just how long can a dog keep running behind one car?


She just ought to thank her stars that they weren’t engaged or wedded. Saahil wasn’t a guy that would remain loyal or caring forever. And marriage wasn’t a priority for him anyway. Everything that he needed was freely available without connubial hassles. And he knew how to make the most of it.


He WANTED to make the most of it.


Saahil stepped out of the house and kissed his girlfriend as she called for the lift.


It had been a lovely night, she thought.


“I’ve to pick up some booze and munchies on the way. Got friends coming over tonight”, he said.


She held onto him as they rode down the lanes.


As he dropped her, she clung onto him and said, “Please call me when you reach home.”


“Love you baby”, he said.


He reached the mall half an hour later. The streets were filled with traffic.


But there she was, as dainty and gorgeous as ever. Waiting for him.


"It was gonna be a beautiful day", she thought…



Saturday, June 4

Super Saturday!

“Weekend”

That single word contains all the bliss and excitement present in the universe.

Of course, it’s not everyone’s destiny to enjoy 2 days off a week: I know of quite a few people who work 5.5 or 6 days per week – I was one of them until last year when I joined IBM.

So, it’s all the more reason to get excited and start planning what to do and how to go about it.

Well, this weekend, for a change, I had no plans. Rather, I had a plan that finally did not happen, so I went with the flow and lived a divine and delightful day today – as the title gives away, it was a Super Saturday!

To begin with, the weather was abso-fu*kin-lutely brilliant! It’s been drizzling and pouring the last few days – the monsoon has finally arrived in Pune.

Here are my initial thoughts when I woke up: It’s perfect to go out for a drive. (Though petrol prices have skyrocketed.) It’s perfect to write a nice, emotional blog. (Which I do irrespective of the climate conditions.) It’s perfect to go gallivanting out in the rain and shop or eat or hang out. (As if we need a reason to do that!)

So, basically, it’s a perfect day for anything and everything :-) Time to move on with the day!

Well begun is half done – I woke up late (as usual) and lazed around online and at home. I was enamoured by the raindrops on my window and the rains lashing the streets, so I enjoyed the sight with a warm mug of coffee. (Damn, I’d forgotten I as fond of coffee since I’ve begun my loyal, continuing affair with ginger tea!)

By the time it was 2, I realised I had a movie to go to… None other than KUNG FU PANDA 2!!! And that too in 3D!!!

A quick shower and lip-smacking, piping hot Maggi later, I reached E-Square. Wonder of wonders, unlike most occasions where the rain will increase the moment you’re outdoors, it actually let up and I could reach the theatre without getting drenched. Thanks Lord Varun. Muaaaaah!

As expected, the movie was fantastic. I’m crazy about part 1 and I already knew I would adore the sequel.

But before I go onto details, I MUST say this…
Is there among us any individual who finds the national anthem at the beginning of the movies drab or tedious? Dude or dudette, mend your ways before you hear from me… Coz I think it’s marvellous. It’s a reminder for us to recall that we’re Indians and there are people out there who are fighting for the nation and us citizens.

While most screened anthems focus on the artists and the musical elements, the one that I deem the most moving and patriotic is where the Indian army atop the Siachen glacier is shown holding the flag amidst difficult weather conditions. My eyes well up more than a few times as I look at the soldiers waving the flag and trying to hold it high as natural calamities push them down. And yet, they don’t give up. And yet, they have a smile on their face and passion in their hearts. The dedication and fire in their soul lights up their face and eyes when they hear or sing the Indian national anthem.

And I feel proud… to be the one that they are defending… to be a part of this wonderful nation and civilization… to be alive and capable. Jai Hind! There’s none other like you, Mother India…

Really… I appeal to you… Enjoy the moment the next time you go to watch a film on the big screen. Don’t think that the anthem is interfering with your movie experience – make it a part of the experience. Watch the video, sing along, feel the beat and the emotion that is so tangible you can almost sense yourself with the soldiers – praying and applauding our beautiful and great country...

Awrite, no more gyaan… just do it, okay? No more groans or disrespect when the anthem is on.

Mind it.

So… Kung Fu Panda 2… the story is as simple as this – there is a wicked peacock that was banished, and he returns, so the Dragon Warrior and Furious Five set out to drive him away and save China. As luck would have it, Po has a weird connection with the peacock, which prevents him from showing the valour of the Dragon Warrior a couple of times. This is when the Tigress, Monkey, Mantis and Snake step in to take charge and avoid defeat through their brilliant coordination and expertise in Kung Fu. As the plot unfolds, Po realises that the goose isn’t his real father. He gets curious about where he came from, which he finally learns, but doesn’t still know about the whereabouts of his parents. (That is where the makers have given out the hint of a third part of the movie.) The peacock is got rid of, and the troupe return victorious along with Master Shifu and 2 other mighty warriors – a rhino and crocodile.

We gotta admit - Folks in Hollywood have a knack for storytelling and it’s completely paisa vasool. The dialogues and humour are super, and the direction and animation is mind-boggling. As if all that wasn’t enough, there are 3D effects in the movie that make it incredibly terrific! You can almost reach out and touch your favourite warrior! Or you can have things thrown at you and tackle a few fiendish wolves.

All in all, a splendid blockbuster! Must watch for you all… If you want to find your INNER PEACE :) Coz after all, it’s not what your beginning was – it may not be as great as you’d like, but you can certainly decide who you want to be. That is of the essence. Happy viewing! My rating – 10 on 10!


(Oh, and for those of you that have asked or told or requested me to watch Hangover 2, I already have... and I was bored to death! What was all the hullaballoo about?? It was poorly made, the jokes were the same old, and it really did not live up to expectations. I slept through the movie. Waste of money. Guess Hollywood folks make blunders too. I'm sure if you are a boy, you'll have liked this film. No wonder... men are dumb. No discussion on this. Period.)

(So are women, actually... But anyway, the point is the movie was silly and monotonous.)


Luckily for me, the rains had taken a lesson or two from the movie, so they’d decided to give us a breather! I could visit the famed and extraordinary Inorbit (going by Pune’s current mall standards). And let me say, it did justice to its reputation. It’s huge to say the least, and the brands it houses are first-evers in Pune. I felt like I’d returned to my day in Saket (Delhi) where I visited 3 colossal malls all in one straight row. I guess I can say - Pune’s arrived! All set to join the league…

But I’ll also add, I would never go shopping to Inorbit! It’s too massive for my liking, and this confuses me when I’ve to buy something. I’m not averse to picking up a few garments though from Globus and W, or hanging out at the food court and coffee bar. And… great crowd!!

Hunger pangs struck, so we called it a day and headed to Kareem’s in Camp for Kathi Kebabs. They’re unbeatable, and we topped it with a chocolate ├ęclair at Dorabjee. Greedy me, I also packed some brownies, meringues and macaroons to eat later in the week. Pity Kayani had shut; before time as usual coz they run out of goods and products. Grrr… Need to go back one of these days and sink my teeth into their sinful Mawa cake… Yummm!

So, that was an exhaustive (literally) statement of my day.

Sunday is almost here… What you got in store, buddy?!!

I sit here feeling the breeze by the window, with oil in my hair (gave myself a relaxing head massage) and dream of munching on a meringue…

Time to end this post!! My meringue beckons…

Cheerio!
Princess